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Trying to fix the problems

tyra's picture

This week has been a turbulent one. I am happy it is just about over.

Well, most of you know about the argument I had with the ex last year and her hatred towards me because of it. It seems that I will never have peace because of her and this hatred. Threatening to take access time away from DH because of me (she doesn't have the power to do that but she thinks she does).

So I am trying to rid myself of all the guilt, anger, resentment that has built up inside me. So I sat down yesterday and wrote an email to her. Only to address my behaviour through this how ordeal. Taking responsibility for the things that I have done.

I don't expect to hear from her but I think it has made me feel better. I guess to be the bigger person. So that when we run into each other I can say hello (she may not acknowledge it but oh well). I want to rid myself of my issues and if she wants to hang onto to them, that is her problem.

I just want to move on and enjoy this life of mine. She will be in for a long time and I don't think I can do this to myself or my kids any longer.

So I guess only time will tell how this will play out.

Comments

tyra's picture

Thanks fearless. I am surprised already how much better I feel. Just want to live a good life and not get caught up in all this bitterness. My soul has not been the same since all this crap began. I should have done it sooner but my ego and anger was getting in the way. Oh well better late than never.

Thanks for all the support. You guys suggested that I might try it and I know it was the right thing for me to do.

Hugs to you!!!!!!

Anne 8102's picture

Now you can honestly say that you did everything you could to repair the situation and it's no longer your burden to carry. She can either be a grown-up about it, accept your apology and move on or she can be a bitter nutcase and never let it go. Either way, it's now her problem and not yours. I think you did the right thing. Actually, I think you did the only thing you could do. Whether she responds or not doesn't even matter, because you know that you did the right thing, the adult thing, the healing thing. There are some people out there who would rather hold onto bitterness and hatred. If they want to poison their own lives, fine, but don't let her poison yours. It's a dead issue. Do a little happy dance on the grave and be proud of yourself.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

tyra's picture

Thanks Anne. I am usually not one to hold onto things and I have never had an argument like this better, so I think the guilt was eating me up. It is amazing when you do the right thing how it alleviates the guilt. You are right there are some people who hang onto the bitterness and hatred forever and can't let things go and I don't want to be that person. I am hoping I have another at least 40 years ahead of me...so to spend it feeling like that would only hurt my life nad my families. Too many good things ahead of us.

You always have such wise thngs to say and just reading your input helps all us have new insights. So thank you to you.

Enjoy your day

Little Jo's picture

It's great that you are not expecting to. But just wondering.
You truly do not need to feel guilt over someone elses feeling that you can not control.
Hang in there.

tyra's picture

HI Little Jo

I didn't expect to hear back from her (I thought there might be a small chance she might contact DH and ask about the letter). It is just as well she didn't.

I did the letter for me and hubby and the kids. I needed to get it out of me so that we can live our lives well.

Thanks for asking. If there is an update I'll let you know. No news is good news...or the calm before the storm. Time will tell.
Have a nice weekend.