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SD is doing better

TryingSoHard's picture

...this week.

Last week, her dad had a talk with her about drugs. I don't know why we never thought to say this before, but I had something of an epiphany. After getting some advice from a friend, it occurred to me we were trying to deal with all the symptoms of the problem without dealing with the problem itself. We talked about it and SO agreed with me.

Then, he told SD, "You have a choice. You can do one of two things. You can do drugs. OR you can live here. Pick one or the other, because we won't tolerate drug use from anyone in this house."

Believe it or not, I don't believe she's been imbibing since that conversation. I am a recovering substance abuser myself (4 years sober) so I am something of a sleuth at being able to spot someone drunk or high. Another clue she's been sober is she's suddenly having trouble sleeping at night (I think a steady diet of pot smoking was putting her to sleep) and she suddenly has no trouble getting up in the morning. No yelling, slamming doors, arguing with her dad or trying to get out of going to school. As far as I can tell she hasn't been stealing either.

I know this is only a few days of progress, so I haven't gotten my hopes up too much. She could swing back in the opposite direction any minute. That said, this is a much needed break from some serious stress and anxiety for me. I stepped on the scale the other day and was shocked to find I have lost six pounds without trying (I have a small frame and that's a lot of weight for me). I'm not complaining about the weight loss... but it's definitely the direct result of some severe anxiety and discomfort.

I'm praying things will improve. I asked SO if he's willing to make SD move out if/when she gets caught using drugs again. He said he'd have no problem doing that. I love her and don't want to see her go, but there are certain things I will not tolerate NO MATTER WHAT. Enabling her is not worth my sanity.

Thanks everyone.

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TryingSoHard's picture

She will be eighteen very soon. At this point, BM acts as an ATM machine for her, so I don't think she'll have any problem going back there. I hope she sticks with it as well.