You are here

BM will do anything to talk to SO, even insult him and me.

TryingSoHard's picture

When BM has gone a few days without talking to SO, she makes up an excuse... usually a really dumb one. Today she tried to start an argument with him via text message. Her criticisms are ridiculous. Examples:

1) "SD just needs you to be a dad to her."

Be a dad? How? Could you be more specific? No; this is just something you like to say, BM. It doesn't really mean anything.

2) "SO, you need to grow up."

Explain? How should SO "grow up"? By going back to you and living in misery for the rest of his life? That's really what you mean, isn't it?

I'm sick to death of statements from her that don't mean anything but are meant to infuriate and guilt trip. She's a lonely, powerless, emotionally stupid woman. Honestly, I feel sorry for her. She needs to get a life, mind her own business and leave us the hell alone. We are far too busy for this childish crap.

A side note: our life and relationship have improved exponentially since SD moved out. I feel at peace in my home again! But alas for poor BM; not having a child in our house has removed her claws from our daily life. She must, unfortunately, find new ways of trying to control SO. Abusive text messages can only do so much.

Sorry for the rant. Any tips on how to get BM to leave us the hell alone?

Comments

TryingSoHard's picture

Yes, it came out of nowhere, and it's just one of her sayings. Doesn't mean anything in real life. It's code in BM language for "I'm angry and depressed that you left me [seven years ago] and I have no way of coping but to continually insult you in truly ambiguous ways that have no basis in reality."

In this case, it was a "response," so something she overheard me saying that had nothing to do with her. She's insecure and jealous because I'm in the picture.

TryingSoHard's picture

It had to do with SS getting caught smoking pot and me projecting the possibility that he MIGHT have gotten it from his older sister who has a serious pot problem. Of course, BM couldn't grasp that that might be a possibility.

All I said was, "I wouldn't rule out the possibility of SS having gotten the marijuana from his older sister." This pissed BM off majorly, and SO told her he didn't think my statement was unreasonable. Of course, BM can't stand for anyone to criticize her children. She has been the master enabler in the situation with SD, turning a blind eye to SD's seriously dangerous behavior at every turn, simultaneously blaming SO for anything that might be wrong with SD.

It's always someone else's fault with these emotional neanderthals. Easier to blame a child's behavior problem on the non custodial parent than to actually take some RESPONSIBILITY for your own shitty parenting.

bearcub25's picture

Exactly why I put my foot down and texted BM and told her to stop with the BS that had nothing to do with their kids. So far it's worked like a charm I'd say it embarassed her to know he was showing me the shit she was sending.

This was the first time in 3 months she hasn't txted SO and had him pick her up a pack of smokes on his way to get the kids.

TryingSoHard's picture

How embarrassing for her.

If we know anything about BM, it's that she cares GREATLY what people think about her. We can always use that to our advantage, can't we?

Lalena75's picture

We get this from BM on the weeks we don't have SO's kids. SO responds with "K" that's it nothing else. My ex does it to me when I try to discuss issues the kids are having and I'm detailed about what the issue is what I'm doing and whats his opinion which would actually require him to participate in parenting he just says "k" which is infuriating to no end for me, difference is I'm trying to keep him in the parenting loop as much as possible, SO's BM just does "why do you hate your children so much", "you need to be a better dad" blah blah blah. responding "k" and ignore it is the best I got BM has mostly stopped her texts, and I parent my kids without their dads input for the most part.