Sorry folks, Blog hog here! 
 

DH and I are buying a vacation/future retirement home overseas, and we finally learned our closing date is at the end of the month. Woohoo!! We're really excited and immediately booked flights to go there- DH hasn't even seen the house in-person, only I have. 

Anyway, we have Right of first refusal in our CO, BUT, it only needs to be used if we are gone for more than 5 days on our custody time during the school year only. We will be gone for Sat/Sun night of one skid week, but our flight doesn't leave until late Sat night, so DH said we would have skids stay at our house that night and go to Crazy's on Sun (a day early) assuming she wants to take them. Then, we are gone 3 nights during our next custody week. So 4 nights total. We don't need to offer Crazy ROFR. DH keeps insisting on it, which honestly pisses me off because 1. He also insists on switching days, even though ROFR isn't a "switch". It's her choice to take them or not, but we are not required to make up days. DH is the one who feels obligated to do so. 2. Crazy is a psychopath who is hell-bent on alienating skids against us. SD gets brainwashed there. DH's parents and sister live right down the road and could take them. They would have access to a hobby farm, golf cart and 4-wheeler...all fun things they enjoy but don't get to do now. Plus it's a healthier environment than at Crazy's. DH refuses this option because heaven forbid skids would not sleep in their beds or have access to video games. He said "SS would probably be running around to his mom's and his gf's, and he doesn't want his parents to have to deal with that". Bullshit. Also, if that's your fear, then parent your kid! Tell him if he doesn't follow the rules he will be grounded when we get back. He just Doesn't want skids to have to sleep somewhere else...you know, like every other kid does.

Anyway, DH and I crafted a message to Crazy with the dates of the "switch" DH insisted on. We would essentially have to take them Sat/Sun for 2 of Crazs weeks to make up the 4 days. Which is not ideal/ that's 2 wknds that we now have kids. DH insisted on putting in the message that we leave late on Sat and skids would be staying at our house alone that night. SS will be 17 in 4 weeks. SD is almost 14. Our next-door neighbor is a good friend (and SS's teacher) and she watches our cats- We feel ok with this. I told DH not to put that in the message because it would just cause issues, but again he insisted. 
 

Here is why I'm livid. DH just called from work (he's on 2nd shift and it's a skid week...imagine that) and said Crazy responded to the message saying she has an issue with skids staying alone, and said we should take them on a different day instead (which would mean we would have them for 10 days in a row). DH asked what I thought and I said no. Tell her no. He's like, really? You really want me to make this a whole thing? I said yes. We decided we are ok with this, and she doesn't dictate our home. He's like, well she isn't dictating our home, but it's not an unreasonable compromise... I said, how is it a compromise?? You and I decided on this, and you would just be going along with her to placate her, while my opinion goes out the window. If you say yes she sure is dictating our home. He sighed and said, you're really going to make me message her back and say no? I said yes! She is not dictating what we do! I told you not to put that in the message, but you insisted on telling her when we left. We don't even have to offer the kids to her, and it's not even in their best interest, and I can't for the life of me figure out why you're doing it. But you and her just get to do what you want while my opinion is disregarded. He just kept sighing like I was making him do the worst thing imaginable, and honestly I'm so sick to my stomach about it. DH doesn't let Crazy dictate things. He's not afraid to tell her no. But this is him wanting to do what she says at the expense of disregarding my opinion and making me upset. It's gross and hurtful and I'm so disappointed in him. He sighed a bunch more times and said fine. 

It makes me dread any future trips, because this is what happens every single time. DH doesn't care if we have skids 3 weeks in a row. They're his kids and he has his rose-colored glasses on, even though we are constantly exhausted by them lately. He is the one turning something into a switch that doesn't need to, and doing what's easiest so he doesn't make waves. It always ends up in a fight with Crazy, and between him and I. 

I am sitting here seething about the whole thing.