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Stepmum vs stepdad...why is there double standards?

Topmuffin901's picture

Why is it that when a woman marries a man with children she is automatically seen as the homewrecker and the evil stepmother but when a man marries a woman with children he is seen as an honourable great man for taking on the children? Am I just dumb because this confuses the hell out of me!

Comments

dreadingit's picture

I wonder if it is because most people (unconsciously) assume that as a woman, you automatically feel maternal love toward any child you are exposed to. Unless you've lived it, you have no idea how it feels to deal with the influences of a vindictive BM and her efforts to meddle in and control every aspect of the life that you're trying to build with your husband and his kids.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

There are a lot of stereotypes with men and women that seem to be double standards. Another one is that when a woman gives her child up for adoption, she is seen as heroic, but if a guy does the same, he's seen as a deadbeat. Go figure. These are things that need to be changed slowly over time, and the first step is recognizing them. Smile

Topmuffin901's picture

I think giving your child up for it to have a better life (whatever sex you are) is one of the most selfless and noble acts you can do. I applaud these people as I think if I were in their position I may be to selfless to do the right thing.

Merry's picture

Same when I divorced. My ex had our D every other weekend. Several people (including my own mother) said he was such a wonderful father for taking care of his own daughter a whole four days a month. No praise for me--not that I needed or expected it. But the double standard bugs me.