Your life revolves around them?? Thats effed up!!

he shouldn’t have married you and especially a woman with much younger kids whom he has banned from his house. You and your kids are a full package!! Yes he married you but he knew you had 2 minors and he has shunned them! That isn’t ok!! 

He’s treating you more like some f*ck buddy!! 

I agree with ybarra357, get an anulment, the fact this is happening literally right after you married is major red flag of whats to come. This guy has misled you...  get an anulment and cancel the sale of your home and tell your newly married husband to “get stuffed and go eff himself!! Your kids are not something or someone to shun and hideaway and neither am i!!”

plenty of guys remarry and juggle time with their spouse/partner and kids.... never would my husband say “no you Can’t come home as i want alone time with my kids”, my husband loves sex with me too much to be that much of an effin idiot.

believe me my skids (2 are adults) had demanded daddy take them on a holiday for a week during our 3rd wessing anniversary and leave me and me 1 & 2.5 yr old at home... never would my husband go on a holiday with his kids when i and my 2 toddlers are at home... thats never something he would consider as we are his family too

Why did you get married before the SD left for college?  Why did you get married before the addition was done?  Something is off in this whole scenario.  Why the rush to marry when he obviously dragging his feet now to complete the deal?  

This is just an excuse - if he had really wanted all this alone time with his precious, you could have gotten married after she left for college. IMO, there will be other excuses to put you and your little ones at the end of his priority list. 

I know you're saying that you want to be with this guy, you just wish that you can bring him around to understand where you're coming from. If you can do that then great. Apart from the red flags, also consider that you may never bring him around to your way of thinking. He may already understand what you're trying to say. He just doesn't care or agree where the priorities should lay. What then? Do you love and respect yourself enough to walk away from this and wasting your years over someone who refuses to put you first? 

May I ask why you guys decided to marry now instead of after his 18 yo left? And how does he think everyone will reach this magical "adjustment" if you don't live together? Sounds like he feared losing you if he didn't marry you right away, but fears losing his kids if he does. But you can't be "half-married", you either are or you aren't. Why can't you be there and he still spends time with his daughter? That's what will need to happen once you move in. I too am concerned this is a red flag that he's going to put his kids needs above yours. 

So you are already married and he tells you not to bring his children over to HIS house. He sends you a message that's how life is going to be. Don't sell your house. Stay there. The minute my HUSBAND (not someone I am just dating) tells me not to bring my children around I'd file for divorce. I've never heard such a thing. Marry a woman and prohibit minor children to come over wtf

If you just married you can maybe get an annulment. 

oh he knows how you feel. He just doesn't care. It's a mistake to stay with this man. When people show you who they are, believe them. He is showing  you now 

Somewhere there has been a major breakdown in communication and compromise, but I'm not sure who the guilty party is.

I guess my first question before diving any deeper is whether or not you agreed to this arrangement before getting married? If you and your DH discussed this, and you agreed that you would remain in your home until the addition was done, then I can see why he's upset that you're trying to back out of an agreement you two came to together. Regretting it now on your side doesn't mean that he needs to give in to your regrets. That's unfair to him.

If, however, you all got married and then he dropped the bombshell of "you can't live here for 2-3 months", then that makes him the "bad guy" in this scenario. The time for him to discuss with you that he wanted this unconventional arrangement was before you walked down the aisle.

One of you is being unfair to the other, and you two need to be able to talk that out or you'll be divorced again, to put it bluntly. What that discussion needs to look like is going to differ on which one of you was the catalyst for the current predicament.

There are also other issues that need to be worked out here as well, including why you and your kids moving in is such a problem before the addition is added. Does your DH expect you and your kids to hide away in that addition when his kid(s) is/are there? Are your children unruly and he knows that he'll have to devote a loy of time to working with you to uphold household rules and make sure they don't ruin things? Do his kids not like that he got married and he is mistakenly keeping you away thinking that it'll be easier to acclimate one and not both of his kids to you being there? Or, more sinister, he wants you homeless and under his roof past the point where you can get an annulment so that you're less likely to leave even though he knows his kids will be royal witches to you?

There's a lot here and it's not as simple as just when you move in together. You two likely need counseling to talk through these things sooner rather than later, and I'd highly recommend that you keep the money from the sale of your house stashed away as much as possible (minus whatever you owe for your half of improvements to the home you're moving into).

Perhaps the guy is having buyer's remorse. 

 He's 2 years away from being an empty nester.  Now he has made a choice that could have him raising kids for the rest of his life.  That's a scary realization for someone who was looking forward to having a kid free home.  All of his plans and dreams for the next stage of his life are going out the window because he feel in love with someone with little kids.  It sounds like the man loves the OP, but not her children (which is perfectly fine) and does not want them around ( which isn't fine). 

It looks like the kids are with the OP for a week and with their dad for a week.  The only time the OP is  allowed  to visit her husband (that sounds so crazy) is when her girls are with her ex.  Even though he only has his kids every other weekend, the OP can't stay during the week days when she has her kids.

His actions are screaming I WANT HER, BUT I DONT WANT THOSE DARN KIDS AROUND.

I would hold off on everything for a bit until all of this was sorted.  While I know it's normal for some  SPs to not want SKs around(even well behaved ones), I would never have my kids live in that environment.

Your husband told you to leave? Wow. Is he generally speaking very controlling and kind of mean? Why did he get married if he doesn't want his wife to be around? Can you put a stop to your house being sold? You are signing up for a life of pain 

I don't even think it's an issue of a stepfamily. It's an issue of marrying a mean spirited controlling man. If not step kids, it would be his parents or friends or wotk. You'll never be a priority.  

This man never wanted to be married.  You should not have to talk, plead, counsel...someone into marriage. Just because someone gets along with kids and even loves them, doesn't mean they want to live with kids.  It doesn't mean he will ever view your kids as part of his family. 

You seem to have this idea that you all will be a big happy family of 6.  He is showing you that it will be a family of 4 adults with your 2 little ones tossed in from time to time.  And all of that is contingent upon what his older daughter wants /feels at any given time.

On top of all of that, he's mean to you.

There's nothing wrong with realizing that things moved extremely quickly and that you may have made a mistake.

Stop chasing him and see if he chases you.  Stop all communication with him and see what he does.  My first thought after reading your updates is that he acts like a boarderline personality person. The push and pull, all or nothing treatments. Men do have it but they typically don't behave like a women with it.  ( my ex acts like this ).  Put the love feelings aside and look at how he treats you.  Actions speak louder than words.  He has serious issues. 

Lots of good advice here. I just want add my two cents: SLOOOW DOOOWN! You sound as if you're so in love with this man that you can't think critically. You've known this guy less than two years, and you both have rushed every step of the relationship. Yet you say he has commitment issues.Then, you rushed to marry (for health insurance, I get it), but now you're hurt because he's not behaving like a normal newlywed. Good relationships are not supposed to be so hard.

Something isn't right here, maybe several somethings. But the worst thing you could do at this time would be to move in with this man. There's simply too much not known, not understood, and not resolved between you. This is supposed to be the honeymoon period, but neither of you are on the same page. You don't know what's going on with him or his daughter, and again, this is because you've rushed things. Neither of you have done the work to prepare your kids and your lives for blending, because you've rushed things. 

Successfully blending families requires a slow, methodical approach, with lots of communication along the way. It's complicated stuff, because there are so many moving parts. Because you're both parents, each of you should be concerned about your bios interests, and how well they're adjusting. You and your H have skipped a lot of steps, and there's a cost to that. Frankly, you both sound impulsive.

You should be thinking of your daughters, and how to give them the most stable childhood possible. From what you've shared, this relationship has been high on attraction but difficult and unstable. I really hope you'll decide to take a step back and continue living apart for a while. Prioritize your kids, while seeing where things go with this man, and only combine households when there's been a minimum of two years of stable behavior from him.

I reread your posts and now see this situation much clearer. 

He doesn't want to be commited let alone married. He broke up with you many times during courtship (wtf???). And then he married you in a rush because you were sick and had no health insurance 

sadly this marriage won't last and trust me that's not how the greatest love looks. Not at all. This is a dysfunctional unstable relationship from the beginning 

please put a stop to the whole house selling business and stay put. You and your children deserve better 

"I truly didn't know that love like this existed."

That's the oxytocin talking.  This isn't love, it's lust.  Real love is patient, kind, and steady.