It sounds like you need to just go ahead and explode in your session. And enjoy it.

I agree with the other posters. These things NEVER get better. Sounds like counseling is at a dead stand still and not doing much of anything to help the situation. I would put my gripes out on the table. If DH gets mad, so be it.

On the other hand, you may not want his "princess" interacting with the baby. Many of these entitled skids with adult spousal status have actually lashed out and HURT young children of their dad and SM's.

Check out this link and show it to the counselor and guilty daddy: http://webspace.webring.com/people/jh/histigerlily/makeevil.html

Especially point number FOUR!!

I agree...PUT IT ALL OUT THERE!!!!....and don't feel bad about it. Counseling won't work if you just say what you think everyone elsae wants to hear. Trust me,....we are on round 2 of counceling..

Good Luck

Lots of great posts for you to think about. Your DH probably feels guilty about not being with the mom at least for the kids sake. He needs to get over this. Also you sd might never want to be a part of your daughters life and that is her loss. you have no control over that and trying to force it probibly will not help. Have you talked to you husband about being one family, thats what my husband and i do and at least for child to child interations it works. Not for me of course , I'm still the one who stole their Dad even though it had been more than two years and their mom had a creepy boyfriend. Don't forget they have loyalty to biomom and unless she is super healthy and mature she isn't going to nurture a love for you or Baby. Good Luck , and if you are misrable and he isn't willing to try i would think serously of moving.

8 years of disrespect from my adult SD and not a word said to her by my husband no matter how much I told him my feelings were being hurt, I felt like an unwanted visitor in my own home. She would not even look at me, and I'm keeping this short, anyway despite several warnings it blew up when she gave birth to the ultimate weapon against daddy - her newborn baby daughter, and she took that blessed opportunity to not only pretend I wasn't in the room, but to turn her head and look at the hospital mattress while refusing to take a gift from my hands. There were a couple of phone incidents after that where she rang DH tryin to get him to go, to his credit there he said he wouldn't go without me and I wouldn't go because of the way she treated me.....now that was kinda good, but he said it to the wrong person, he said it to the boyfriend not the daughter. Anyway in August this year I said no more she could not come to my house. She doesn't come here anymore, but she does phone DH to keep her fangs in and wind him up every now and again. It still bugs me that he cannot see that he is the problem. Here I have said no more she is not to come here, and he gets on the phone to her and they chat like nothing has happened. So, still the same old story, what I felt, meant nothing then as it does now. He would rather have it this way than tell his daughter to grow up and show some respect for his wife.

She will be turning 30 in March. In 8 years neither she or her brothers have used my name. No need to I guess, because they never speak to me. It's not changing sorry. Make yourself and your son happy, just as BF and his daughter are making themselves happy. Leave before they drive you insane. By the way, you might be better off with SD not wanting anything to do with the baby, count your blessings there.

Sooooo many things going on here. I noticed people using the word "husband" but this is not the case. I feel that moving in without that commitment to one another, without that commitment to the kids, only makes things worse. What is going on is pretty typical. MOST kids don't want their parents remarrying. And the only thing parents can really do is say they need to suck it up because they have no say...which only makes matters worse. I understand how you feel about your son not being included with bf and his kids. There is this thing where a lot of nc fathers have to prove to their own kids that THEY are more important than someone else's kids. I don't even think they do it on purpose. It just is. It's like an instinct. (I mean, other than the fact that every parent feels that THEIR kids are more important, and their actions just show how they feel). I am more concerned that you put your feelings/needs above yours son's by removing him from his dad to make a "happy little family" with your bf. You didn't really put your son up there on your list, but now you expect your bf who hasn't known him for most of his life to put him up there with HIS kids? It looks like you did everything for your bf and he gave NOTHING, and now he can't even make the home life peaceful for you. It's time to do for YOU and your son. If things don't improve, get your own place. You might be surprised at how much better it is to date and have your own place when he has his kids.