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Skids Gotta Be Constipated!!

thinkthrice's picture

I'm sure other SMs here have had incredibly fussy and junkfoodaholic skids.   My skids diet consisted of (and still do in their early twenties and late teens):

 McDonalds,  Oreos by the sleeve,  cheese pizza, kid kuisine, chicken nuggets, fries, doritos, hot dogs without grill marks, pb&j  (with almost zero pb and crusts cut off), choco milk, choco ice cream,  choco chip pancakes,  gatorade, reeses peanut butter cups (ironically) and kraft dinner (blue box mac and cheese)  This is also the Girhippo and StepDaddyBigBuck's diet with few exceptions.

Chef's progeny are all chronically obese, have tooth decay, bags under their eyes... they've GOT to be constipated as well with a diet of ZERO veg and fruit!!! 

Fortunately I haven't had to deal with this since they've PASed out will be almost 10 years officially for the older two this year and 10 for YSS next year.   (and I still have PTSD from it--Post Traumatic SKID Disorder) .

Have you experienced this with the BM constantly serving junk and fast food to her "angels?"

Comments

I love dogs's picture

Then BM turns around to tell my H that "we" need to make sure SD is eating better because she's getting "chunky". SD12 is far from that and eats like a bird! 

After that convo, we asked SD what she eats at BM's to be more mindful of her eating and to try to mimic BM's amazing parenting *eyeroll*. The list was: frozen cheeseburgers, frozen fish sticks, toaster strudel, "kid" cereal, pizza, fast food burgers, etc. etc. BM is hilarious if you didn't know.

When DH left BM, SD was about 5 at that time. SD wouldn't eat anything that wasn't McDonald's or a sonic grilled cheese. One time I dropped SD off at BM's and BM's toddler had a happy meal and BM had some sort of burger for herself from McDonald's. BM can eat this way because she's a heavy smoker and lives on coffee. SD has DH's build and is not petite like BM. GBM and BM are some of the tiniest women I've seen and are freakishly small. GBM especially.

When they went to Disney about 4 years ago, SD said BM ordered the GIANT waffle and took literally ONE bite. SD used to order adult sized meals and eat maybe 1/4 in the restaurant. At least SD eats leftovers. SD also loves eggs (in breakfast burritos with bacon), DH's amazing grilled pork ribs, and real cheeseburgers. So, somewhat healthy? Mac n cheese is technically protein, right? Oh and she can put down quite a large number of California rolls.

I was a heavy kid because I love almost ALL food and my dad is quite the chef. I'm currently struggling to get 15 lbs off before summer, but I haven't committed to a solid diet/ exercise routine and have been snacking more than usual.

One last thing: SD is a sloth. Physical activity has never appealed to her. She stopped wanting to play at parks and such about 3 years ago. She has very low confidence and rarely engages in physical activity because she's afraid of being embarrassed or failing. We try to get her out as much as possible, but what can you do when BM must have 99% control?

thinkthrice's picture

SLOTH!  That's is SD19's fav animal!  So appropo!  Anyway when they were younger, Chef fancied his kids as "athletic."  ANYTHING BUT unless you define "athletic" as HUGE for one's age. 

MoominMama's picture

Yep, BM used to feed them everything out of a can or a glass jar. Her idea of spaghetti was to cook it and just let him put ketchup on it. A lot of the food came from the Chip shop - fried food , mechanically recovered chicken nuggets, burgers etc. A lot of cookies, sweets and ice cream.

Bm can't cook and has no idea of a healthy diet. So when SD left here at a dress size 8 she was soon up to a 16 within 2 months. SS went down to a normal healthy weight when he stopped going there. He used to come back after his weekends there with the most enormously bloated stomach, farting, belching and sitting on the toilet for hours with constipation.

They were never encouraged to drink water. Everything was soda, capri sun etc. Oh and she nearly had a fit when she heard that we had stopped giving 8 year old SS chocolate milk before he went to bed each night. He was obese, I mean really obese. He was at the 97th percentile and she said we were starving him because we stopped the chocolate milk. Some people should never have children.

DaizyDuke's picture

Spaghetti with catsup on it?????  What kind of fresh hell is that??  Ok and I love catsup!  I will eat catsup sandwiches... but on spaghetti????

thinkthrice's picture

but up in Canada, they eat catsup on Kraft Dinner!

MoominMama's picture

this was instead of her having to go to the efforct of opening a jar of ragu sauce or something i suppose. God knows.

--figureditout--'s picture

My DH grew up dirt poor.  He cannot eat spaghetti at all now because his mother would boil pasta and put straight tomato paste on it.  

StepUltimate's picture

To f*ckin lazy to parent & feed her kids nutritious meals & snacks, BM of SS17 fed fast food, every day, multiple meals per day, for the decade she had primary custody. For the same money, with a little prep & planning, she could have fed them amazing good food, but that's waaaay too much effort for a narc HCBM like her. 

5 years of DH having custody & BM having but not usually utilizing EOWE means that now SS is 17, 5'11", and ~185 lbs. He was like 6 inches shorter and 265 lbs when DH got custody. It's a wonderful thing that SS17 is no longer fat! My DH happens to be a wonderful cook, plus it's his love language- he likes to cook for those he loves and even after working a 12-hour shift he will come home & prepare dinner, almost every day. But yeah, SS17 could pretty much recite his favorite drink & menu items of every single fast food place we drove by (passive-agressively hinting he'd like to drive through, of course), and could not BELIEVE that I'd never eaten at a Sonic and a couple of other franchises. Back then, he had stomach aches constantly, and bad constipation. I can't recall him mentioning constipation for a couple of years now, and the stomach issue went from almost daily to every couple of months (usually after having a fast-food weekend with BM, go figure). I'm glad my hubby got to cook for his son during these years. We've been having a tough time but there's a lot of love. 

WalkOnBy's picture

All three skids had chronic tummy issues when I met DH.  Listening to him describe their diets, it was clear why.   Medusa never cooked and literally had this menu -

Monday - McDonald's

Tuesday -Taco Bell

Wednesday - Wendy's

Thursday - Tubby's (a local sub chain)

Friday - Pizza (guess she couldn't find the proper alliterative restaurant)

Weekends were food out of a box - Banquet, Stouffer's, Mac and Cheese.

When DH had the skids (before I came into the picture) it wasn't a lot better since he took them to restaurants for every meal.

He also accomodated their "we don't like vegetables" bullshit.  

Curiously, all three had their tummy troubles disappear once DH had full custody and they began eating my  healthy, fresh, veggie laden meals.

Twix's picture

BM actually called DH one day last summer around 430 and said the skids want tacos tonight when they come over. DH told her Twix is already making dinner and whatever that is is what we are eating. Then she went on about well you can just order them a pizza, they eat enough veggies at her house so they don't need to at ours. ... oh BM .... what is the matter with you...

DaizyDuke's picture

shockingly both of my skids ate decently and spoke of eating meals and half decently at BMs.  Although SD was a big flip flopper.  She could go to Moe's and eat a full size burrito in 3 minutes, she would scarf down 2 orders of  mcdonalds fries and a big mac.. things like that.  But then she'd flip a switch and eat only fruit and yogurt for 3 days.  Aunt J really thinks she has an eating disorder of some type from all the years living with GBM/BM.  Aunt J thinks that there were probably quite a few times that there was no food in the house so when they DID have food SD would binge.  Who knows?  Who cares?

 

StepUltimate's picture

""Who knows?  Who cares?"

You are my Detachment Superhero of the Day! I'm home sick feeling all kinds of UG from the flu, but you cracked me up. I feel guilty too, having struggled with anorexia then bulimia in my late teens & 20's, but as a SM, totally get it and got me laughing.

DaniellaR's picture

Aunt J thinks that there were probably quite a few times that there was no food in the house so when they DID have food SD would binge. 

Awww...I almost feel for her (I remember reading your blogs though). I grew up with a crazy/neglectful BM. There was often no food in the house besides little debbies, to this day, I can't friggen stand little debbies. For the longest time I struggled with food and couldn't turn down free food. Now, I realize where the struggle came from Beee I have been away from my abusive BM over a decade and I am just starting to get over some of the issues being raised by her caused. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Ever since DH and BioHo split (11 years ago), 'Ho has fed the skids a steady diet of fast food, carry out, junk food, and premade-chemical-laden-frozen entrees. When they were together, DH did all of the cooking. What 'Ho cooks isn't fit for a death-row inmate with no sense of smell and dead tastebuds.

  • BioHo is 5'1", at least 250lbs, has 3 chins, and looks like a stack of semi tires.
  • Mr. Pinhead is 5'8" with thunderthighs, cottage cheese biceps, and looks like he swallowed a kegger.
  • SD24 thinks a nutritional meal is pork chops in gravy, mashed potatoes and gravy, and mac&cheese covered with bacon bits.
  • SD21 has so many fat rolls, she looks like a stack of tires.
  • SS18 had horrible acne and what we assumed to be babyfat...until he joined the army. Goodbye acne and "babyfat".
  • PigPen15 has horrible acne and a marshmallow is harder than his midsection.
  • Spawn10 has had "boobs" since she was 7 (it's actually fat). She probably weighs 150 pounds or more.

As you can see, BioHo's cooking has them all kinds of effed up. If they defacate on a regular basis, it's a miracle.

thinkthrice's picture

is actually apt of Chef's kids.   They were all looking Michelinmanesque at a tender age and still do.

Cover1W's picture

SD14 eats no fruit or veggies, sticks to mostly pasta and white foods; I think popcorn is the only fiber she gets. She's thin, but horribly unhealthy.  She has no energy and cannot walk very far w/out getting tired.  Don't get me started on her teeth.

She's a prime canditate for gum disease and colon cancer at a young age (both already run in DH's family and he's vigilant about his health b/c he saw his mother die from colon cancer.  He's discussed it with SD14 but you know, she knows better.

I asked him once "How in the world does she poop!?" 

DaizyDuke's picture

Ok all these stories of what skids eats is making me feel like MOTY here!!!  BS8 is not a perfect eater, but he never eats pop tarts, dinners out of boxes, mac and cheese, mcdonalds, etc.  He drinks milk OJ  and water, he will actually ask for cucumbers and celery at the grocery store.  He likes Doritios but doesn't eat much other packed food besides Nutrigrain or granola bars.  He does have a pizza fetish but also likes home made chicken noodle soup and beef stew.  He loves vanilla ice cream but also eats an apple every day and eats oranges a lot too. 

Yet, I often feel guilty, like I'm not feeding him properly... man I feel sooooo much better now!!!  Biggrin

thinkthrice's picture

We make mostly homemade soups but I'll never forget the disgust I felt when Chef cracked open a can of Campbell's chicken noodle soup, drained all the broth and veg (what little there is)  then served the noodles to OSS, then about 9 years old.   WHAT THE HELL???

Cover1W's picture

The first time I made home-made turkey soup, SD14 (then 10) walked in and asked, "What SMELLS?" Like someone was cooking garbage.  Neither SD would touch it.  I was just astounded.

Of course, back then they were eating toast, white rice and noodles exclusively.  SD12 now eats most things I make so at least ONE of them likes real food.

Just J's picture

BM's mom used to watch my stepkids after school when they were younger and she had a fridge full of soda and junk. When they were with us on weekends all they wanted was soda to drink, which I do not buy. No one cooked at BM's (she always worked until 10 pm even though she had an 8-5 job) so they were on their own for dinner and said they always just ate frozen chicken (the pre-cooked kind you just throw in the microwave). I always cooked full on dinners when they were with us cuz I love to cook, and every other weekend was probably the only time they got any nutrition. 

These days SD is really overweight, which is sad because she's a beautiful girl and she used to be fit and thin, but now she's just huge. She works 2 jobs and one is at a restaurant so I'm sure her eating habits are terrible. SS is thin because he's got DH's genes and he's just lucky, he can eat whatever (at least for now, I keep telling him it will catch up to him eventually), and all that guy consumes is Papa John's pizza and Dr. Pepper. Seriously, there will be 5 pizza boxes in the trash and countless Dr Pepper 2 liter bottles in the recyclables. DH said he was starting to get a gut and it's no wonder. I tried to instill good eating habits in them but every other weekend just isn't enough to do so. But now they're adults and it's all on them. Not my monkeys.

ndc's picture

This is making me feel kind of guilty.  SO's kids eat super healthy at BM's house.  No junk, no sweets.  In fact, she has told SO he should be feeding them healthier foods.  They do get fruits, vegetables and good protein here, but they also get their favorites (pizza, spaghetti and mac 'n cheese), and we have cookies, candy and snacks around, which they beg for.  I'm pretty sure SO has thrown me under the bus and his ex thinks I stuff them with candy.  But none of us are remotely close to being overweight and we mostly eat well, so I don't see anything wrong with the kids being allowed their favorite meals and treats.  I always had free rein over the frig and pantry growing up (and they were packed with yummy stuff), and I learned to self regulate.  My friends whose parents refused to allow them any junk food at home ate like starving prisoners at my house and went way overboard once they had any freedom to choose their own food.

thinkthrice's picture

My parents were total granolas and we almost NEVER had sweets!  We never had holidays either so no cakes, or cupcakes or anything like that.  When I went over to other kids houses (who I viewed as "rich"--one of them actually WAS rich) they had coolers with coca colas and popsicles.  Another friend's house had smarties (M&Ms) in a candy jar out for the taking!!! I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  Of course there is a level of moderation somewhere.  Seems 90% of HCBMs are junkfood pushers and the other 10% are overboard with health food.

DaniellaR's picture

My friends whose parents refused to allow them any junk food at home ate like starving prisoners at my house and went way overboard once they had any freedom to choose their own food.

 

I know over here, I personally don't eat a lot of that stuff so I would have to go way out of my way to purchase junk food and even then, I would probably forget about it cause we just don't eat it. I think we threw away a few boxes of mac n cheese cause they had been sitting in the pantry for years. I think most kids would go crazy on candy and soda if you let them. 

DaniellaR's picture

Skids here choose the menu and BM does what they say. DH has called them before when they were at the grocery store getting lunchables for dinner because they didn't have any at home. Your title caught my eye cause youngest skid actually has been to the doctor several times for constipation. I'm not sure why the cow can't get the connection between diet and constipation but she has sent several bills in her inch thick stack of bills for reimbursement from DH. She claims DH owes her over $3,000 for his half of medical bills. We haven't paid her a penny and we won't. She has free medical and free medicine if she goes to the right place. This dumbass actually had her lawyer send a letter about how she didn't want to go to the place that was 100% covered because she didn't trust those doctors with her precious angels. I guess she didn't realize I could read those ICD 10 codes fairly easy or maybe she had no clue what all the numbers on the bills were so I sent a nice condescending letter about how I am sure any doctor could handle treating her precious for constipation and was fairly nasty about pointing out what causes constipation and the numerous OTC options if she insists on feeding her kids crap. I also let her know we wouldn't be paying the bills for cavities she keeps sending since it was directly linked to her poor parenting (everytime DH talked to skids they were eating some form of sugar).

    When skids were here, we had the food battle for half a second. They are the only kids I have ever seen try to claim they didn't like hamburgers. Uh, ok?? Never seen a kid turn down a burger. Well, DH got angry and actually made the princesses eat what was cooked. The youngest ate everything on her plate, the oldest ate another hamburger. They both asked if we could have burgers again that week. I was confused. DH told me BM is a horrible cook and could mess up even a hamburger. We had the food fight a couple of times when skids were here but after they tasted a few bites, they would devour almost everything on their plate. After a week they would just eat almost everything given to them, they seemed to enjoy home cooked meals that didn't taste like crap.  

thinkthrice's picture

 "so I sent a nice condescending letter about how I am sure any doctor could handle treating her precious for constipation and was fairly nasty about pointing out what causes constipation and the numerous OTC options if she insists on feeding her kids crap. I also let her know we wouldn't be paying the bills for cavities she keeps sending since it was directly linked to her poor parenting (everytime DH talked to skids they were eating some form of sugar)."

WOULD I  EVER  LOVE to do this to the GIRHIPPO!!!!!