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Maturity Level Then and Now

thinkthrice's picture

I am truly amazed by the lack of maturity in today's youth--none other than the PARENT'S fault of course.

Having to support the local public safety area, I ran across this website for unsolved mysteries.
http://www.troopers.ny.gov/Wanted_and_Missing/Homicide/view.cfm?ID=514fa...

Here is a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD from 1961, John Raymond Sutton, sadly an unsolved homicide, that was RUNNING A SERVICE STATION on the EVENING SHIFT ALL BY HIMSELF. I say SERVICE STATION because "gas" stations used to do far more than pump gas! This "child" was doing oil changes, lubes, and servicing automobiles as well as pumping gas and responsible for the store receipts, orders, and everything else that it takes to manage what would be equivalent to a convenience store today.

Can you IMAGINE most 16 year olds today doing such tasks? Hell most of them can't even remember to wipe their own ass after taking a dump. I can only think about SD 15 1/2 who does twerking videos, mugging for the camera, dramatic eye rolls, weird facial expressions for "a laugh" and sticking her tongue out in a 1,000 different ways. HOURS of pointless drivel on FB but supposedly is "special needs" and can't focus more than 10 minutes at a time on homework/classwork!!!

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askYOURdad's picture

I will likely not be popular after this response but here it goes...

Yes the parents are to blame, but the majority of the problems in todays world are a result of the loss of family. I know we as step parents don't like to hear this, but look at how unnatural and difficult most of our families are. Look at how many issues we have that would not be issues if we were a nuclear family. The pendulum really started to swing during WWII when women started working. Women left the home to work (which was necessary at the time) but look at all of the problems that this caused. Look at the materialism in this country alone. When families were single family incomes, there wasn't a phone for every family member or a car. Look at how much waste we have now in comparison. Look at the time lost because mom is working too and the amount of video games/television/inappropriate entertainment that acts as a babysitter to children in the hours that would have traditionally been "family time" Look at how far "women" have come in terms of being able to live on our own and off of CS. Is this 100% to blame? Should women have stayed in abusive relationships or not had equal rights in the work force? Of course not, that is not what I'm saying at all. Just that when those women were picketing and fighting for women's rights, I don't think they had in mind that our golden uteruses could have it all at the expense of our families and of the Father as a teacher/example to the kids. Watch any TV show, commercial etc. Dad's are portrayed as idiots, teenagers are portrayed as lazy and everyone is just hunky dory with this. I tell my kids/skids all of the time what it would have been like if they grew up in a different generation, that before school they would be tending to farm animals and after school helping dad. I could go on all day on the topic and I'm not a women hater by any means but OMG some women really give us a bad name!

thinkthrice's picture

The problem is that societal mores tend to swing to the extremes. Although I wouldn't say a 16 year old running a business is extreme. Teens run computer businesses all the time. And lord knows, college/university isn't what it's all cracked up to be. Dumbed down for the most part with many earning froo froo degrees in "feelings" and "my butt crack studies"

askYOURdad's picture

"feelings" and "my butt crack studies"

^^^hahaha so true... and for what? To graduate indebted to the government/banks while earning cash tips at the local Applebees?

thinkthrice's picture

So far we have had two interns here this season, expecting more to come. First intern is getting a degree in "Legal Studies" and "Political Science." Her job experience has been mostly working at fast food and frozen yogurt places.

Intern number two posted a photo of his bachelors degree from Arizona State online (WTF?) And is now going for his law degree (NYS is overrun with attorneys). He has been working steadily as a parking lot attendant.

This is AFTER they've graduated with a four year degree, not working their way through school.

PleasantEnough's picture

I LOVE your response!!!!!

I have forever said that I should have been born in the 40s-50s era.

Today's youth lack two major things that used to drive this nation. Work ethic and respect for their elders/authority. When entering the world those two things go hand in hand.

I can say that DS10 is well on his way to being a productive member. He mows, does dishes, can cook his own food in the microwave (no stove if Im not around), and we are working on laundry now. His dad takes him to the garage to help work on vehicles, he helps dad clean the cars too. Ive seen with my skids what coddling will do and I knew when I was pregnant with DS10 that by whatever means my son will NOT be that way. And he isn't. By the time we got custody of skids it was too late, habits had been formed, although SD15 has come around some, but just some. She is still lazy, and it irks me!

I do think the nation is too focused on material things. Don't get me wrong I love beautiful purses and clothing but if I cant afford it, I cant afford it.
By being focused on material things though it has caused an uprise in goods, and cost of those goods forcing moms who would normally stay at home, to go to work. I would adore to stay at home, be a homemaker, maybe piddle goods from home for extra cash while the kids are at school (im quite crafty) but instead, just to live I must work full time, and still try to sell goods that I make, and DH work full time as well.

thinkthrice's picture

My bios are "children of divorce" as well but in NO WAY did I pity them. I had them doing chores around the house as soon as they were old enough to stand, walk and comprehend. They did chores for the neighbours to earn extra money; no "allowance" as they were part of the family and expected to help out, not get paid for tiny token, symbolic chores.

My bios DID NOT get the final say on where they wanted to go, where and what we were to eat, what they would be wearing, etc. etc. like today's kids do. They were hardly consulted at all as a matter of fact because they were not responsible for the mortgage payment. Privileges come with responsibilities only. Many of today's modern "parents" give their children 100% authority with 0% responsibility. A recipe for disaster.

Just J's picture

I am so with you. My 20 year old SD does all the same nonsense FB stuff as your 15 year old. She works 8 hours a week as a cashier at a burger place and has no idea how to do anything for herself. Her mom pays her rent, cell phone, groceries, etc, and her Grammy pays her car payment. At her age, I had an apartment that I paid rent on all my by little self, worked 2 jobs and went to school. Neither of my stepkids had to get a job in high school because their mom wanted them to "have fun" which for SS meant play World of Warcraft 24/7 and never attend a single high school event, and for SD it meant the cheer squad and having sex with every guy who looked her way. I see SD being a professional student well into her late 20s and SS living in my guest house working 4 days a week until he's 30 at least. Kids today are so coddled and stunted, no wonder we have a generation of lazy, entitled adults still living at home and mooching off their parents. It's terrible.

thinkthrice's picture

Ring us up in 10-30 years from now. . .we'll be waiting. Very few of my generation were "hippies" The hippies of yesteryear are now leading the country--probably why there are so many problems with the children and lack of parenting.

askYOURdad's picture

As far as kids today having fewer babies- while the statistics may show that, how much of that has to do with a "better youth" vs. more options regarding birth control, sex education and of course abortion?

moeilijk's picture

Good point.

Fundamentally, I don't think people change. As a species, human beings aren't going to change significantly in one or two generations.

What has changed is our environment. Noam Chomsky said something about how watching television rewards shorter attention spans. Then we have FB and iPads and whatnot. All this contact with each other with not much depth.

And a huge downside of so much communication is that often, mis- or disinformation goes viral. So many people become followers. Opinion is given the same weight as fact. And so there is less and less diversity and more and more sameness.

Couple that with the bizarre (IMHO) emphasis on the individual, and you get people who don't think critically, want all the stuff and believe they should have it, don't want to put in any reasonable effort to get it, and struggle to develop relationships or meaning in their lives.

I don't think kids today are much different than in my grandparents' day. It just seems that not much is expected of this generation.

I know many of us are trying to raise our own children differently. I know I am.

DPW's picture

I'm kinda with you. Every generation has its plusses and minuses. When I look at the younger generations coming up, while at one time I saw slackers, now I'm seeing a generation that is going to stop the insanity of the lives we are living. Something has to change. I think these kids are going to bring about the change. The problem is .... when are we going to let them? If I look at corporate America and its insanity, I'm worried that we are not letting this generation in fast enough to slow it all down and refocus the manic energy. Boomers - get out so we can let them in. Wink

This is my first job where I am not the youngest. I'm smack dab in the middle, like my Gen X ways have prepared me for. I look at the younger ones in my office and they have great ideas and are much more efficient than the Boomers above me. Gen Y is also much more focuses on work-life balance and having the right priorities than the Boomers have had, so I have seen in my own career. While I learnt from the Boomers, I welcome Gen Y to make the changes needed to balance out our corporate world.

Shaman29's picture

I agree with you.

In the last 20-30 years I've seen more and more examples of permissive (lazy) parenting and participation awards.

Entitled children being raised to believe they should get something for nothing. Not being raised to earn anything, but being raised to expect it because they're breathing.

Anon2009's picture

I agree. I know for a fact that the "good old days" were not perfect. My family was hit hard by the depression. My grandparents lost their mothers as young kids. There was no "twerking" or taking to Facebook to blast someone else. Most children were not allowed to rule the roost. Free range parenting just doesn't sound like it was such a huge problem back them imho. Some people on this site seem to get their kicks off of blaming the kids. I think blaming the kids is easier for them to do than it is to blame the people they sleep with every night. Most of the guys here (not all) are people who a) let their kids get away with murder for years and start trying to help them way too late or b) always make excuses for their kids.

Also, look at the celebrities featured in magazines and entertainment shows these days. Kim Kardashian just got married for the third time. She is someone who became famous because of a sex tape. Look at what kind of message that sends to people. You make a sex tape, and you'll become famous. Before that tape, nobody gave a hoot about her. She named her child North. She will be some poor soul's BM to contend with. I feel sorry for her daughter and her future stepmother.
Snooki and her costars on the Jersey Shore became famous for acting like idiots.

My parents weren't hippies. Those who were are a few years older than them. What's scary is that many hippies are now in our federal government and teaching at public schools, including colleges.

askYOURdad's picture

Couldn't agree more about the celebrities.

Girls today have "perfect" airbrushed models to compare themselves to. They have the kim kardashians and Lindsey lohans of the world who get more attention the sillier/stupider/sluttier they act. They have shows with girls living in the playboy mansion flaunting how awesome it is that they get paid to be Heff's girlfriends.

Boys today have role models in the form of equally stupid celebrities along with athletes who are constantly in trouble for things like dog fighting/drinking and driving/gun violence/drug use but are they really in "trouble" or are they just getting attention and the news. Young boys have so much access to porn which is way different than finding dad's playboy in the garage and IMO a very bad way to learn about sex/relationships.

Again, I could go on all day.

Anon2009's picture

Agreed. Look at the guy who played on the Patriots team, Aaron Hernandez. He killed people and led a life of violence. Look at Michael Vick. Look at Chris Brown. It's scary that these people have fans.

Anon2009's picture

Mick Jagger at least has a lot of talent and has busted his a$$ to get to where he is. Robert Downey Jr. seems to have made a real effort to get his $hit together. He has a wife, two kids and has been clean for years. I have to give him that.

I can't say the same for the others. Especially Bieber...he is a classic example of free range parenting.

askYOURdad's picture

ha! I bet there are some here who couldn't imagine their DH in charge of heavy artillery let alone the skid

Anon2009's picture

I agree. Now the government is taking it to the school cafeterias in a way they never have before. Some of the comments about these lunches are funny. http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/04/05/students-fed-up-with-michelle...

School lunches aren't going to make a huge difference in the weight of children. Parents actually parenting, however, just might.

People need to get off their behinds and a) parent their kids and b) get involved in the political process so common sense can be restored to our country.