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Easter Throwback--My Report from Easter 2008 (Was Fairly New to Disengaging)

thinkthrice's picture

Ahh, the bad old days!!!

1. Incessant YSS spending
No matter where we went on Saturday, YSS asked for ice cream, candy, toys, etc. even though Easter was the next day. YSS got it. In fact he had “dessert” for lunch and dinner. He was treated to McDonalds for lunch on Friday by daddykins, (extra large chicken mcnugget meal) which he didn’t finish; YSS was aghast that he had to finish it for dinner along with his mac and cheese from Wednesday. I would say every week, Chef drops from $25-$50 on YSS to “buy his love” and “bribe him” to come to visitation. Something we just can’t afford; and what if I or Chef lose our jobs? What will YSS’s reaction be when we can no longer provide constant bribes for him to come over?

2. Special YSS junk food meals
Chef went down this road with the two older ones and it didn’t get him any special “perks” with those two. In fact they don’t even come anymore, didn’t wish him a happy birthday; nothing. The message Chef was sending was that there’s always something in it for the skids when they come over. When that stopped, then they no longer wanted anything to do with Chef. Hasn’t he learned ANYTHING??!!

3. Actually parenting YSS consistently
YSS has no manners although he is capable of them and often says “please” and “thank you” to me because he knows I EXPECT it of him. Chef does parent occassionally, however, he almost never follows through. He did tell YSS to cover when he sneezed and coughed but that lasted for about an hour. Also, when we had adult company over Saturday afternoon (Chef’s old colleague and his brother) YSS tried for 45 minutes straight to take the attention away from the adult conversation and bring it back to him. He went into his room and kept peeking through the door, making “love notes” to daddykins and sliding them under his door, turning his room light off and on, making cartoon voices, yelling, shouting and barking (I kid you not) he did everything he could possibly think of other than say “HEY LOOK AT ME, DAMNIT!!) As he peeked out the door to try and disrupt again instead of quietly self entertaining in his room while his dad talked, I gave him the stern “Nanny 911” look. He would slowly retreat back into his room for about 5 seconds and then try again with flashing his room light off and on. His room is right outside the “dining room” area where we adults were trying to hold a conversation. At some point, I didn’t think I could hear the adult conversation because YSS was getting so loud with his demands for attention. I was facing YSS and Chef had his back to all the YSS goings on. I slowly shook my head no, while giving YSS my stern look again when he was flashing his room light off and on while peeking out of the door to see who would look at him.

I also tried walking right in front of YSS on several occasions to make sure that YSS knew I was in the area as he is prone to slamming in to me as though I don’t exist. YSS also tried slamming the truck door on me as I made sure that YSS sat on the passenger side and I sat in the middle next to Chef on every ride. YSS would run in and presume to sit next to daddykins; I said “you have to sit on this side to buckle with the shoulder harness.” That worked out pretty well, but when YSS exited, he closed the truck door on me KNOWING that I was sitting right next to him! When I called YSS on this, he just giggled and said "sorry" in a sarcastic way.

YSS also did not offer for me to dye any easter eggs, although I had orchestrated the whole thing as well as his Easter gifts (in my opinion, he should get a few lumps of coal and not chocolate bunnies!) Chef had me buy yet another Bakugan game and he glibly pointed out “I already have that one.” He also questions his father on EVERYTHING. Example:

Chef: “Babe do you want a hot tub?” (thinking that YSS will go in after me and share the water; this is really a jacuzzi tub that gets emptied every time and drains the water heater)
Me: (knowing that this is just a ploy to give YSS what he wants, a hot tub all to himself) “No, not right now thanks.”
YSS: “Why can’t I have a hot tub?
Chef: “Because I don’t want to waste that much water”
Me: (silently) AHHH a “NO” for YSS; something he almost NEVER hears!

YSS constantly refers to the Girhippo, Stepdaddy BigBucks, OSS and SD as "my family" "my family does this and that" "mommy says this or that" I know this is natural but it should be brought out to YSS that he has two families not just "my family" and "daddy"

Upon leaving to go to church with the Girhippo and clan, Chef told YSS to give me a hug. He was just ready to skip out the door; Chef acting as porter holding his bags.

Now older SS ALWAYS volunteered to give me a hug and kiss but this kid is so poisoned against me it felt weird when he was "made" to give me good bye greetings by Chef. I know that YSS would just as soon shoot me than hug me goodbye :sick:

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

I should add that this was after the older two PASed out shortly after conspiring with the Girhippo; making a phoney CPS report on Chef nine months earlier.

Took me well over six months to get Chef off of the NYS Abuse and Maltreatment Registry as the Gir had used her pull as a CPS caseworker to run the false charges up the flagpole whilst withholding our copy of the report for refutation.

Tuff Noogies's picture

*stabs eye with fork* you had to mention that effing game!!!! i was SO thrilled when the kids grew out of that sort of shit. SO GLAD.

i do apologize, but i HAD to laugh at the attention-seeking. kaos does this very same crap. he stayed home with dh yesterday so he had his nnngggdddaaddyyyyyy all to himself until i got home. then he immediately started acting up, demanding, interrupting, hovering, sqwaking, knocking on the window, etc. dh sighed and said "he wasnt like this at all, all day, until you got home." i told him "he's had your undivided attention all day, until now - u're out here talking to me and not him." it is what it is.

does your yss still pull that crap? how old is he now?

thinkthrice's picture

"nnngggdddaaddyyyyyy"

This is all I can think of when you say that:

http://imgur.com/mPlF3Dy

BTW YSS is now 13 years old and acting every bit the 6 year old.

Saw him flapping his sleeves, picking his nose and a host of weird and crazy things right in front of his mother's and grandmother's "soup from cauldrons" business.

And here he is next to BM's BM (who is six foot tall herself but may be shrinking a bit in her old age)

http://imgur.com/WP62xcV

Tuff Noogies's picture

wow oh wow. he's a big kid!

were you one of the lucky ladies who got to see kaos' pic the other day?

thinkthrice's picture

I was not, but I'll research your blogs. BTW this is the same kid that shit all over my house on purpose and rubbed it into my furniture just shy of age 7 because Chef stopped surfing the web with him at 3 a.m. on a Saturday.

That's right. Instead of being fast asleep in bed, Chef would pop up at 3 on a Saturday morn (he used to work those hours) and of course Prince Hygiene would wake up for some "quality time" with daddykins. They would surf the web together looking at toys that he could demand that daddy buy him, STAT.

Did I mention that at the time, $25-$50 was the TOTAL of Chef's weekly (weakly) take home pay after taxes and purposely overpaying CS?

thinkthrice's picture

The fact that they all PASed out helped IMMENSELY!!! They occasionally trash Chef on FB, etc.
You know, the PAS koolaid--where the BM alienates then crows about "daddy left us high and dry" crap.