I got with my husband while he was going through a divorce. He had a son who had just turned 2 when I moved in with them. One night after we finished reading to his son and putting him to sleep my SO asked me if I would like his son to call me "mom". At the time I didn't know too much about his ex-wife and didn't really know how long or if our relationship was going to last also I had grown up with multiple stepfathers in my life and didn't like calling them "dad" so I said "No, he already has a mother he can just call me by my name". I helped him through his divorce and the custody battle that lasted for about 5 years and during that time we got married and we had our first kid together. 

I had always wanted two kids and I loved his son like he was my own. I had talked with my husband about how I had wanted the kids to be close in age so that they could play together. His son had just turned 5 when started trying for a kid and it was soon after Christmas when I discovered that I was pregnant. I was super excited and couldn't wait to tell my husband the news! I snuggled up to him in the bed and told him but he didn't seem all that excited. All he said was that I need to get health insurance right away and went back to sleep. 

Our daughter was born and I was happy. He helped me when I needed it and I would ask him for advice since he had been through all of the newborn baby stuff with his son. With our daughter, everything was a new experience for me and I was glad that we could go through this together since I had missed out on this part of his son's life. 

Our daughter is now just about 2 and it is obvious that his favorite is his son. At Christmas, I commented on the number of presents he got his son and how we hardly got any for our daughter. I know that she was too young to know that he was getting more than she was but it still irritated me. He flat out said to me that his son was his favorite like he wasn't even going to try to really like our daughter. Now since it is summer we have a lot of time off and I let him sleep in most of the time while I get up with our daughter but I asked him once if he could get up with her and I could get some sleep because I was really tired and he got really mad. I asked him if he even heard her get up in the mornings and he said that "it must be a first child kind of thing" and that he never hears her get up but he did everytime his son got up when he was little. 

His whole attitude towards me and our daughter is "Been there, done that, got the T-shirt". He has already been through a marriage and has already been through the early years with his child and doesn't seem to cherish the moments with her or with me. We seem to just be second in his life like his second family while he still has firsts with his son.