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feel so alone in my own house

strugson's picture

Submitted by strugson on Fri, 08/31/2007 - 10:04am

And I thought we did everything right...including all 4 kids (hubby has 3 kids, I have 1)in our decision to move in...get married. It has been 5 years now and things are terrible. When the SD's come to visit (14,17).... every other weekend or whenever they aren't too busy, it's like being a stranger in my own house. They sit in their room and don't say anything to anyone and it is a weekend of dread and loneliness. And it just keeps getting worse with BM filling their heads with crap. SS is 50/50 but he can be easily influenced by BM and SD's...I hate to think what is coming.

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gertrude's picture

Submitted by gertrude on Fri, 08/31/2007 - 10:29am

I told my DH that he and the Belly were actively excluding me. We discussed it for five whole minutes. He denied that they were, but then nothing changed. They have their little pow wows - it never includes me. They have their little power plays and schemes (Like coming in with SD's friend and having the FRIEND as to stay over - what a bunch of crock). I told my DH - my default answer for anything not first discussed individually with me is no. Oh well, now I just think of them as my two tenants...

The kids sit in their rooms and don't say anything? Very strange, esp at that age. Would DH agree to family outings? They have to come? When I come up with a suggestion -my tenants usually jump at it! (we went and watched meteor shower one night, went to a special ice cream place one time, I keep trying to think of inexpensive things we can do together...)

Make sure you have your space in your house too though. That is one thing I have done. I have a spot where I love to read, and when I am there I feel comfortable, regardless of what is going on. It is a spot that reminds me of the home I grew up in. Sometimes it helps me reset and try to, once again, bring everyone together.

regroup - you are not alone. Hang in there.

ittakestwo's picture

Submitted by ittakestwo on Fri, 08/31/2007 - 10:39am

OMG... you crack me up!!!

It is what it is...

luvdagirl's picture

Submitted by luvdagirl on Sat, 09/01/2007 - 11:09am

I swore I felt like screaming all the time cause she wasn't even trying to be part of our family- we much later found out she was a little depressed from all the drama that surrounded her life but before that we started to force her to come with us to do stuff, fun stuff, like shopping(even if it was just one top or outfit it made her spend time with us) and going to the movies but stopping for dinner too and that stuff- she wasn't always thrilled by any means but the more time she saw the rest of us having fun, making jokes and being a family the more I think she realized she wanted it.
These kids are in a really hard place,I would've fought tooth and nail if I had to face the idea that my BM was selfish and intentionally hurting my relationship with my dad just to make herself feel better- nobody wants to know their parents aren't looking out for them-I see why my SD was struggling it couldn't be easy but she did get through it and is more honest about the people around her than I think most adults are capable of being.

There is no reaon where logic does not exist