BM pissing on her territory again...
So, I know many here are not fans of FB. That's cool, but I am.
DH's kids have both extended friendship with me there. I am no too ignorant to realize that BM is likely viewing my page through theirs. I have my information secure...my friends list is hidden. My family is hidden. My work & contact information is hidden, as is most all of my other information she doesn't need to see.
Anyway, I can't remember if I blogged about it or just commented somewhere about my activity on their pages. I have made a point not to communicate with them much through FB. I posted a comment on SS's wall right after we became "friends" & I have commented on a few of SD's photos. I have made a point to steer clear of BM's comments. I commented on one of SD's pics right after we because "friends". My comment was, "You're beautiful! :)". A few weeks later she posted more pics. I "liked" one & commented on one. My comment was, "This is my favorite!".
The next day I signed in & BM had commented on both of those. On the one I "liked" her comment was, "You're get more & more beautiful every day baby girl. You take after your mom. Thank GOD!" On the one I commented, "This is my favorite" on, she posted, "She takes after her mama".
I didn't post anything after those. A few weeks later, SD posted, "April rains bring May flowers". I "liked" it. BM immediately spots it & replies with, "Awww. I have taught my baby girl well with her words". (I believe I posted about that one becuase the amount of irony in that statement was enormous.)
About 2 hours ago SD posted something about 2 of their puppies being sick & they are worried about them dying. BM posted something about needing IV needles so she could give them fluids (oy vey). So, rather than comment on her wall post I sent SD a PM that said, "We are praying for your puppies. I hope they'll be okay."
Oddly about 20 minutes ago, BM posted on SD's first pic I ever commented on (not sure how she missed it in her first stalkish round). My comment was, "You're beautiful! :)". BM just posted, "She takes after me".
SERIOUSLY??? Now, I know better than to reply with anything. When I told DH about it he said, "Honey, the kids chose to friend you. Don't not post to them because of BM." My thing is, the kids & everyone else they're friends with have to read through all of the self-centered crap BM posts in reply to ME. It's SD's page! I am commenting to SD & BM is replying to me all over it!
She's like a f***ing dog following me all over SD's page pissing on anything I leave for SD to mark her territory!
Honestly, SD is a mini-DH, but even that is not the main point. Even if she did take after BM, why would BM need to post it everywhere??? All it takes is someone looking at pictures of the 3 of them to see for themselves. Repeating it over & over isn't going to change anything.
DH keeps telling me not to let her "bully" me. He keeps encouraging me & letting me know that he doesn't want me to feel like I have to keep quiet if I feel like she's trying to push me around.
My thought is, it's FB. But, I see where he is coming from in that her pushy ways have made me shy away from communicating & participating with his kids.
So, where is the line between me "taking the high road" & allowing her to "bully" me? I don't just mean on FB. Clearly, it can easily breed trouble. She's the same way in coversation, though. She pretty much says her piece & I pretty much just take it to avoid creating more trouble.
- stormabruin's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I realize that discussing it
I realize that discussing it here will not change what happens on FB, but it gives me an opportunity to express my feelings about what's happening. That's all I expected from posting this.
I've come to expect nothing but aggravation from BM, but it will come regardless of whether or not I "like" a few pics on FB. DH & I have struggled & suffered for many years to hold onto what few threads of a relationship we have with his kids. They both extended the FB friendships to me & I feel that if they want that enough to take action, I will be there. That relationship with them is far more important to me than keeping BM from getting upset.
I just think it's incredibly disrepsectful, toward the kids, for BM to be "stalking" me on their pages & trying to cover me with her scent. Everything she posts behind me is to give credit to herself, & it leaves a bunch of unnecessary crap for the kids & the rest of their friends to have to muddle through to get to the meat of SD's page.
That's why once I realized what BM was doing, I backed off. I don't want the kids pages to become another place for BM to spread her ill feelings. She has her own page for that.
This ^^^ is what I have done
This ^^^ is what I have done also.
just block her and you wont see what she comments and she wont see what you comment but SD will
I like facebook also for keeping in touch with close friends and family that dont live so close.
I have less than 40 "friends" and most of them are family out of state.
I have locked down my page and it works so much better to keep me at peace.....
Think this ladies are right
Think this ladies are right if you just block the BM you can carry on communicating with your SD on FB and she want get to see it and therfore won't be able to be a b***h. x x
You are giving her to much
You are giving her to much power. You keep opening the door for her to take jabs at you. Take back the power - shut the door- stop posting on SD's page. I don't get the bullying comment. She isn't bullying you. To be honest, I don't think she posted anything worth getting upset over.
DH & I were sending her
DH & I were sending her emails for quite awhile & never got a single reply. I mentioned it to her after she added me to her FB & she said she never checks her email.
After I saw the comment BM made yesterday on the pic I commented on (back in March) I did send SD a PM about the puppies, & she sent one back to thank me for thinking of her & keeping them in our prayers.
DH keeps telling me that I don't have to back down...that I shouldn't let her determine whether or not I am active on their pages. I don't want them to feel like I'm scared of her & I don't want them to see my pulling back as me running away or letting her control me.
I'm not gonna lie. I am fairly laid back & I don't always take up for myself when I probably should. I am, & have always been, an easy target for a bully. In our first several years of knowing each other, BM picked up on it. She has gotten under my skin more times than I'll ever let her know & having seen what "laying down" or what we thought was "taking the high road" has gotten us with her, I don't want to give her the idea that she has broken me down.
With everything considered, the piddly crap on FB is minor. I guess with everything else in the mix, I want to be sure I'm standing my ground & not running away.
Haha my FDH ex and I are
Haha my FDH ex and I are actually 'friends' on FB... And she does the exact same thing if I or FDH ever put any pics up of SD, I think its funny and I don't really mind when she puts things like how SD looks like her etc... Like seriously of course she's going to look like her mum! LOL
I wouldnt let it get to you too much
It's not even that she
It's not even that she comments on the stuff I post that bothers me. It's the fact that she's making everything I post to SD & about SD about herself. Everything is always about BM & her need for praise, be it for what she looks like or for "teaching her baby well with her words". If she really had taught her baby well with her words, she'd know that statement alone isn't using her own words correctly. She'd also know that the phrase is "April showers bring May flowers" rather than "April rains bring May flowers". I know that that much is petty & it shouldn't bother me, but it does. What bothers me most, though, is that she turns everything between me & SD into something about her.
Her need to be noticed & credited for everything about her children irks the shit outta me. SD is a replica of DH. I don't care that BM wants to say she looks like her, but on every freaking picture??? If BM wants to take credit for "teaching her baby well with her words", have at it!
What bothers me is that she does it all over EVERYTHING...the very same way our male dog chases a leaf across the field, afraid it's one he hasn't pissed on yet. I wish she'd teach her baby well with a J.O.B. or M.O.D.E.S.T.Y. You know...things that freaking matter!
LOL! Yea that would be
LOL! Yea that would be frustrating! Just picture her as a dog marking her territory when she posts shit ;p maybe it might be beat to block her? Then at least you don't have to see it? She is definitely only doing it to erk you. Some people never get over the fact that their son or daughter can be close to another person.
If it were me I'd just laugh at her or if it wa really getting to me block her - then you can still comment or post on whatever you like & she won't be able to sniff it out
Like I said, the posts I made
Like I said, the posts I made on her pics & her wall were not recent. It just happened that BM discovered one she hadn't yet marked, & she did so yesterday.
Also, I mentioned that I've come to expect nothing but aggravation from BM. If it doesn't come through FB, it will come somewhere else. I don't expect anything different. I will say I'm bewildered by the fact that while insisting on hogging the spotlight it seems it doesn't occur to her that she's drawing the attention to her childish behavior as well as what she feels is her glory.
It just helped to vent my frustration.
Ahhhh...the FB crap lol-I
Ahhhh...the FB crap lol-I will never have BM as a friend for sure...BUT I did try to check her profile out of curiosity-as she has mine..
WELL-lo and behold she made it temporarily public...why? Because apparently her and her latest lesbian lover broke it off...seems there was AGAIN violence involved.
Pretty much every relationship w/girls she's been with have involved serious violence-much of which the SD can witness. THis is insane!!!
I mean the funny thing is over a 2yr span the status change from 'single-complicated-relationship-single-complicated' had to be at least 20 times. AND she introduces these people to the SD even after a couple days-then she's in LOVE w/in 2 weeks then a big dramatic fight. It's nuts. No wonder the kid is so fucked up...then on her page her bio said somethign about how she had raised this sensitive, driven, funny, caring girl and how she had done somethign right and I almost puked-.
Ok-enough stalking for me no reason to go back to her muck-I swear she should be on Jerry Springer
I totally know what you're
I totally know what you're going through...
My husband has a son - and the BM posts pictures up and comments about how "if he acts like daddy i'll whoop his ass"
It blows my mind what these women do for attention....
And for some reason she took the time to friend all of my husbands family (most she's never even met) and continually seems to stalk them because she comment on anything they post - especially if i've liked or commented on it.
The one that got me the most was my husband commented back and forth on a status his mom posted and the BM went through and liked everything my husband said. She drives me NUTS. Get a LIFE!
Thank you! It kills me,
Thank you!
It kills me, sometimes, to not react. But that control has proven to work in our favor (though it has been slow going), & THAT is what I have to remind myself of every time she pushes.
I really appreciate your support.
She's the one reacting. I'd
She's the one reacting. I'd keep posting, because she is so stupid it's funny! Anyone with a brain would see right through it. Keep giving her rope. }:) }:)
Block BM and you won't see
Block BM and you won't see her posts at all. I did that. But I don't post on skids walls. I turned their posts off so I don't see them and I turned my wall off so they can't see it.