Sh*tty Stick take on things - Not rainbows and lollipops, but no excuses either..
Ok ladies ... I gotta ask... and you guys can say what you think either way.
I know we feel put upon... by jobs, and kids, and husbands reacting to kids. But, are we really, when it gets right down to the nitty gritty... are we all that different and put upon than others?
Guilty Parent? Yeah, the dad may be a guilty parent to his own kid. But does that mean he wouldn't be a guilty parent to your a bio child between the two of you? I know of many situations where the mother is the disciplinarian and the father is the "good time daddy!!" And those are not ever divorced, married for a long time couples. My mom and dad being one of them!!!
Sick kids and the different ways parent deals with it. My father is the most loving man I have ever met. He literally saves old clothes "in case he runs into someone on the street that needs them". Yet... he doesn't have a lot of tolerance for illness, or at least succumbing to illness. When I was little with life threatening asthma attacks (I have been hopsitalized), my mom would "coddle" and comfort me.. My dad would comfort me, but never let me wallow in fear. It was just an obstacle to get through. Neither of them got angry with the way the other handled it. They did it together, but different.
Jobs and other situations... What about the people that get married and then a year into their marriage, the husband or wife is struck with cancer, and the bills mount up due to not enough insurance. It's tough, and it's not what they signed up for. Sure, we know when we are older, we will deal with that. But there are people that deal with it immediately.
And what about the couples who deal with a job opportunity that isn't right for the whole family? The father wants to take the job, the mom might be then left to do more work, and the kids may be uprooted. But they deal with it as a family. Not as "me vs. you" Does that make sense? They end up making the decision as one best for the family... more money, better schools, etc. A short term sacrifice by one or the other parent to get the long term goal of stability.
What about the people who lose their jobs right after they get married? My DH lost his job the week after we got home from our honeymoon.
What about the people who have meddling and troublesome bio children, in-laws and siblings? The kind of siblings that embarrass the family, or steal for drugs. The children where the parents have a different attitude on how to parent. Or even if they parent the same, the kid turns out to what they are by virtue of their own brain and genetics (Jeffrey Dahmer?!) What about the in-laws, where the mom thinks her son can do no wrong, or the father in law who spoiled his daughter so much the new husband has to deal with the mess the fil created?? That's stuff you sometimes don't know of until you get married.
I know that many times we don't marry into these situations fully knowing what we will end up with. But isn't that true of every marriage?
And I truly agree that being a step parent one of the hardest things I have ever done.
I don't really have a point, except that maybe step-life isn't that different from other life. And I think we could all benefit by taking our step parent goggles off once in a while.
End of soap box... Not holier than thou... Just throwing out a thought...