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Divorce is imminent

Steppy MN2's picture

So my DH has been threatening me on and off with divorce for a year. Recently we tried some counseling but that hasn't helped so I found a new counselor that I thought could help. Yesterday DH agreed to go. Then this a.m., before I left for work, he tells me "I think I'm going to go thru with the divorce".
I told him go ahead. I am so tired of him trying to manipulate me into doing what he wants me to do. I just can't take it anymore.
I have to go on a business trip tomorrow and will come home late Friday night. I told him he and skids need to not be there when I get home. He pays some of the bills but it's MY HOUSE!!
Just had to tell someone.............

Comments

Jsmom's picture

Sorry it came down to this. But, sometimes you just have to accept defeat and move on. Take back your house and make sure to protect yourself financially. Make sure you have all your personal documents locked up and anything else of value before you leave. You never know.

Steppy MN2's picture

Thanks, I can use all the support I can get right now.
Fortunately, I was smart enough to insist on a pre-nup before we got married. He wasn't happy about it then and I see why now.

Steppy MN2's picture

Thanks. It never bothered them to inconvenience me so I guess maybe the worm has turned.

Steppy MN2's picture

It's hard but I do need to get off this emotional roller coaster. Thanks for the thoughts.

Gabriels Mom's picture

I'm so sorry you are going through this...

Threats of divorce really piss me off.

I will say DH did that to me when we first got married. He would threaten divorce every time we got into a fight. One day I said okay and went upstairs and started packing. He asked me what I was doing I told him that he has said that to me repeatedly so clearly he wants one so I'm going to give it to him. He said that's not what he wanted, I kept packing. He got upset and told me he really really didn't want me to go. So I told him to stop being a child. Just because we argue doesn't mean we should get a divorce if he says it again he won't be able to take it back. He's never said it again.

Willow2010's picture

Everyone suggests prenups on here. In Missouri a prenup does not hold water. The judge has the ultimate decision. I contacted an attorney about a prenup and she told me NOT to attempt
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I actually have a friend in Missouri and she had an iron clad pre nup that went great in court when she divorced. I think you got really bad advice from that attorney!!

thinkthrice's picture

Definitely remove your valuables and important papers as they are now targets. I keep everything at work just in case.

Steppy MN2's picture

Thanks everyone. You have all given me strength to deal with this.
THe pre-nup is signed by my soon to be exDH and he had an attorney look it over for him before he signed. I think it's ironclad and I made sure we kept things very seperated from the day he moved in.

IslandGal's picture

I'm so sorry thing's didn't work out for you - but I'm happy that you're focusing on your future and taking steps to be free.

Just think of being free.. being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Being able to go whereever you want..ahhh.!! bliss!!

misSTEP's picture

I hope that you file on him before he gets a chance to file on you. Even if you want to stay together, is it worth it to have someone so NOT committed to your marriage that he throws the D card so often?

Steppy MN2's picture

He is in the process of moving out this week so it's been tough.
You're right. I thought about that the other day and his level of commitment if he kept throwing out the D word everytime he didn't get his way or I talked about how I felt about an issue. And it seems to me he's given up too easily but I have to think of it as his choice to do so. It takes two to make a marriage work and he definitely thought everything should work his way.
He says he doesn't know what he will do about the marriage but I'm sure he will file shortly and that's okay. Besides, if he files first he will have the larger attorney bill.
I dated him six years before we got married. I thought I knew him. Guess ya never know.
Thanks for the support.