So this is somewhat related to my previous post today...

It drives me crazy how much you have to walk on eggshells around BM just to keep the peace. I asked her if she had new jeans for the kids, or I'd go buy some for our family pics. She said they have new ones they can wear. I asked if they had brown shoes. She said yes, SD6 does, no, SS4 doesn't. It was pretty clear that I was willing to buy them what they needed. So I bought SS4 some shoes to wear for our pic (not even new ones, second hand ones).

We had to schedule the pics on BM's weekend, which she agreed to before we made the plans. We offered to take the kids overnight on Friday night, and bring them to her on Saturday by noon but she refused that. Instead we agreed to pick them up at 10, bring them to our house to get ready. All BM had to supply was brown shoes for SD6 and their jeans.

Friday before pics, I texted BM for SD6's shoe size because DH's mom was asking for Xmas (seems unrelated but I'll get there later). I thought about also reminding BM that we needed their jeans for the pictures, but then thought, No, since I TOLD her I'd buy some if they had none, then she would remember that part. Right? I didn't want to seem like I was nagging her about stuff that we'd already covered. I was letting go a little of that control factor all of us moms like to have.

Saturday morning, we let BM know we were running about a half hour late, and we'd just have the kids put their clothes on at her house. On our way to get the kids DH calls BM and says "Are they in their jeans?" BM FLIPPED OUT that she didn't know they had to be in their jeans, and that we told her that they were getting ready at our house, etc etc. THEN she goes "And you're making me wait a half hour for them when you said you'd be here at ten? I could have done something last night with a friend but I stayed home with the kids so that I could have them ready for you." (What BS!!! We ASKED if we could have them the night before and she refused! UGH!) ---- and now that I think about it, this is probably the reason why she made me wait over an hour last Sunday for her to pick up SS4. What a piece of work.

Then we get there and I ask SD6 where her brown shoes are, and SD6 kind of pouts that the only ones she has are too small on her and hurt her feet. SD says to me, "Why didn't you buy ME new shoes like you bought for Brother?" and I politely said while BM was standing right there, "Your mother told me you had brown shoes and your brother did not. If I knew they didn't fit you, yes, I would have gotten you some. But I did not know." BM was just quiet while SD said to her all matter of factly, "Mom you should have known these shoes are old!"

We get in the car and BM texts DH right away -- "SteppingUp asked me for Daughter's shoe size YESTERDAY. WTF?" -- Mind you, she just can't say it while I'm standing there? She could have nonchalantly said "I figured that's what you were asking for yesterday" or something... but no she gets all pissed off about it.

She seriously only reads what she wants to read when it's an email...only hears what she wants to hear when it's a phone call...she's impossible to communicate via text... UGH!!

I hate that I THOUGHT about reminding her about everything but then how I decided not to...I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.