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Pick ups

Stepmommommy's picture

Since my SD5 was 5 months old, my husband and I have been doing all the driving to pick up and drop off my SD5. This constituted for over 300 miles each week. As of January 1, a new court order has been put in that we have week days and SD's mother has every other weekend and SHE has to do pick ups when it's her turn with SD5. Well, 3rd weekend of the year is coming up and BM just texted saying she will "let" SD5 stay for another weekend so she can get "used to" living in our city majority. (It's been 50/50 for over 4 years now so I don't know what she is talking about).
Anyway, SD5 doesn't seem to mind. She just wants to know if her mom is coming for sure or not so she can make plans with her best friend.

Comments

Aeron's picture

If OP and her DH have 5 of 7 days, then they are probably now considered the CPs. If BM is the NCP now, then you can't force her or hold her in contempt for not taking her visitation. CPs are obligated to make the child available, NCP is not obligated to pick the child up.

Aeron's picture

I read it as it was 50/50 for 4 years and now as on Jan 1 there's a new order, moving to weekday/weekend split. Maybe it still at 50/50 but the 5/2 split makes it seem unlikely to me.

Stepmommommy's picture

It was 50/50 but now we are CP and she's NCP getting weekends from Friday after school to Sunday 3pm.

Tuff Noogies's picture

then yup, you must make her available at the set time, but she has no obligation to exercise her visitation.

Stepmommommy's picture

Lmao!!! She does already view me as her mom. But her mom is spoken about very positively by us.

Stepmommommy's picture

We can't really force her to come get her daughter except going back to court which we are already thousands in debt from fighting for majority recently.

Maxwell09's picture

We have been doing this since SS4 for almost 2.5 years now and its a pretty good arrangement (limits the opportunity for PAS, sets up routines and boundaries for skid). In our case BM doesn't want the responsibility of being a mom but she wants to be the "cool" mom. This gives her the best excuse and the best opportunity to be Disney Mom. It sucks sometimes when DH has some kind of family gathering that SS should be able to come to but BM doesn't share so with my situation in mind, I tell you to just roll with it! Sadly enough, SS's mom causes enough strife that I would have loved for her to do what your skid's BM did and just make her way out. That's not going to happen for me but I think you should take advantage of your situation. Sure you're on "mom" duty more than you're suppose to but like the others have said, you can't make her take her time and the alternative would be to tell BM to come get her child for her time and then cause problems (and never get her on the weekends you need her because you made a big deal out of BM getting her weekends now). To each his own I guess, but I wouldn't rock the boat; just document all her misses.

Stepmommommy's picture

Don't get me wrong, I love having my SD here for so long (shocker I know). It just baffles me that this woman fought so hard for full custody just to end up not even picking up her daughter.
If you saw in my previous posts, SD5 is already like a daughter to me.

Stepmommommy's picture

Not at all. She's a big Facebook mom. I'm sure she will pick up her daughter eventually when friends start catching on that she's not the amazing mom she shows on media. It was put in the court order that it will go back to 50/50 whenever she moves into our town (she told the judge she would so she won't lose her daughter. Judge said fine but father gets majority until you do so. Doesn't look like it's going to happen but who knows.

Stepmommommy's picture

Plus she's a bitter BM. She tries to make our lives as miserable as much as she can. If he asks her for that she would without a doubt say no just to hurt him.