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SS Playing the Guilt GAME

stepmomblue's picture

Ok everyone my SS is playing the guilt game on my husband and now things are getting worse between us. My SS is doing the "oh I"m so sorry for breaking you up it's all my fault I'll work on getting better but I'm sick and you have to just give me time." OMG that is such a load of crap he is a compulsive lier and has pulled this one before. My husband is pulling back from us saying my SS is telling him that he feels abandoned by me just like his mother did it too him. My husband almost agrees with him to some extent and that really pisses me off because the SS therapist said thats his effort to control our relationship to suite his needs and only have his dad in his life and has admitted that he doesn't want me around because his dad makes him go by the rules when I'm in the picture. There has been some really big arguements lately about this whole guilt trip crap and the fact that my SS wants to control his fathers life so he doesn't have a life out side of only being with his son. I"m so tired of this that my nerves are becoming really frail. I just want to sometime grab my husband and shake him up so he realizes that his son is not the parent he is. My husbands guilt is so bad at this point I don't even want to talk to him about my SS at all. We went on a date this weekend for dinner and a movie it went really great until I found out that he snuck our of the house after my SS who is 13 year old went to bed for the night so he would throw a fit for his father going out. No that is a load of crap, we can never go out because this 13 year old step son has a fit about us going with out him. My own bio son who is 5 years old thinks it's great that he had a sitter this weekend and I was going out with my husband. If my 5 year old can handle it then why not my 13 year old SS. I called my SS a big baby to his father and told him you have a life outside of being a parent we all do and there is nothing wrong with going out without your children. My husband was really stupid at that point and said it's because of my SS abandonment issues that he freaks out, I looked him straight in the face and said Oh No Honey it's because he is a controlling manipulating little shit and the therapist agrees on that point. Well to make a long story short the date ended and I went home really pissed off. We have an appointment next week to see a therapist about saving our marriage at least my husband is willing to go which has only taken a year for him to finally say ok so I guess thats a positive move on his behalf. I'm just so tired of all this termoil. If it weren't for my SS our realationship would be great infact the very few times we did get away from my SS with out him either throwing a fit or getting in trouble we had a wonderful loving time. Whats so wrong with wanting that all the time is it so bad to wish for this. Advice please. Thanks