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Disengaging in three, two, one . . .

stepmasochist's picture

I told FH to f@#$ off today.

It came about because he's off work today because he twisted his ankle. I asked him if he'd do some laundry and he told me "He'd think about it."
He said I've had a bug up my butt nagging him lately.
Which I have because he's been irresponsible. The weekend before last, I ended up spending a whole day doing his and his kids friggin' laundry - 12 effin' loads!!! While he was out fishing. And last weekend, he spent an entire weeks worth of our grocery budget to go camping.

I refuse. I quit. I'm going on strike. If he can't gimp his way over to the washing machine and do a load or two when i told him SS is almost out of long sleeve shirts, then screw 'em all. I mean, wtf, I work two jobs. I'm working 12 hours today. He's probably just going to sit around and watch movies and play video games.

I also told him, I'm tired of nagging him about our budget. He never stays within in it. I sacrifice all the time, when I'M not the one who has three kids to pay for and a gdamned albatross of a pickup that we're upside down on with the payments. He's going to have to drive it for 20 years to get out what we're putting into it.

So, I told him I'll pay a third of all the household bills (more than my fair share of the portion considering he's got three kids), and he's responsible for the rest. I told him do whatever the hell you want with your money, I'm sick of worrying about it. I'd like to retire someday, but I can't seem to get him on that path so I'll just separate the finances. At the rate he's going, he'll work his fingers to the bone straight into the grave.

I also told him I'm sick of trying to be a team when he doesn't put forth the effort. So, now he can worry about him or his kids having clean clothes, food to eat, a clean place to live and the bills paid and he can worry about schlepping them all over the place. I'm done.

Anyway, just thought I'd share.

Comments

Endora's picture

Hope you can stick with it (hard to do with stinky laundry, garbage and dishes all over-)

Hey-if you get fed up with it -put everything in big green garbage bags and everyone can sort it out!

You work too hard for this crap to be happening!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

stepmasochist's picture

He's not too bad about dishes and if the laundry stink gets to me I can stay at my cabin and refuse to come back until it's taken care of. It's a little primitive, but so is FH at times and I (mostly) put up with him.

Anonymous1's picture

After 2 1/2 years of arguing, I moved out. Stayed with a friend for 3 weeks.

I work full time, school was starting next week, and I couldn't handle it all anymore. I don't have 3 kids, he does. I would tell him that I'm tired of doing their laundry, just to have full hampers the next day. He didn't believe me, said that I must have missed some. I told him that I would wash and fold their clothes, and have them put it away. They would leave it on the floor, and then they're "dirty" again. Or the dog would pee on them. He didn't believe me. I would wash the same shirt every day, b/c it was "dirty". Same thing with getting help cleaning bathrooms, dishes, cooking. Everything. He refused to help.

First Week- I finally snapped, we got in to an awful fight, and I left. He was stuck doing dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning. EVERYTHING!! The first day, it wasn't too bad for him. The first week was EASY, he said. Then, it started.

Second Week- I would walk in to the house, and he'd be yelling at the boy that he had JUST done all his laundry last night, how is the hamper full again. Then he'd look in the girls room and see the clothes that he had just folded scattered around the floor. He'd pick them up, DOG PEE.

Third Week- I walked in after class to see the kids working on their fourth load of laundry. Seems that since they weren't appreciating the effort daddy put into giving them clean clothes, they can do their own loads. SCORE!!

So he learned his lessons: He, or they, will be in charge of the family laundry. They will eat what I cook, IF i ever choose to cook again, and not complain (another sotry). They will make sure that if either of us spends our free days cleaning the house, they will help to maintain it, or will be stuck mopping the floors on their hands and knees with a bucket of soapy water and a washcloth (another story).

It is wonderful being right.

groovetheory's picture

Gimp Gimp...I can just see it now lol. Yes, you have to do this because if you don't they will take advantage. So, do what you have to do to stay sane. Good for you!