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StepG's picture

So my last blog or 2 has been about the counseling that H, SS, and BM are attending and how H feels counselor is taking BM side and he is the only one participating.

Well BM goes in there and acts all high and mighty and perfect. Well of course this infuriates H and he wants to jump across the room and choke her but that is not the best course of action for obvious reasons. Well when he sees her being like this in addition to wanting to cause some physical pain he gets so upset and has so much to say that he does not know what to say or where to start so he shuts down.

So this weekend H and I brainstormed and made an outline of the things that H wants to cover. We talked about only pointing out the most serious of the numerous things that we have issues with. We have Goals, Issues, and Questions. Goals are typical such as SS to be comfortable around both parents, SS to have healthy relationship with both parents, and for H and BM to get along for SS sake. Issue we only listed one which covers a lot and that is BM allowing SS to disrepect her and H while with BM. Then questions! We asked questions such as Why do you think it not a good idea for SS to spend more time with me? Why do you only recognize me as SS dad when it comes to money or he is acting out? Why do you feel SS schooling and school life is none of my business? Why do you get angry/defensive when I try to communicate with you about SS? Why do you accuse me of trying to be perfect or act perfect when I try to do the best that I see fit for SS? Why do you not encourage and nurture a healthy relationship with SS and I? Why do you not follow through with things concerning SS? Why is it that all SS's problems are my fault? Now with each of those questions I listed bullet points of actual instances that support why we would ask that question. I then listed things H can provide for SS i.e. routine/structure, discipline, love, guidance

Then my favorite part - I printed out the article that has the 20 signs of Parental Alienation and I copy pasted each sign that SS fit and gave the actutal instance that we have seen this such as listening to conversation with other parent, tempting child in order to interfere with visitation, refusing or resisting school record and medical record access, giving children choices about visits, telling child reason for downfall of marriage, parent keeping secrets with child. I had acutal instances to support that we have seen all these things with SS.

I made a copy of the article and the outline for H, the counselor, and BM. Hopefully this will help H to cover all the things he wants. I think it shows H actually trying to get along and trying to force/ put BM on the spot for some of her actions that have caused so much of the problems.

What ya'll think will it show anything on H part? Also we go to court in Sept. Do you have to wait to go to court to request a GAL or can we call our lawyer and do that now?


BMJen's picture

Especially the PAS stuff. I bet it will make her that much more mad that you clearly had a hand in helping your DH get this stuff on paper. Wink

~all you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust...and sometimes a machine gun~

StepG's picture

you put it perfect BM rides around on a high Might I had it is a high horse she cannot support nor afford with her unemployed self crying poor pitiful that she is on the first stages of emergency unemployment. So not only is she getting child support but H, mine and all other TN taxpayers are contributing to her financial well being. I know the economy is bad but you are not even actively looking!