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The Entitield Generation

sandye21's picture

Just wanted to share an article with you. I am sure it will sound familiar to many of you.

http://momshomeroom.msn.com/articles/7/31541447/?WT.mc_id=msn

In my opinion, the article does not cover 'emotional' entitlement enough. My SD has to be smarter, more talented, more savy, more deserving, better at everything than anyone else or she goes ballistic - and this was created by her parents. As we've seen by some of the posts we've had lately, this entitlement attitude is very hard to change especially if skids are personally benefitting from it and are allowed to continue. It will always be someone else's fault why SD can not keep a job or a friend for more than 2 years. It will always be my fault that her parents divorced even though I had nothing to do with it. I almost feel sorry for my SD.

duct_tape's picture

The desire for instant gratification and the fact that it's been fulfilled with textiing and netflix, has fueled this generation with these entitlement issues. Jeez, I have to straighten my kids out on an hourly basis. I have a renter with nine kids. All homeschooled, no tv, limited internet, family shares one cell phone (for emergencies, outings) They have a thirteen yr old in 2nd yr college.
I envy the crap out of this family. A couple of months ago, I saw her at a walmart with all of them. One got out of line, really barely out of line. She froze, asked the oldest to take this kid to the car, and asked if anyone would like to join them? Man, she was so kind and tactful and fair, but amazingly brutal.

My kids bitch about their (new) horrible cell phone after about three days of using it. They don't get a response from me, but man what a bunch of spoiled kids. Just watch toddlers and tiarras. Thats gonna be a generation to look out for.

duct_tape's picture

Regarding your step daughter, I feel sorry for her too. She needs someone to depend on her, someone to look up to her. Then she would realize that the world doesn't revolve around just her. Giving to other people will suck the selfishness right out of her.

emotionaly beat up's picture

I was a single parent from the time my kids were 2, 6 and 8. I raised them on Government Benefits until and a cleaning job until the yougest was 16. Then I returned to full time work. They all had part time jobs from the age of 14, they all had to save up to buy their cars, they never, and I mean never had the latest at the time "NIKE" runners and there were school camps that I just could not afford to send them on. Long story short, we lived on the smell of an oily rag and outings etc., were to places that were either free or I could afford (very little) as the money that came into the home was used for rent, bills, food bare minimum of clothing, and most importantly education expenses.

I have a teacher, a cabinet maker and joiner, and a Human Resources Consultant. The oldest the teacher had to get a student loan to cover her University Education and she paid this back by herself when she began working.

My husband and I got together when my youngest would have been around 20 I think, and renting her own apartment. The other two were also living in their own homes. All of my kids moved out around 20 - 22 and into places by THEMSELVES, they were smart, independent young men and women by then and coped beautifully. Now in their 30's one has his home paid off, one has it almost paid off, and the third my eldest is halfway there but to be fair, she is 36 and stopped working about 4 years ago to have a family and is now expecting her 3rd child. So that slowed down overpaying the mortgage a bit. They all look after their own kids and the two daughters are currently stay at home mums, and can afford to be at this time because they learnt to SAVE when they were little, and that money really didn't grow on trees after all.

My husband was estranged from his children (similar ages to mine) when we met. Wish he had stayed that way. He told me how great they were, well, yes, they are great at riding the parental gravy train, but that's about all. None of them worked until they were in their 20's and then it was part time at Kentucky for one, and labouring for the other, the Precious Golden Child, the Princess of Darkness, well she went to school to study nursing, so that again makes her even more special if that could be possible, well she had all her education expenses paid for her, her cell phone bills paid and every other conceivable thing that could be paid for her was, she was completely dependent on daddy's wallet and he just paid it. His oldest two boys have no job qualifications or education to speak of despite completing high school (barely) and as I said did not work for years, well during their unemployed days, they drove new cars, had nice clothes, went out, had girlfriends, and a very nice social life, but no jobs. Daddy paid for it all, including registration, insurance and petrol for the new cars HE bought for them, and of course cell phones.

My kids, don't bug us, in fact help us in anyway possible. His kids, still want, want, want, want, want.

All these kids are in their 30s and none of his have ever lived alone. Never taken care of themselves and have no clue about manners, budgeting, saving, bill paying, cleaning, cooking or any other life skills, they have only trained in Gimme this, and Gimmie that, and their goal in life is to sit back and wait for daddy to die and get what they can, which they seem to think will be my house at best, daddy's retirement fund at worst. When he seperated from his ex, he handed over everything and lived off family for 3 months while he handed over those 3 months wages to his ex, the house and everything including cars were fully owned and he left her with no debt, despite this his youngest and most precious who failed a year at school for nursing, at the age of 20 decided she wanted 30% of his before tax wage for child support. Very nice family. Mum has been very good to them and considerate enough to die a couple of years ago, therefore leaving them the house - fully owned. Are they happy, are they satisfied getting the house that dad paid for as a benefit from their mother's death, no, they want more, they want their grandfather's money and house, ours, and the evil bitch from satins spawn even wants her boyfriends grandmother to die so she can get money from her house.

My kids grew up going without and discipline, his kids grew up going without all right, going without nothing. My kids still think they should make their own way in the world and be considerate of other people, his kids, what other people, there are no other people on the planet, that is why we can all die and give them money. Entitled generation, yep for sure, but as Sandye21 says, it is more than just material things they want, that also is not enough, they also feel entitled to daddy's full and undivided love, devotion, undivided attention, praise,and assistance at all times day or night,as in I know I am 30 something but can you drive me to the airport, can you drive me into the city, can you.......... along with the wallet.

sandye21's picture

EBU, I am just wondering, which do you think are happier your kids or skids? It seems like those who have ahd to work for what they have, appreciate it more.

TwinMom65's picture

WOW, sounds very similiar to my situation! My husbands children (now grown), are still nightmares, while my 3 adult children and 3 year old twins, are/were raised with rules boundries, discipline, and tough love. They are respectful, self-sufficent, and functional young adults. My stepsons are a horror show. One got kicked out of med-school for drug abuse, one passed away from drug abuse,and the youngest is on his way. I give up! I have a clear concsience, i did everything I could to prevent the inevitable. My heart goes out to my husband and the nightmare he is living, but he has not learned one thing from his mistakes. I won't let him do that to our twins, and he at least knows THAT!. But his boys sense of entitlement is disgusting. The 30 year old has never worked a DAY in his life!! Unbelievable!! But be proud of yourself for making good decisions, despite the adversity. It can be very hard to parent your own kids when your surrounded by a parent who has poor parenting skills.

sandye21's picture

redfizz, We have a lot in common. I went to therapy last year to learn how to deal with my Mom amd SD. The therapist confirmed they are narcissistic. Because I have had to deal with my Mom's narcissism for all of my life, it was more difficult to deal with SD. They both were only children which I've read are more prevelent to NPD. I have disengaged from SD and limited communication with Mom, such as weather, current events, etc.

hippiegirl's picture

My SS24 is the same way. It's like he thinks my DH should be his b!tch, because he divorced SS mother like a million years ago. It's pathetic. SS is not special or unique.

Superdad454's picture

What so many of these ENABLING PARENTS don't get is that deep down, our kids WANT use to give them rules and guidelines to live within. They WANT to be held accountable so they can enjoy the feeling of success and realize they are self sufficient.
Of course if you don't start doing that until they are over 18 your are a little late and you have to force them to learn some really tough lessons to correct it.
I look at it as, as parents, we are actually doing our children a DIS service by NOT forcing them to learn how to live on their own, it sets them up to fail and honestly NOT KNOW how to be productive, self sufficient ADULTS.

"The secret to being a good parent and raising good kids? You got to be willing to BEAT your kids!". Chris Rock
Of course "Beat" is metaphorical for tough love in general.

"My father loved us, but he wasn't IN love with us and I know he would have sacrificed one of us if it meant teaching the others a lesson for doing something tremendously stupid." Billy Gardell

emotionaly beat up's picture

Sandye21, Not a doubt in the world my kids are happier, they have lives of their own and I am a very important part of their lives BUT I am not the centre of their world anymore,they have families, children of their own and they appreciate all the things they worked so hard for. Now the other ones, well they appreciate nothing, so when they get something just like kids, they play with it for 5 minutes then they're bored and want something else. eg: SD was building (well BF was paying for it), a brand new 30 square home this was their first home mind you and she was getting all the bells and whistles, 3 months into building it and we were on site one day with BF and his father and BF's father was saying how nice the house would be SD says, well I (note not we I) won't live here forever I want to move to a better area..........she wasn't even in the house and she was already over it.

Mine are happy and appreciate what they have, and more importantly they can live independent adult lives without constantly looking around for mummy to fix thing, do something for them, give them something or pick them up and drive them somewhere. Mine are happier because they grew up. His are still impatient little kids expecting daddy to be there, do that and gimmie stuff Smile

emotionaly beat up's picture

I have said this before and I know it is true. If a mother was walking across the road carrying her baby in her arms, and this mother was using pedestrian lights and had right of way, if SD ran her over and killed both mother and child I can bet my life that SD's reaction to what she had done would be........Why was she walking across the road anyway, she should have seen that I was driving too fast to stop. She would then for a month or so till she thought we were all aware of how it really was the woman's fault, tell everyone how stupid this woman was for walking across the road with the green light carrying her baby and not noticing that SD was driving too fast to stop. Once we were (well she thought we were all convinced) she was right it was the mothers fault, she would move on, and she would forget all about it, because why should she lose any sleep over this stupid woman, it was her own fault that she and her baby were dead not SD's. I am seriously not joking here, this woman can spin this type of story and she believes it herself....she I believe is evil, because I believe she was born without a conscience.

Superdad454's picture

Check this website...

http://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a102.htm

You may be surprised at how similar some stories and actions are to what you are dealing with. It doesn't fix anything but sometimes it helps to understand HOW and WHY these people can treat others so horribly.

old-blue-eyes's picture

This newer generation especially the ones that you did not give birth to are give me give me or I will make your life miserable. Most don't even know the value of money or have any appreciation for what they get plus not even a thank you. (Spoiled BRATS), and where do they learn this from are their parents. Some people think the younger generation will suffer financially later in life - B.S.to that too. They need to get off their asses and move, work, help others who are less fortunate than they are and stop whining.
These runts get so called free entitlements for example: free safelink cell phones, food stamps medicaid and they work. What do you think they buy with their pay checks? booze, drugs and scratch of tickets. They don't want to prosper on their own that's way too hard for them. As far as dh's adult kid goes I already had bill collectors call our house for unpaid bills that his bio complex pycho daughter did not pay & passed it along to daddy. I worked for what I have, I never had a silver spoon in my mouth and for that I am grateful.
If these skids have it so bad let them go join the service and go to boot camp and learn discipline. They will never last a day...

Formally mad-in-silence\

emotionaly beat up's picture

Could not agree more they get too many hand outs and not enough kicks in the behind.

Here is Australia young people see maternity leave as a right not a privellage, and now they want paternity leave so both mum and dad can bond with baby. Nice, but who pays the bills while all that bonding is going on, oh! that's right the tax payer. They are constantly complaining about how much they pay for child care, it they forget to mention that they get 30-35% of that money back at tax time. They also get a $5,000 baby bonus, just for having a baby. We used to that because we wanted children, and then paid when their children finish all their innoculations. In my day we took our children to be vaccinated because we loved them and wanted to keep them safe, if you did not take them you were frowned upon, now they get paid to give them the full course, amazing. The benefits for families is pretty damn good, and it would probably not bother me so much if it wasn't for the fact that they are still complaining that it is hard to make ends meet. Damn straight it is hard to make ends meet, for everyone, especially for aged pensioners, but do they care, nope they are still wanting lower intrest rates (currently around 7-8% but when young our rates were 17-18%). We did it tough our parents did it tougher, and I cannot imagine how our grandparents coped, but the only generation to feel sorry for themselves is the handout generation.

Runninmom's picture

I was talking to my husband about this the other day. So do they wait around for somebody to die and get money then? So then they are 50-60 and just spent their whole lives waiting for money so THEN they can have some kind of life? How pathetic is that! Then after the money is gone they are back to nothing again. It is actually really sad when you think about it. They all think that "if only daddy or mommy did this or paid for that" and it never ends.

My husband sometimes feels bad for his 3 kids, says "I wish i had a ton of money, i could help them out" and i look at him like he is a bit loopy. I say "And then what?" He thinks if he "helped" it would somehow end. It never ends because it is never enough. They will always expect and want more. They do nothing with their lives, make bad decisions and then expect the clean up crew to come along and fix it (BTW: We are the clean up crew!)