OT How to support someone going through a divorce
I don't post much but I read a lot of the posts. My sister called me today and said she most likely will be filing for divorce in the next month or so. Some background. They have been married almost 8 years next month. She is the breadwinner and her soon to be ex-husband just left his job to start his own company. All I know is that they tried couples counseling and it did not work. She said he has a lot of issues that he does not know how to handle. There was no cheating or drugs involved. He is a great father even to her acknowledgment. She said she hopes one day they can learn to be friends for the children's sake.
She said she is going to contact a mediator when she returns from vacation to see about the next steps. I suggested speaking to a lawyer instead. Years ago I worked in family law so I did ask her if she thought she would owe him alimony since she makes more money now that he quit his job to start a new company. They both have/had high power jobs that they each have the earning potential of making well into the 6 figures. Her husband seems like a nice guy to me I honestly never got to know him too well but what I do know is that he loves his children and they love him. The kids are 3 and 6 years old. All she keeps saying is that she wants to do what is in the best interest of the chidlren and is taking it one day at a time.
She is very private so I don't think I will ever know the real reason why or full details of what went wrong in her marriage. She is bitter and mad at this time but that is to be expected. However, I want to support her to the best of my ability. It is hard for her to ask for help and I do not want to overstep. Right now she is very embarrassed and afraid to admit her marriage is over. When I mentioned I can come out on the weekend to keep her company she told me no she doesnt want me there. I understand but don't know what to do to help her through this difficult time. For now we promised to text every other day and call once a week. Its hard for her to talk as usually the kids are within earshot.
Those of you that went through a divorce what were some things your family and friends did to help you with the transition? I would love to take her out and spoil her with a day of pampering but it seems right now that is not what she wants. Is there anything I can do to help. I feel really helpless and my heart breaks that she is going through this.