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...do you favor one skid over another?

Step Up's picture

Submitted by Step Up on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 7:38am

SS18 is moving out in 2 weeks. I'm not happy that he's leaving, but ecstatic to see him make a bold decision in getting his future started. Parents always say that they don't have favorites, but I have to assume that step-parents definitely have their favorites.

Other than his mild annoyances, eating chips too loudly, eating everything in the refrigerator, not folding a towel the right way, he has been a dream of a skid. He's mild mannered and sweet like his father. He helps around the house without complaint. He deals with his crazy sister (SD17) and manages to let her crap roll off his shoulders.

I wish I could take a page from his book, but that's just a trait from his father's side of the family too. Ignorance isn't always bliss. LOL

SD17 learns he is moving (he didn't give notice to her or BM, which secretly I tee-hee, we've known about this possible decision for some time). Rather than wishing him the best - "what am I going to do without him?".

I'm sure that's because yes, he is her brother and she will miss him, but my first internal reaction is: what do you mean what are you going to do? Uhm, become more responsible? Quit using him for a taxi service? Quit acting up to him, antagonizing him, doing shitty things and then blaming him when you know you were the one that started it? Oh, wait, you'll start calling DH more asking for rides, you'll push more to drive our car (no, hell no, oh hell no). Sidenote: during the discussion of SS18 leaving, he announces "we need to help SD17 practice driving more". I said, that's BM's job... not in our new car. SS18's response: "how sad is it, she has a license and still has no clue how to drive, even mom is afraid to drive with her." In typical fashion, DH feels it all falls on him to make for what BM refuses to do. BM refuses to do A LOT of things for the skids because she knows DH will take care of it. Especially anything that has to do with $$$. (Why use child support for the necessities your children need? Let them go without until they complain to DH and he swoops in to save the day, rather than call her ass on it.)

The last 3 weeks where it's just been SS18, DH and myself... the house is tame, quiet, without drama. When she's there, it's nothing but tension, it's loud (with whatever attention seeking behavior she is exhibiting). When she's there I don't feel my house is a home. I would much rather be in my bedroom.

I really do favor SS18 over SD17... it's sad, but it's true.

Comments

Aislinn81's picture

Submitted by Aislinn81 on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 8:07am

I admit I have a preference. I try not to let it show too much around the stepkids, but I prefer my SD over my SS. Not because SS is terrible or anything, just because I'm not a fan of little boys (they thought my BD was a boy at first and I was terrified, I am hopeless when it comes to little boys, I wouldn't even babysit them when I was growing up).

I'll get back with you in the next few years when SD hits her serious teen years though...I may change my mind Smile

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 8:21am

i've only got 1 sd. i think if i had another, even if i couldn't stand that one either, it wouldn't be as bad as how i feel about sd. i can't imagine despising anyone else the way i do her.

ownedbypedro's picture

Submitted by ownedbypedro on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 8:33am

I have always favored my older step son over the younger one. They are grown now but I have felt this way since I first saw them at 12 and 14 years old.

The older one is well mannered, polite, good sense of humor, respectful, hard working, responsible, sensitive, caring, helpful, trustworthy, smart, etc. etc. I do NOT believe that dh is his real biological father - he is NOTHING like either of his parents.

The younger one is an entitled, manipulative, stupid, mannerless, mean, filthy, smelly, dirty, nasty, PIG and a total CHUCKLE HEAD with no scruples at all and he married someone just like him and they reproduced to create three beasts that are all just like the two of them. This one got ALL of bm's negative traits and ALL of (soon to be ex) dh's negative traits -and NOT ONE good one - I kid you not!!

thelaststraw's picture

Submitted by thelaststraw on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 8:44am

I'm pretty bad - I have favorites and I am 100% certain that it shows - and I DON'T CARE. I've even said it outright - SD14 and SS8 get me - listen, comply and you'll get pretty much whatever you want. Do the opposite, like SASS13, and you're hosed.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Submitted by Helena.Handbasket on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 10:17am

This is me exactly except SS is younger than SD. He's 13 and she's 16. He is way more responsible, less drama ridden, and more easy going than SD. He's definitely not an attention seeker

sammmx's picture

Submitted by sammmx on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 10:24am

I definitely favour SS2 but that's probably due to the fact that he lives with us and I actually have some say over how he's raised and what behaviour is not acceptable in our house. The two SS9s pretty much just do what they want, they don't really acknowledge me as a parental figure, maybe more like a friend or another sibling. :/

3familiesIn1's picture

Submitted by 3familiesIn1 on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 10:31am

Yes. I have no real issues with SD12. I still don't really like being alone with her, but I can tolerate it. She isn't a bad kid - she is just not mine - so I guess the normal SM stuff in general. Overall she tries to be like my bios best she can.

I don't like SS6 - at all. I used to say I just didn't like his behavior and how he was allowed to act because BM and DH don't parent him and he can do no wrong. But I have changed my mind over the last 4 years. Lack of training or not, SD is in the same household with him 24\7 and she doesn't act the way he does. So its him, his personality, his whatever - all him. I don't like him. I am not mean to him, just indifferent and I keep my distance - my mom argues that is mean - I call it sanity so I don't backhand him. There is nothing I like about him, he is mean spirited to the other 3 kids, he is mean to DH, he talks back, he screams at his father, he manipulates, he acts out so that he can have 100% attention always, he is rude, he is destructive, he never ever shows any remorse, he commits the same offenses over and over and over without caring. Even his artwork is irritating - today going through papers i found a sheet from school that said, draw a bully - where he proceeded to draw one stick figure shooting another stick figure who was covered in blood. The gun and bullet were very detailed, the people were stick figures. The kid scares me - i have as little to do with him as possible.

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 10:50am

>>>SD is in the same household with him 24\7 and she doesn't act the way he does. So its him, his personality, his whatever - all him.<<<

THIS! This is exactly why I don't blame anyone but SD27 for her awful behavior. Skids grew up in the same house with the same parents until their late teens. SS29 is wonderful. SD27 is horrible. It's just the way she is.