Under my skin...again
Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary, I got up this morning kissed my wife and wished her a happy anniversary, I was hoping that today we could have a good day, maybe do something together tonight, just the two of us and have a stress free day, apparantly not to be.....
As I was standing in the kitchen getting ready to go out the door to work, SS comes walking downstairs, lit cigarette in hand..., I have asked, threatened and pleaded with him to not walk through the house with a lit cigarette. There is a trail of burns in the carpet downstairs from when his bedroom was down there, you can actually follow them from his old bedroom to the stairs. Now his bedrooom is upstairs and I don't want the same thing happening to the hardwood floors up there.
I caved on allowing him to smoke in his bedroom, it seemed like a battle that I couldn't win so instead of turning it into WWIII I allowed it. I don't smoke, my BS is 8 so obviously he doesn't either, but everyone else in the house does, SS, SD, sponge, and my wife. It's almost impossible to get throught to them all how the smoking affects me and my BS, from the stinging eyes to the smell on my clothes etc..., everyone else seems to comply with the limitations, only smoking in thier bedrooms or the kitchen with the door cracked open, except for SS, he seems to think he doesn't have to follow any rules, so him and I constantly knock heads over it.
Anyway, SS and I got into a big argument this morning as I was going out the door, he says he can't see any burns on the carpet at all, and that all I ever do is bitch.
I am just so fed up with him treating me like something that is stuck to his shoe. I am taking over his $200 per month 4 wheeler payment so that he can use his money for school, I have spent hours doing the paperwork, phone calls, etc... all for him to be able to go to this tech school that he says is his dream, and I get no respect, consideration or acknowledgement from him at all...., I called home on my way to work and just totally vented on my wife, on all days this is the last thing that I wanted to do but I was supremely pissed off. I told her exactly what I have stated above and also said that I'm getting to the point where if he want's to break all the rules then he can do it somewhere else because I'm ready to throw his ass out the door, and I don't care if it screws up school for him or not. I've just had it. I am tired of busting my ass so that he can have what he wants when he give no consideration to what I want.
So, now I wonder, how will our anniversary be when I get home tonight?...., I thought that I could just bite my toungue and let things go until he leaves for school at the end of this month, but this morning just lit my fuse. This is like living with her ex in the same house as me, he acts just like his dad and I just cannot stand this kid. I'll be glad when he is gone, but then again, will he ever really be gone?
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Comments
What?????
How old is your smoking step son...? My take is if he is old enough to smoke he is old enough to have his own place. And I agree with you completely...I, personally, am a smoker and so is DH..But we never ever smoke in our house, in our cars, or around our children...The family should not be smoking in the house, especially with an 8 year old living there..I hope things work out and you have a good anniversary.
Like talking....
....to a brick wall. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. Trust me. I'm exshusted from this weekends 'fight'.
But tonight, put it aside. Do something nice for the two of you.
Happy Anniversary
I agree with Little Jo
you really should try to focus on your anniversary and do something really nice for the two of you. Tomorrow is another day and you guys can fight about ss tomorrow.
Happy anniversary!
Candice
Just a bit on the smoking...
Okay, so I'm definitly a smoker. I even smoke in the house. We try to keep it away from SS, but frankly, he's with us 4 days a month. Everyone in the house smokes, which brings me to my point:
When I was a kid, I always said I would never, ever smoke (didn't we all?). But as I got older, I always smelled like it, it was always in my face (always seems to follow the non-smokers), because my parents always smoked around me. In fact, they didn't know that I smoked for the longest time, and lots of other folks too, because I smelled like it whether it was me doing it or others doing it around me. In fact, this is why I started doing it in the first place. I stunk like it, I was suffering the adverse effects of it, and I wasn't even getting the "pleasure" of actually doing it. Granted, I was 12, and I wasn't thinking about the money it would cost later on, or the fact that I can barely go 2 hours without having to "step outside" in the cold, rain, whatever. Can I just say that there's nothing like a gal slaving away for a church fundraiser that has to take a cigarette break? It's embarrassing. I mean, I smoke, and I freak out when someone lights up while I'm still eating (which most people think is stuck up and hypocritical, but it's disgusting, as I'm sure you know). And believe me, I plan on quitting...it's just figuring out how to do it.
So anyway, the point is that your son being around them makes him significantly more likely to start doing it, and if he does, how will you know? He already smells like it...he may already have smoker's cough. By the time anyone realizes that he smells like it because he's doing it, he'll already be addicted (it only takes 2 weeks!). As for the leech...give him the boot. That's all I can tell you about that...what disrespect. I'll say it again, give him the boot.
Had a good night
We went out to a movie, had a couple hours alone, didn't discuss the kids or anything else discouraging. So we had a good time and got away for a while...., but then we had to come back to reality, we thought seriously about not coming back, just driving until we were far away, LOL...., but alass....we had to come back.
But that's hope, right?!
If after all you've been through you can still enjoy quiet time alone and fantasize about running away alone together, well, that's a good thing!
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
You will never have peace in your house...
...until all the adult children move out. This includes everyone over 18. If they are in school, you can help them out financially if you want, but they need to move out.
But you already knew this.
Good luck Steamed. I hope your marriage lasts until they move out. SS, SD, and Sponge.
Nellie