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I don't think i am doing the right

STACYT37's picture

Hi this this is my first posting and any feed back would be greatly appreciated. I have been married now for 6 years (my first marriage) and I have 4 SS. 2 live with us and 2 are out of the house. My problem is: The last weekend of March was our weekend with the 12 yearold SS, all was going well when we received a call from the oldest SS saying that the BM told him to call and tell us that we HAD BETTER find somewhere for the 12 to go the following week due to it being springbreak!!!! (It always pisses me off when she does this stuff) Well I sat down with the BD and we decided that the 12 year old SS could stay with us for the whole week and I would take him to work with me. Well, she was all happy with getting him gone for a full week. Well, here is where the crap starts; the very next day (Sunday) the BM and the 3 older SS are at a birthday dinner for her mother and the BM gets mad at the 18 year old SS and decides to RAM his car with her car, not just once but twice and with him standing next to it!!!! The oldest SS who is 20 came by that night and told us all about it. Well 2 days later we receive a phone call from the BM's mother telling us that the BM is in a Mental Ward at one of the hospitals and has been told to have no contact with any of her ex-husbands and her children!!!!! But she did send word that we are to take custody of the 12 yearold SS that she has physical custody of. So we had to go and take him out of the school he was in and enroll him here where we live (a different county). The BM was out of the hopital by Thursday and moved all of her things and moved in with her unknown boyfriend into a Motel!!!! But yet she wants us to still pay her child support!!! We received a phone call last week from the other school the 12 y/o SS was at and they told me he had missed 20 days of school and was also tardy 19 days!!!!! Now the BM's mother is calling us again and wanting us to pay more child support to her!!!! Um, excuse me, but I thought that child support was to support the child not the ex and her illegal B/F!!!!

Can't we get her charged with child abandonment or something??? I need some help here before i completly walk away...

Comments

goingcrazy's picture

First and foremost, get to court and fast because the BM still has the legal rights that the court ordered. For the sake of the children get sole custody. I know it is ALOT for you to take on. I did it too when my SD mom became strug out on Meth (again). The kids need counseling too and every moment that passes is too much. My SD has been in therapy for five months and we are finally starting to have a normal life. And most importantly, love those kids unconditionally because they are really gonna need you right now, even during the times that they are not showing it.

As for the support, until the court changes the orders, your husband is still liable to pay the lady. Stupid I know, but the same thing happened to my husband. He eventually got an order to be reimbursed, but that never happened. Stay strong and dtand by your husband. Good Luck

laughterandtears's picture

In our case, BM had and DH also had joint w/ her having physical. She called us one day and told us to come get them, so we did. We enrolled them in school in our county and CS stopped a few weeks later. When we went to court, the state had to reimburse us b/c we sent proof that the SS's were living w/ us. Also, as goingcrazy says, get into court, FAST. File for immediate tempory custody to stop her for the moment and then go for sole. It has been two yrs for us and I am about to adopt my SS's. It IS NOT EASY but remember that you CAN do it and you are a better person for it and those kids will be far better off. And please post here as often as you need, it has helped me tremendously.
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.