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OK how do you deal........

snoopyinoz's picture

with the STUPID phase! you can tell SD10 something SIMPLE like "do NOT be doing X" and she will 5 minuets later get in trouble for doing it, and say "I Didn't know i wasn't suposed to" Uh yeah WTF ever. I am sick of repeating myself and have gotten to the point that I tell her once, ONCE if she dont pay attention, not my problem! And, to top it off, she is doing things that her 6 yo sister KNOWS she shouldnt be doing WTF REALLY? She has also gotten to the attitude of "certian rules don't apply to ME" again WTF ever. the rules do NOT change from day to day. DH and I have gone so far as to write the house rules out and hang them on the fridge and she STILL plays the "I Dint know" BS. Going nuts here, any ideas? before I loose my mind completly

Comments

MamaBecky's picture

At her age you can have her write the rule that she has broken 500 times as a sentence. "I will not...." That will help her remember! She will never say she forgot that rule again.

Ask your DH if this is something he is willing to do, and if it is next time have him do it. Once he does it then it should be ok for you to do it...and it wont be just because you are an evil SM it will be because that is the punishment dad has come up with.

If however your DH cant stomach the idea of punishing his child (ugh) then you may have a bigger problem on your hands.

snoopyinoz's picture

No i dont have kids of my own, but I do remember being a kid, and I NEVER tried pulling crap like that more than once, with her it is ongoing, and mamabecky, we have been there, done that, still didnt sink into her head. (DH even went so far as to have her re write 1\2 of it because it wasn't readable) Most of the rules were in place before I came into the picture, (from DH, BM had NO rules, and basically let the kids do whatever they wanted, as long as they didn't 'interefere' with what SHE was doing.) and DH and I have agreed on the rules. Maybe I'm just anal........

roseslady2's picture

I finally had to say to SS10 "I will tell you once, you'll get one warning, after the warning, if you do it again, there will be consequences". We always start with a fairly mild consequence the first time, but they get progressively worse. One time, i called his friend's parents who had planned on their DS coming to stay the night and tell them that their DS couldn't come because SS10 did X. I do think it's fairly normal, but I don't have my own kids, so I know the feeling of "AAAHH!!! wHEN DOES IT STOP!!??" BPsare able to overlook this strange phenomenon. I'm finding that the key is consistancy and DH and me working together.

Auteur's picture

Exactly! This is what happens when stupidity isn't nipped in the bud in TODDLERHOOD, never mind at 10, 15, 20, 25 and it goes on and on!!

What ever happened to "CUT IT OUT!!!"

buttercookie's picture

I haven't figured it out yet. SS is only 20 so he's not expected to act like an adult yet by hubby. Ya know he's only 20. LOL I just blocked him on all forms of communications esp since hubby stopped buying his love. The stupid phase doesn't end if the bios don't end it or if they encourage their kids age regressing, yeah it happens a lot.

Auteur's picture

I've had children AND i remember being a kid. NO WAY would such behaviour have EVER been tolerated either by my parents or myself.

"They're just kids" doesn't wash with me or a whole lot of others who aren't guilty parents!!

snoopyinoz's picture

Oh DH and I found a "cure" to the "I don't know" line every time its used as an answer to a question that they ought to know the answer to, they automaticaly LOOSE 20 minuets of their play time no questions asked, and it stopped that one cold

Auteur's picture

Good for you and DH! How refreshing it is to hear of bios who actually PARENT and not become ENSLAVED to their own children!!! Keep up the good work!

snoopyinoz's picture

Thanks! DH is SUPER great at dicipline, he will set things out and stick too them and when something DOES change, (IE different consequence, rule change) we will ALL sit down and go over it. JUST to make sure that it sinks in (Some rules are not subject to change, like no runing, chores, ect) the problem that we have had in the past is WHEN BM was "here" (I say "here", bc even when she WAS here she was in her own little world) the kids had NO rules, she would let them do whatever, whenever and where ever they felt like, then when DH would come home, HE would enforce the rules. The kids have tried that one with me, thinking they could get away with stuff, and found out pretty quick that unlike BM, I WILL enforce the rules just like DH