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Feeling petty

SMto3's picture

We're out having dinner and DH talks about a new electronic stroller that's out now. He says he wishes he was working so he could buy his grandson (5 months old) the stroller. In my head I'm thinking that maybe he should want to start working so he can do things for me and DD9, and then I feel bad for thinking that. 


PetSpoiler's picture

Don't.  Your daughter is still his responsibility.  His grandson is not.  His grandson's parents are responsible for him.  

thinkthrice's picture

PLUS no work ethic and no problem with letting OP and DD twist in the wind. 

What a keeper! /s

Another vote for not petty.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Stop thinking this in your head "In my head I'm thinking that maybe he should want to start working so he can do things for me and DD9" and tell him out loud.  And do not feel even remotely bad for saying it to him.  He needs a swift kick in the rear end to get moving.

ESMOD's picture

I think it's time to turn up the heat on that burner.

He is not working.  He is not contributing to your home.. you are supporting him and also paying for things like the funeral?

NO.. stop it.  I don't care if you personally can afford it.  It's time for him to understand what it truly means for him to live within his means.

Your open wallet needs to stop now.  Going out to eat?  can't afford it without you working DH.  Vacations? I can't afford to take us both on vacation without you working we can't do it.  The new "X" hobby item he likes?  can't do that.. you aren't working.  Premium cable TV so he can watch his shows.. can't do that.. you aren't workiing.  His favorite foods?  he can eat the basics.. ramen.. hot dogs. HE isn't working.

You will just have to take care of your own treats on your own time.. but he deserves none of it while he doesn't work and contribute.

SMto3's picture

Just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unfair. Also, he isn't working because he says he's waiting for us to return from a booked trip we have a in March to see family. While he's not working, he does the laundry, cleans, we sort of go half on the cooking, he takes DD to all of her after school activities, and my job requires me to drive to people's homes, so he drives me so that I don't have to look for parking. I have 2 people that I normally use to drive me around, I paid them 150 daily, but I haven't used them much since DH lost his job. I don't pay DH because I pay for everything else, plus using our car means I'm paying for gas (where with my drivers they pay for it), but I was considering paying him 500 every 2 weeks. Not sure that I want him to get comfortable though as I'd prefer for him to find something he's passionate about doing. 

AgedOut's picture

does he know he can put in for jobs and give a starting date so he can hit the ground running the moment you're back from the trip? 


Don't you dare start paying your unemployed husband to be your partner. 

He needs to work. He needs to step up as a husband and father and take some of the burden off you. But I think he's found something he's passionate about ... unemployment

Harry's picture

Walmart until he goes back to old job.  Also try McDonalds Burger King. Ect..

Rags's picture

Stop demonizing yourself. You are not being petty. 

The issue is your idiot deadbeat DH who is expanding his butt sniffing failed family progeny worship to the unfortunate spawn of his shit failed family children.

Do not just think it. Rub his nose in the stench of his crap with immediate verbal , in public if that is where he pulls this crap, confrontaion regarding his failed family baggage butt sniffing.