So the talk I had with SD last visit (detailed in last blog), seems to have backfired. DH went to pick her up & no one was home. DH found out from SIL that BM called her & spoke about SD not wanting to come here anymore, this is strange to me as SIL & BM have no relationship. BM went on to say that SD doesn't like school (grade 1)is getting in trouble at school and is not sleeping well....SIL got the impression that BM was trying to blame the visits with her father as the reason.

The child has been PAS'd out by BM & I don't think BM is even aware of what she has done. She herself was a victim of PAS as a child, so for her its normal I think. SD's issues will not go away by not seeing her father, I think they will get worse.

So here is where we are at, either DH goes to court to force his rights for visitation knowing that it will be a long battle & in the end the child will have been tormented & emotionally blackmailed by BM. The other option is to sit & wait hoping one day SD will want to come, being that the PAS should diminish IF BM no longer feel threatened.

The difficult part in this situation is that SD only started seeing her Father two years ago, she does not have the bond with him that most children do with the other parent. This puts DH at a huge disadvantage I think. I also believe BM wanted it that way, this is the only child she will ever have & she wants to be SD's everything.

It seems to me that no matter what path DH chooses the child will suffer, for the life of me I cant come up with a scenario that spares SD pain & suffering. It truly feels like a no win situation for her. Perhaps I am not seeing things clearly, I could be way off base but DH's rights come second to SD's over all well being. Don't get me wrong my initial reaction was anger at BM & wanting to protect DH's right to be a Father. Over the weekend I have been trying to remove myself from that role & view this from a unbiased perspective.

Any thoughts on this?