"Where's my dad?"

Response: "Somewhere on the property"

Why are you making the spaghetti that way?

Because that's the way you hate it and I want you to go hungry.

'where does daddy sleep' asked by then SD4, pumping me for bm to see if dso lived with me.
'that's none of your business, you are 4'

"What FUN will we be having?" When trying to "decide" whether or not to come to an entitlement training session, errr I mean "visitation."

Guilty Dad response: Well, hooooneeeeeey we'll trryyyyyy to go to the maaalllllll. . ."

My response (thinking): "We have dishes to wash, laundry to do, yard work. . ."

"Why can't we go to Mick and Donals for chicken mcnuggets?" (seven year old babytalk)
Guilty Daddy: "well hoooonneeeeeeey because we don't have much money right now to spend. . ."

My response (thinking) Because I SAID so.

"What kind of car IS this??? What year??" Asked by SS15 who had already ridden in my new sports car and didn't seem interested at all in what it was OR what year it was the FIRST time.

"Can I borrow 20 bucks?" (from OSS15)

answer "'Borrow', eh? and just how would you plan on paying it back?"

"Where's Daddy?"

answer "He went to shit and a hog ate 'im"

KIDDING on that one!!! *sigh* that would be a wasted response- it'd go way over his head

SD11, 4 at the time: Daddddyyyy..Why are you marrying HER? Why don't you marry MOMMMYYYYY!!?

DH: Because I love LaMare.

SD: But MOMMMMYYYYY loves YOUUUU DADDY! You need to marry MY MOMMYYYY!

DH: No, SD.

"What's THIS for?"

Holding up some item from the house that SD had rooted through without asking.

My skids seldom ASKED anything, they just used IMPERATIVE statements and TOLD guilty daddy what to do, how high to jump etc. When they tried that on me, I put them in their place (out of earshot of honey boo boo daddykins of course)

Most of their sentences started with "I'm gonna" or "I wanna"

SD asks "why do I have to change my pad before its full?"

I shook my head and said "ask your dad..." :sick:

SS: **knocks on our bedroom door** Dad wanna play catch?
DH: Not right now buddy, give me 20 minutes
SS: why not now
DH: because I'm gonna hang out with BSGoin for a little while first
ME: Make it 5 minutes, he will never last 20
SS: HUH????

I swear as I read this my son started nagging me.

"Mom what are you allergic to? What are you allergic to? What are you allergic to?"

Me,"Questions."

"Why can't we xyz I want to abc?"
"Because it's a momaracy not a democracy."
I use this on my own bios they usually say it before I do when the skids ask why when I say no.

Momma, why do you have more hair on your chin than Daddy?

Burns my ass every time they ask that in public!

'My Mommy does it this way...', 'My Mommy doesn't let us...', 'My Mommy say's...', 'My Mommy has this...'

DH to sd's 'Well this isn't Mommy's house, this is Daddy's house.'

Not much they can say to that

SS14 (when he was 12)- When I'm 13, will I be a teenager?
SS14 (a few months ago)- So, when your feet on the ottoman, does that mean they're higher than the floor?
SS14 (about a week ago)- WHy don't you trust me? I haven't lied in two days!

Sigh................