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My story...

Sierra01's picture

Where do I start? Ok Wel I met my partner at the start of 2009 wen I was nearly 19 and him nearly 25, and we became bf and gf about August of 2009. Then in Feb 2010, we got married (Islamically, no weddings n cakes n dresses cos we r not really in2 that). Now I knew he had kids (2 boys which r now 5 and 6) and I had met them and didn't mind them at all. But wen my husbands ex found out that he was married, she started saying that she can't handle the kids, money ect (mind u my husband was giving her alot of money for child support). So my husband after asking me if I minded, which I said I didn't as I didn't hav kids so I didn't know Wat to expect, he got the kids to move in wit us into a one bedroom flat. My husband than was put off work so we did it tuff for a bit, but we eventually got a bigger house (after bout 4 or 5 months). Dramas and dramas started, for example, she tried to buy buy buy for her kids love, rather than ever helping her son wit his homework and reading ect ( he is stil struggling until now because his mother Neva did his homework wit him, dropped him off at school late nearly EVERYDAY and put them in front of TV all day ect. Other issues that made me annoyed was wen she and my husband has an argument and she made false statements to the police and took him to court saying he was violent with her (my husbands lawyer actually laughed at her statement because it was so false!) other issue r her trying her HARDEST to flirt, dress up for ect my husband Everytime shed drop and pic the kids up (me and my husband are really religious so her tactics didn't work on my husband, but she kept tryin and trying). Other things that annoy me is that I put so much effort to cook for , clean, do their homework, drop and pic up from school on time, do sports, play wit ect whilst she dosnt have to. She dosnt get up in the morning to make the kids breakfast wen they r wit her every weekwend, (wen the eldest was three he was making his own breakfast), thy either watch tv, play their DS or wat Eva other game they have All day, she Neva gets the kids to brush their teeth, and she cooks them either noodles or eggs for dinner (I asked the kids so Wat does ur mum cook u and that is all that they could answer me). And they live off takeaway food too. Now she is not a drug addict or alcoholic ect, just a lazy mum. There is soo many more issues, and I dnt hav the time to list them all. I just needed to vent.

I'm getting the point that I'm doing so much that I think all this effort Shld go on my own kids. Wil having kids help my situation? I hope ppl hav advise for me... Just want to know if ppl hav been in a similar situation

Comments

SisterNeko's picture

I get what you are saying and I know what you going through - I am there myself. Honestly there is not RIGHT answer I think. For me I want to have my own kid because like you said you are already doing everything any ways with none of the rewards. Your opinion (legally) doesn't matter and you have to deal with BM. Your kid won't have that issue but having a baby won't make the drama go away.