First off, DH should be dealing with this.

Cut off liquids after dinner, make sure they pee before bed, and neither one should have to get up at night.  But if they do wet the bed, have them help strip the bed, wash the sheets and remake the bed.  They can help clean the couch too. This shouldn't be done in a mean way, just in a, "well, you made this mess, so let's clean it up". And reward them for any dry nights they have. 

Best way I got SD6 to stop wetting the bed (at 4) was making her help clean it up. She stripped down the bed, loaded any soiled clothes and bedding into the washer, helped put the washing detergent into the wash, then SHE got to scrub things up (I supervised of course). It made her realize she didn't want to clean it up. lo and behold. She was potty trained within a week and a half.

Prior to that, Psycho just let her wet herself and sit in it, and DH was just buying a never ending supply of pullups. She was old enough to be potty trained. So very little effort, a consequence (4 year olds understand the clenaup is gross, so your skids should have NO issue with this) and it's all better.

Have your DH do it though. Not your issue. However it definitely affects you. 

When SD would come for a visit, I knew she was going to pee in the bed EVERY night.  I got fed up with it because neither parent seemed to be to interested in stopping it.  

1. No liquids after 7PM not even a sip of water

2.  Pee before going to bed

3.  I woke up at 5 AM and made her get up to go pee.

4.  She cleaned up after herself, when she peed the bed.

Surprise after a few weeks, no more accidents.

YSS had this issue. Making him clean it himself was enough to get it to stop, as we'll as addressing fears he had in our new house. Apparently, the water heater crackled at night and freaked him out. Didn't matter that lights were on; the noise was enough to keep him in bed. Make sure there are no new noises that could be causing the fear.

If that doesn't work, take them to the doctor. If they can't find anything wrong, I support treating them like the toddlers they're behaving like. Back in Pull-Ups, no big kid toys or shows, certainly no video games, Velcro shoes, sippy cups, etc. PLUS make them clean it up on their own. They will eventually get tired of being treated like a baby and will figure it out themselves.

My SD7 still wets the bed if no one hears her calling out at night to walk her to the bathroom. Yeah... She needs to be walked to the bathroom, at 7 years old, to go pee at night. If she doesn't get a response, she just pisses the bed... It drives me nuts but DH doesn't do much about it other than go walk her to the bathroom if he hears her. 

I've put nightlights in the bathroom, hallway, and her bedroom. I've given her a little lantern to use. Nothing makes a difference because DH still goes if he hears her calling. He doesn't often hear her though because he sucks at waking up to kid noises. I'm up all night with my terrible sleeper 18-month-old so when I hear her, I ignore it because she needs to figure it out herself. 

So I have no tips, just solidarity. Kids who are infantized will act like babies as long as they're allowed. 

had to have an alarm until he was 13 (as did my DH, his stepdad). It would buzz when the bladder was full and wake them up. However, DS always cleaned up after himself. Bedwetting is very common with boys and I wouldn't take the "I didn't want to get up" at face value. A trip to the doctor is in order. 

Something also could have happened while they were with BM or at school. Stressors contribute to bedwetting. They should be cleaning up though no matter the cause of the issue. 

My SS still regularly wets the bed at 13. He’s told DH that he wets a lot at BM’s house. We have him EOWE. He doesn’t wet every time he’s at our house, but fairly regularly. 

He’s in charge of cleaning up. My biggest issue with him is that he fights with DH when DH tells him to go to the bathroom before bed. I’ve told DH that it shouldn’t be optional for him and DH should not allow him to make excuses.

My children both wet the bed until about 10. Their father said he did too. I ignored it and just had to wash the sheets everyday. It did mean they couldn’t have sleepovers though.

I’d have DH make them clean it up, paired with no liquids after dinner, pee before bed & if it continued a trip to the drs and/or pullups every night.

DH had trouble wetting the bed until he was around 10, it can’t always be helped. But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have to help clean it up. The wrapping themselves in blankets & sitting on the couch would be a major no go for me, that’s beyond disgusting. If your DH refuses to see the issue I’d simply insist on pull-ups & leave it at that.