What really helped me stay strong on my choice to leave was reading my old blogs. It's the best diary in the world. You know what you have to do, not us.

Eh.. Hubby and I met when I was just 10 or 11 years old. I turned 37 on Saturday. During that time, there were a lot of break ups, and us each dating other people. At one point, we were both married to other people (he was married to BM).

What I found out is, if it's meant to be, it WILL be. Don't worry about what you are giving up, or that you will be alone. Just know, that this might STILL be what you are meant to have, but either one or both of you still have some growing to do until it is the right time.

Good luck!

I don't know your backstory but I feel for you x ..I'm actually going to repeat from another comment I've made recently here.. 

I always, always hoped that one day my ex would "change" and that we'd be happy together. I lost count of the times we split up and got back together.. I wasted yeeears hoping it would work.

Nope. Never happened. He always did a really good job of pretending he'd changed so we could get back together, then after a while the "fake front" would slip and we'd be back to where we started, which was basically an extremely unhealthy relationship that I wasn't happy in.

My advice would be: don't waste your time. Move on, find a man who is *already* your match.. Not someone you hope will *turn into* your match.

I know how much it hurts to want someone to change so that it can work. That's why I stayed so long. *Hope* is a very strong emotion. And a wonderful one, when correctly placed in your life. 

But I think in the situation of hoping that *someone else* will change, it's not correctly placed, and can become unhealthy. Save your hope for lovely things that you can aim for *yourself* don't rely on someone else to make changes. Ask yourself if this man can make you happy. And go from there.

oh! also what I found helped when feeling weak/ thinking of getting back together, was writing out all the things he used to do that upset me or just simply weren't up to the standard of man I wanted.. Not necessarily particular things he said or did, (although they helped too) but also the general description of the man and how he makes/ made you feel. 

It was so surprising how quickly I forgot all the things that used to bug the crap out of me about my ex, lol! I did the same as you and looked back with love and happiness (I have no idea how all the bad stuff just falls out of your head lol! But you're not alone there!)

Anyway, I wrote all these things out in my journal, and then in the next few pages I wrote out all the things I actually *wanted* in a man. The difference in those 2 sections of my journal was so vast, that it was handy to read through now and again to remind myself not to waste any more of my life going back to my loser ex. Good luck, I know how hard it is xxx

Do these things now......

Delete his phone number from your cell.
Delete his email from your address book.
Un-friend, delete, block him from any social media.
Do not drive by his place.
Do not drive by where he works.
Do not go to the favorite spots you used to share.

You know he's not going to change. You know he will be great for a few days, then go back to what he was doing before.

Go to counseling, write down the things that happened that made you decide to end things and if you have one or two good friends you can count on.....have them text you once a day to stay strong.

Getting over relationships is difficult but you are only prolonging the process by jumping back into it again and again. Rip off the band-aid, cut off the limb, close the door.