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SDs are the WORST

SadStep77's picture

My SD moved out of our house when she was 13. She didn't want to follow any of our rules, especially the one about not having a boyfriend. She was absolutely horrible to deal with.... Attitude, messy, and brought our whole household down when ever she could.

Her mom only made things worse, telling her how horrible we were. Of course, BM was letting SD, who was only 13, go unsupervised over to the boy's house. The reason? They were good Christians and wouldn't do anything wrong.

Things got worse. SD, when she was about 16, participated in a campaign of PAS to try and get custody of SS12. CPS was called, and they reported things like... Made me do my own laundry... Let me watch R rated movie... Didn't buy me deodorant.... Obviously, it was all bullshit (except the laundry part, LOL) and BM was reprimanded by the courts to stop playing games.

Fast forward to now... SD is now 17, and can't get along with her stepdad (BMs husband). Apparently, he is pissed of that she has a horrible attitude and won't clean her room (gasp! How terrible of him!).

She has moved out of her mom's house to go live with her grandparents. She has almost ruined two families, and still just does whatever she wants to. It is absolutely ridiculous!

SS12 wants to live with us full time. There is so much drama with crazy BM. However, BM still will tell anyone who will listen how terrible are and other assorted crap.

It just doesn't seem fair.

Comments

12yrstepmonster's picture

I don't understand why Bms are vindictive.

In 16 years dh has never missed a cs payment. He paid 9-10k a year on 2 kids.

He got the everytime he was off and bm didn't have plans. He got the for 4 weeks during the summer and 1 week over Christmas.

Sd turned 21. Dh moved for emancipation in July- sd moved out of her moms house in may,had not been in school since Jan, and was working 40 hrs a week.

Bm has now slammed him twice- in essence telling the world my dh was a sperm donor and is not there for his kids.

At 21 sd told her dad that he just wanted to wash his hands of her. It's sad that she has missed out on a great dad.

SadStep77's picture

I know! No matter what my DH has ever done/given for his kids is forgotten. It's like they are programmed to only remember the "bad" stuff. My SS even told us about this awesome restaurant that he went to with his mom on the coast. My DH and I were shocked... Because he went with US!!! In his memory, a good thing done with us was completely altered.

Frustr8d1's picture

After her first visit to BM in 3 yrs, SD9 somehow completely forgot every thing we've done for her and every place we've taken her...and I'm talking about Disneyland CA, Disney World FL, Universal Studios, Ice Cream, BK, San Diego Zoo, parks, beaches, picnics. I mean, what kid doesn't remember going to Disneyland??!

Frustr8d1's picture

That's awesome. I would love to have SD9 go live with BM full time right at the peak of the nasty teen years! I'm sort of holding off until then. Putting up with SD9 for a couple more years so she can spend her last "childhood" years with BM.

Frustr8d1's picture

SadStep, Are you saying that if I think things are bad now, just wait until the teen years??! lol...I know. It was hard enough raising my own teenager many years ago, I just can't imagine raising a stepteen! I'm scared shitless, which is why I would love to hang on for a couple of years then send SD9 to BM right when "the hormones turn on." }:)

SadStep77's picture

^^this 100%.

I always felt like I could joke around and do stupid stuff with both DHs boys. When it came to SD, she was always offended or embarrassed by all of us.

Of course, it doesn't help that she is ├╝ber religious (as in, there are no such thing as dinosaurs) and she has that in common with her BM. She basically thought of us all as "bad Christians" and that idea was reinforced by her mom.

SadStep77's picture

Actually, I would say what happened was an ideal situation EXCEPT how it tore my poor DH's heart out. We got to avoid all the crazy bitchiness and drama of a female teen. Even DH admitted that things were so much calmer and happier after she moved out. But all that came at the price of a near break-down by DH. I couldn't imagine if my BS said such lies or treated me like shit. I would literally be heartbroken, and DH was.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

I would have never dated a man with a daughter ..... just because I was such a terrible teenage girl.

BUT, I found out boys are just as bad!

I feel for ya Sadstep! Teenage girls are SHITS, especially steps!

Jsmom's picture

You are living my life. About two years behind me. Read my blogs. SD16 lives with mommy after some serious PAS. SS14 lives with us and is now thriving. But, what a mess to get here....

RedWingsFan's picture

So sorry! I could've written that up until the point of SD getting older. Mine is still only 14. She's done everything you mentioned and then some.

I don't have any advice, only sympathy, as I'm living on eggshells around SD all the time now. She tried desperately to split her father and I up and then sorta gave up after we got married but now she's back, full force.

UGH! SD's really ARE the worst!