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The Competiton Begins

sadstep's picture

So here we are at the Holidays, His X dropped off the kids this morning at 8:00 am. He got in last night from a business trip at 6:00, was awake about 30 minutes, stayed up working on his computer the entire night before, therefore when flight came in yesterday he was exhausted. So our only evening along after his being gone was spent with him sleeping on my lap. Kids came this morning and as I was leaving for work, I asked for a kiss goodbye, on his way over to give me a kiss and hug the ss11 steps in and says "look at where I scraped my finger on my bike." So it begins, the entire next few days will be filled with "go away" - of course unless I am cooking them dinner or cleaning up after them or taking care of some other need, I am unwanted. Ignored. sd8 is wonderful and sweet, however my bad attitude with ss11 seeps out. I just want to smack the kid jump on all of his toys and say shut up for just a minute. There I said it. Vent vent vent, this way I'll be nice to their faces. Just remember while watching a movie he's asking stupid questions just to get attention. SHUT UP. He lies, fake cries, pees the bed, sniffles everywhere. I'm expected to clean up after it all.... Sad... sad I am. Could be worse, I guess. Can I do this for 7 more years. How long will he be peeing on everything. My son was potty trained at 18 months.

Comments

imagr8tma's picture

Still wets the bed at 11 - wow - i dont think he would be drinking after 8 pm - and he would have an alarm to wake him up around 1 - 2 am to use the bathroom.

Wonder if there are some emotional issues going on with the 11 year old.....

I hope things level out for you and your family soon.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

sadstep's picture

I suggested that he not drink after a certain time. they looked at me cockeyed and said "no, I don't think that's it." WHAT-ever. I also suggested no soft drinks as caffiene stimulates the bladder, another sideways glance, "no that's not it" DH is so stubborn.. I couldn't possibly KNOW anything about this even though I'm 7 years older than he (yes I robbed cradle! woo hoo). and a Mother myself.

sadstep's picture

He is only 5. The accident is that an accident, I'm sorry that he's being punshied sounds like along with everyone else for it.

Constantly_guilty's picture

Just a thought but my SD10 still wets the bed. We've implemented similar changes like no liquids after dinner and making sure she uses the restroom immediately before bedtime. It's incredibly hard on her self esteem and she's always devastated when she does this. I'm sure if SS11 COULD stop it, he would. However, because we've made all of these changes, we no longer think she is wetting the bed for physical reasons. It's either that she's such a deep sleeper she just can't wake herself up at night. And there are people like that who wet the bed into adulthood as a result. Or it's tied to emotional trauma. It does seem to happen more frequently when something bad has happened between she and her BM (which is about once a month).

sadstep's picture

You are so right, he would stop if he could, but if they will not consider sound reason, i.e., stop drinking coke at 7:00 or 8:00, like I'm some kind of alien for suggesting it. That's what gets me, they act like I'm trying to hurt him by saying that he shouldn't drink after 8:00ish. What they are really trying to do is to make me feel outside, not included in the problem solving. That's ok, I'm not going anywhere. As much as they try.

soverysad's picture

No way I would be cleaning it up if DH won't implement any of the very REASONABLE changes you've recommended. Of course, this is difficult because noone wants their house to smell like piss. Still - I wouldn't do it. Spray something in there and close the door. In fact, 11 is old enough to take off the pissy sheets and put on clean ones.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Constantly_guilty's picture

SD10 has a large double size bed. She's gotten to the point now where when it happens, she gets up changes her clothes, lays down the towel that we leave under her bed and moves over a bit to the other side of the bed. She takes the sheets off in the morning and tells us about it at that point. Maybe if your DH won't allow you to participate in the problem solving you can at least implement some steps to make it less disruptful for you and your SS11.

sadstep's picture

Thank you Spike. Here's another way I feel totally used, I have only one child started seeing DH when my son was 16. He's never had to really clean up after him. I'm very glad to hear that it is working for you two!! Something for me to shoot for.

christsluv2u's picture

Just a thought. I wet the bed into my teens. I was yelled at, scolded, punished, not given any drinks after 4pm, etc etc etc etc

Years later I find out I have a medical problem. One medicine and BOOM problem solved.

All that punishment and I couldn't have helped it in any way shape or form.

Something to look into...

sadstep's picture

we don't punish him, I'm really not upset with him its the husband that won't clean up after or take any responsibility for that gags me. I would not punish him for something he cannot help. (Not the mean stepmonster that you thought right?!)

kidsaplenty's picture

I have a late bedwetter too. He has to take care of his own bedding, not as a punishment but you just need to clean up after yourself because hey, someone has to do it. For some kids the chemical that tells the kidneys to slow down at night and quit producing urine does not kick in until much later in life. They make a medicine that replaces that chemical, though it does not work with all kids. Getting the child up part way in to the night can sometimes help to. Slowing down on fluids makes sense too but make sure the kid gets plenty of liquids earlier in the day and just a couple ounces if thirsty at right before bed. They also make bedwetting alarms as a tool to help the child learn to get up. I have not used one yet but am thinking of it.