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How financially responsible are you for your Skids?

Reznov's picture

I don’t feel like ss4 is my financial responsibility at all, but DH thinks differently.

Today DH and I were having a discussion about whether or not I’m financially responsible for ss4. I was surprised and confused when DH said that he feels I am ( :? ). How does he come to that conclusion?!

DH and I are going through a rough patch financially and as the primary breadwinner I’m responsible for a lot of the family expenses. But, I feel like any money that I contribute on ss4’s behalf should be voluntary. He’s not my child, so he’s not my responsibility. We have DS 10months that IS my responsibility and as such, he is my primary focus. SS4 has a mother (we split 50/50 custody with BM) and a father, they should be the ones forking over the dough for him, not me. I understand that DH is having a hard time right now and I want to support him in whatever way I can but it bugs me that he feels that I should be financially responsible for HIS child.

How do the rest of you STalkers handle finance issues?


B22S22's picture

Our finances are split.

My opinion is, if I didn't birth the child, have no say in the child's behavior in my home, and am treated by said child(ren) as though I don't exist I am not financially responsible. If I'm invisible, so it the dough.

But seriously, I agree with you. If DH didn't have you, who would he THINK is financially responsible for his child?

Rhyleighblue's picture

He would probably think that everyone else in society is responsible for providing for his child.

Sheesh! Why have kids at all if you can't afford to raise them??

DaizyDuke's picture

Good God... ^^^this^^^

I can honestly say that if DH and I split and I was living with a new man, I would NEVER, EVER think that new man should be "responsible" financially for MY son. Now, if he wanted to buy him a toy from time to time or pay for dinner, or buy groceries for the household or something like that? Then so be it, but I would certainly not EXPECT it of him.

hereiam's picture

Dh's kid, DH's financial responsibility. Anything you do for him should be voluntary.

Men are great at expecting others to share in their responsibilities. I guess that's why, for the most part, women do better on their own than men. Men seem to have a hard time doing anything on their own. Not all men, but....

twopines's picture

I was never financially responsible for DH's kids. They have two parents, and I'm not one of them.

reallifedrama's picture

DH and I split bills down the middle, and place bill money in a joint acount. Whatever is left from my check, I keep in my individual account, whatever is left of his, he keeps in his.

I pay for my son's needs (his father is deceased), and DH pays for SS's needs.

If my husband asked me to borrow money for CS, I would give it to him. I would expect it back when he got on his feet, though.

I don't know how I'd feel about other possibilities, because we have just done it this way from the start.

I do feel like my child is my responsibility, and this his child is his, but I guess if I was struggling and he was doing well and my kid needed food, I'd probably expect him to help me...but, I'd also do the same for him on a temporary basis.

I guess some people feel like since they're married, when hard times come, whatever bills are there are their SO's responsibilities, too. I don't agree, but to each his own.