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Another resentment issue

resentful's picture

I have been in a relationship with my bf (boyfriend) for 8 years. He has a 14 child who is diabetic and has Aspergers. I believe his father may have the same learning disabilities his son has maybe Aspergers too.

I do most of the parenting and thinking for EVERYBODY(the meanie), and his child has grown immensely because I don't allow him to get away with I can't especially when I can't mean's half the time I don't want to, or I always have problems with it.... or blah blah....

I don't want to do the parenting. I freaking hate it, EVERYTHING from getting out the door to meals to going anywhere is an issue. His father supports what I say sometimes but disagrees a lot of times, because I believe in making him be responsible for his actions and accountable. I am a NAG, a "B", and I hate all this responsibility. Sure, walk away, but I know if I walk away SS will stop growing in maturity and independence. Not my issue, I know, but I take pride in all the grounds he has gained, that would not have been gained without me. No, I am not an egotistic person either. As a matter of fact, I lack confidence. (Just to clarify). SS plays us knowing I am going to say no to a lot of things and dad will say yes, because Dad doesn't think about the consequences of things. Like if SS has more food than he has taken insulin for to make sure SS takes a correction or anything to do with his diabetes. Between the aspergers, learning disabilities and the inability to think and remember, my life is WAY WAY too stressful.

Anyway, how the heck do I step away, even when I know J is doing wrong or the decisions he is making are not good for his diabetes or his learning disabilities. Really there are times that I think I hate him, but logically I know I am resentful, frustrated and tired on how much is on MY shoulders. I know I enabled it by doing it, now I want out of this aspect. In trying to step away, I get absolutely raging mad when BF let's his son do something that I know is not good for him.

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resentful's picture

I am new to the forum. Should I have said I have lived with my boyfriend and his son for 8 years? When I went over what the abbreviations bf was used as biological father and sometimes boyfriend, so I wanted to clarify.

resentful's picture

I guess I refuse to allow tht to happen. My brother had learning disabilities and can't do a thing for himself and becasue my mother let him get away with it..... he can be just plain gross and unmotivated. I don't want that for SS. But dad thinks I should lay off that I nag too much even though we got a call from the school that his Blood sugar is way high at lunch time. Which means he is eating more than he is taking insulin for and not calculating. I ask myself, he's not mine... why should I freaking care. With his learning disabilities and inability to think or pay attention, he should have his ipod taken away and freaking his dad WILL NOT do it. I know he can manage his diabetes. He is SO good when he wants something, he just is careless and not thinking. I also know if you take the thing that is distracting him from real life away he will make better decisions and take the time to think more.