Woww... unfortunately being that he is their father he has every right to do that.

I cant believe that he WOULD though and without him telling you anything?

I think its safe to say he has lost it

This is not going to be as traumatic for your kids as thou protest. They open their little mouths and get a swab. It will be no different for them than when their pediatrician has them open their mouth and go 'aaaahhhhh'. The kids will think nothing of it.

Your MIL thinks it's pretty ok to 'gift' everyone and their brother to test all the time...so what's the difference. It was only a matter of time before your kids got the mighty map present too. *shrugs*

FWIW, this is all a bit weird that the dna test performed on your SS after the map 'surprise' received such extremely fast return results. Meh, maybe the lab you chose isn't that busy. I know the labs my SS used for both his son's test and more recently his potential grandson were two to three times what you've stated in your timeline. *shrugs* Again, difference in labs, I suppose. I do know there were several levels and the one needed for proof in court were the most expensive and had the longest return time expectation.

Ok, so you're livid , hurt and spitting nails. Your kids are likely on their way to open their mouths to be swabbed. However, with the exception of how it makes you personally feel to be questioned as to your loyalty , trustworthiness, and dignity .... your children are fine. To them, they are off to the dr for routine check-up and then probably going to McDonalds for chicken nuggets.

This is going downhill very fast. He's their father and has a the right to pick up his children. It sound like both of you are on the crazy train of emotions that's out of control. Did you withhold the children out of anger that your DH wanted a DNA test or that he is placing you at the same level at his Ex?

Both of you need to step back, calm down and take a deep breath. Starting thinking how the other person must be feeling right now. Your DH is living in hell right now, finding that the child he thought was his is not. Think of it this way, you have your Bios, years later someone from the hospital, social services and the police comes to your home and tells you. "You have the wrong child, they were switched at birth, your natural child is dead, but we are taking this one to it's true parents and you will never have contact again" How the hell would you feel? This is possibly what your DH is feeling right now. He is lashing out at anyone and everyone, due to the pain he is going through.

I'm shocked by how many people are okay with him doing this.

His issue isn't paternity; it's that he is insecure in his life. Even if the DNA test comes back that the kids are his, it will only be a matter of time before it's something else. OP will conceal a text that has no bearing on the situation and he'll think she's cheating. Or she'll be 15 minutes late getting home. Or the kids will get mad at him and call him by his first name, and he'll interpret that as OP instructing them to pull away.

He doesn't need people giving in to his wild fantasies and insecurity, especially when the tool/weapon he is using is his kids with the OP. That is NOT EVER okay.

This is going to go downhill even faster if/when OP pulls away physically and financially for safety. He's going to put all the blame on HER versus working through his issues he has with his ex.

He is in self-destruct mode right now. It isn't much different than someone who would use alcohol or violence or sleeping around to cope. This isn't healthy for ANYONE. It isn't okay. It is a symptom of a bigger problem, and OP has every reason to be freaked out and mad.

OP - find out where he is, calmly take the kids, then contact the police. Explain the behaviors your seeing. They may or may not do anything, but this behavior should have you on full alert. It's not what he's doing but why he's doing it. Until he sees a therapist, he needs supervised visits with the kids.

I would call the police, tell them how unstable he is, and have them issue an Amber alert. He has effectively kidnapped them if he didn't inform you he was picking them up, hasn't informed where they are, and won't answer his phone.

A father picked his children up from daycare.
That is all that has happened here. As long as the children are well cared for, he has every right to do that.

If OP believes there is cause to deny him custody, she should seek legal representation immediately.

As I said. The testing was going to happen.

OP you need to start working on separating yourself.

You're not happy nor are you going to be happy.

He's not going to give up on the first child and you're not going to forgive him for this.

You are not going to support him through this.

By no means am I saying you should stand by his side and accept all this but these are the facts as I see it.

Get out. Get your own home and expect to share custody with him of your joint children.

I told my husband about this. He is disgusted with the way OP has acted.

Are they back????

Your DH sounds very unstable, self centered and financially self destructive. He's got a single goal and that's to fight for ss by legally sticking it to BM and you too. It's really sad that he's trying to prove that your joint children are not his. Maybe he thinks that if he proves that your kids aren't his then he won't have to support them anymore and all his resources can go to fighting for ss. Who really knows what he's thinking but his actions are erratic. He moves out then scoops the kids up, probably for DNA testing behind your back.

Honestly I would file for temporary custody until this blows over and he's *sane* again. Ranting that his kids aren't his, accusing you of being a hoor, then semi kidnapping your children is a bit scary.

Does anyone know what state this poster is from? Here in OK after two years of acknowledging paternity you’re stuck like chuck and it takes an act of congress to get yourself removed from responsibility. I’m surprised a lawyer told him it’s gonna be a big fight unless the law is extremely different where she lives.

Ramblin I wish you would not write and dash.

You seem to forget the kids have 2 parents AND unless he is court ordered to NEVER remove the kids from daycare DAD is not doing anything wrong.

what is the problem here?

Dads wants a dna test,,,,give it to home. If you have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

I'm so sorry this is happening. How frightening. It's one thing to pick them up from daycare and go ahead with the DNA test, but to not answer his phone and leave you in the dark about where your children are is very cruel. I don't care what kind of garbage any other abuser-friendly person here gives you about how it's his right to do this, there's nothing wrong with him picking up the kids, and you should have just given him what he wants, I know that this is still scary and infuriating to you.

You seem perfectly aware that his method of going about this is designed to further emotionally punish you for not catering to his insecurities. By refusing to answer his phone, he is refusing to even remotely behave like an adult. "I have the children, they are fine, I am going through with this procedure and we will talk when we get home." - Even though it would be a piggish action to take with total disregard for you, he would at the very LEAST be communicating and treating you like you matter. That's not the case here.

I hope that your children have been returned home safely since this post.

WagieMorri: Why should bio mom be scared the kids are in their dads care?

Unless I missed something Dad is not a threat to their kids.

What proof is there DAD is refusing to answer the phones. Cant assume he is "refusing" anything.

Why cant dads home BE home for the kids. Why is it moms house is the only HOME a kid can have.....geeze.

My ex wanted a dna test on our youngest because he thought she did not look like him or our older daughter. My response was "sure go ahead and knock yourself out, I'll even pay for the test if she isn't yours" because I knew she was. Test came back, sure enough he paid to find out she was his. It shut that argument down but like some on here have said after that it was "you're 15 minutes late where were you" etc. Bottom line I think I would have agreed to the test but her husband is out-of-control. She has to decide what she is and is not going to tolerate. Just because his ex cheated doesn't mean he gets to treat every other woman like crap. Cashing in half your 401k? remortgaging your home? Those are huge decisions and if this child is that old he deserves to have a little say in who he wants in his life. It may turn out that this child has two fathers. That's what happened when my brother adopted his SS and then after my brother and his wife's (bio-mom) divorce, here came bio-dad again in the picture. She does need legal advice. If he's hellbent on this path what's to stop him from getting a credit card and raking up debt etc.? Then by the time you try and fight the "its not my debt" in court you have paid half the debt. Sorry for the rambling answer.