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50% of marriages end in divorce. The other 50% end in death. Which way would you rather go?

Rags's picture

Another thread triggered this little nugget of wisdom from the dregs of my memory.

So, which way would you rather go?

Keep in mind the the Death option for blended family marriages probably includes an increased risk of homicide when a frustrated StepParent looses patience with and does in their spouse! :jawdrop:

So, pick your poison. Do you want your marriage to end in divorce or in Death? If you choose Death, who's death and how do want to go or do them in? Wink

I plan on my lovely bride and I putting our Ferrari in to the side of a mountain going 200+MPH when I am in my 90's.

When I go I plan on sliding my heavenly super sports car in to the parking curb with the tires and engine smoking, my beautiful wife at my side, a big shit eating smile on my face, walking up to the pearly gates and yelling at St. Peter "What a ride! Open up the gates I wanna see what kind of trouble I can cause on the other side!!!!!!!!!!!"

If I have to go without my Beautiful Bride then I will opt between death by cheesecake at 90+ or being shot by a jealous husband at 90+. I have not decided which.

Best regards,


Stick's picture

I don't know how many of you have heard of Eddie Izzard, but he has a bit called "Cake or Death"! Rags here made me think of it!!

I'll take death please! Smile

I want DH and I both to go after partying too much at our favorite resort in Cancun, sun kissed tans, too much food, too many margaritas, laying in bed after a great day... dying in each other's arms!! Oh yeah, and not caring that we are elderly and him still in boardshorts and me in a bikini with a funny hat! Yes, we will be that couple that everyone looks at and goes... ewwwwwww!!!


But if not, I want to go first!! I don't know how I'll live if he goes first, and it makes me teary just to think about it. I already miss him and the thought of living without him forever just kills me.

So I'm being very very selfish!! I want to die first and donate my body to science. And then he can go meet some nice young thing (in her 60's!) and tell her how wonderful I am and she'll have to try to live up to it!! ha ha haaa! Smile

onehappygirl's picture

Look on Youtube for it, and you'll find that skit done entirely in leggos. Funny.

Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

BMJen's picture

LOL, I'm just kidding. It's silly.....I get it!

Let's see........hummmmm........If I have to honestly sit here and think about it I hope that our marriage doesn't end at all, ever. If so then I hope that we fulfill our vows by it being until death do us part. I just hope if it's me first he doesn't have another Mrs. DH in the saddle to meet him in heaven or St. Peter won't even be able to help him when he gets there! ~~I'm not as nice as Stick~~ Wink

~all you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust...and sometimes a machine gun~

PnutButta's picture

I haven't been married that long, so I still like my husband enough to say.....dying together like true soulmates do (in bed...*wink*).

I have to say though, I really like the idea of death by cheesecake.....yum!!

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost

secondwife20's picture

By strangling my DH with my tiny bare hands.

Just kidding. Blum 3 Maybe.

If I beat DH to the death bed, it'll probably be from a stress induced heart attack.

lol I'm such a positive person.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss