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Trying so hard not to hate him right now

positivelyfourthstreet's picture

In my last entry I mentioned oral surgery and how husband is being annoying.

The survery was a biopsy of my tongue. This spot has been biopsied twice before and been present for about ten years. This time the doc said he needed to put me completely under and just remove the whole area which is basically about one eighth of my tongue. I have stitches going back to my throat and I'm very uncomfortable.

I am trying to just get through each day the best I can without a whole lot of whining and worry. I have been through auite a few cancer scares slready no point in being too worried about it unless it really does turn out to be something.

I can't eat much but I have no problem cooking for my family. I think it got infected because the other day the pain suddenly became unbearable. Much opiates and benzocaine to manage it.

Doc gave me antibiotics been taking them and was able to eat chicken pot pie that I cooked yesterday. Yippee!

Made tacos for dinner tonight so we could use up salsa I made this weekend. Husband came in and I want to get away from this food I can't eat water the yard and eat pie later after everyone else is done with mexican food that I love and can't eat.

There is a problem with this though.

Everything is cooked and ready, I just have 't assembled the tacos yet.

Husband made this really big deal about me wsnting to go do something else while he assembled and ate tacos.

Okay, find I'll put the damn tacos together. Done deal.

Or so I thought.

He is irritating the fuck out of me with his passivd aggressive snger displays. The constsnt coughing slamming things etc

He starts to read some bullsit article to me sbout alcohol and cancer(can I read this to you eithout you getting mad?)

I said why would I get mad?

You drink more than I do and cancer is genetic

I finally tune him out with the ipod which shouldn't bother him he is looking at all his gun crap on the internet.

A few hours later he brings up the goddam tacos again. I tell him what's the deal?

It got done. Why is this an issue now 3 or 4 hours later.?

He starts bitching about how if I felt good enough to water the yard I should have assembled his tacos.


Dinner was cooked.

I didn't want to be around it because it is one of my favorite meals

This man has absolutely no fucking empathy whatsover

Whoever said he was being an asshole is right.

I didn't mind putting the tacos together what got me is he hS no empathy at sll

And I am reSlizing if I get seriously ill this man will continue the misery snd attacks until I'm six feet under and probably scream at me every other day for not tKing cRe of myself snd letting myself get sick.

I wasn't like this at all when he had cNcer. I tried to give him nothing but good.

I am so afraid of getting really sick.

I think if I do I might move in with my mom.

I don't feel like he will care for me properly if I do.

Just damn!


Shaman29's picture

He is an insensitive asshole.

You're in pain, you recently had an 1/8 of your tongue surgically removed, you can't eat several kinds of food, and you're gracious enough to cook his meals for him. And the f**ker doesn't have the decency to thank you or help you.

Tell him to go to hell. Go directly to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

She_Sparkles's picture

I can barely make it through your posts without wanting to put my fist through your husband's face. I don't know how you stick with this person. He's vile.

positivelyfourthstreet's picture

Thanks for the hugs you guys.

I don't mind cooking because I'm making food for my kids too.

I don't really mind cooking for him either he's just so insensitive.

Thanks for listening. I thought maybe I was overreacting when I got so upset.

I know everyone thinks he's an AH I guess he is sometimes. I am so detached I hardly even notice it that much.

I won't go stay at mom's unless things get critical.

My daughter is being extra clingy right now she's worried about me but part of the problem may be that I'm trying too hard to just tough it out so I don't worry the kids unnecessarily.

I think she's afraid I might really get sick and she'll be stuck with him for five more years.

She just hasn't been the same at all since dad hollered that SD was his only daughter last year during the SD wedding wars(I refused to attend BC SD was getting uglier and uglier by the day)

I don't know why he hates me so much I have always kind of spoiled him(not tooting my own horn several outsiders have seen it)

If this is love(he still says I love you)i would really hate to see him hate me for real

kathc's picture

What an asshole! He can't assemble his own damn tacos?

I hope you're feeling better!

positivelyfourthstreet's picture

No worries. I've had access to them for 25 years.

Hasn't been a problem yet.

I only take them when absolutely necessary and under optimal conditions I can make one small bottle last a year or more and this is with a bad back.

positivelyfourthstreet's picture

My very unfortunate and extreme addiction to nicotine needs to change though.

Sometimes a cigarette is the difference between serenity and a houseful of overturned and broken furniture.