Does this sound like BM is encouraging SD14 to have sex?
Ok I'm not trying to blog hog but I'm itching to get your opinions on this. DH was reading through SD's Facebook trying to decide if he should deactivate it and saw a text from BM that he shared with me. :jawdrop:
" SD I just want you to know I love you and I'm the one person in this world who won't judge you. I know your dad has different views but you should never feel bad about who you are. If you want to have sex no one can tell you different just protect yourself. Your sexual identity is apart you. No one can tell you how to think or feel. Just know you can always come to me and talk to me and I will always listen. We can have all the girl talks you want. If you choose to have sex I just only hope you never feel ashamed of it. Your dad might not understand but I was a young girl like you once and I understand the feelings and emotions and the uncontrollable hormones. I understand acting on your desires and getting judged for them. I don't want that for you. I just want to make sure you always protect yourself and yes they do make condoms for oral sex. I just wish you would come home I love and miss you and I feel like someone ripped out a piece of my soul. My BF loves and cares for you to I just wish you could realize that and I know you are hating it over there. Please message me back honey."
I don't even know what to think.
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Hey, to me it sounds more
Hey, to me it sounds more like she is trying to protect her daughter. Her thinking seems to me to be "well, if she is going to do it, she is going to do it, so the best option is to give her an avenue to talk and make sure she is safe". Being that she was caught doing stuff already, this is an approach that may work. Not the only approach, but I do not see it as encouraging, rather as offering an ear.
As a parent she may simply feel if she knows she can at least advise.
Well she can't stop her from
Well she can't stop her from having sex. At least she can make sure she has it safely. I'd say this is responsible.
Good Thing I have your fresh
Good Thing I have your fresh pair of eyes on this. I might choke even thinking this but I could possibly learn something from BM that can be of use in my parenting my own child. I just up chucked a little lol.
I don't agree with the
I don't agree with the emotional guilt trip at the end or throwing dad under the bus part, but everything else is reasonable because my parents did the same to me. They told me I could always go to them about sexual issues (well, my mom, my dad would burst into flames and die on the spot) and to be safe, and they made sure I knew what a condom was.
Yeah, but seriously, could have done without the guilt trip and the "dad doesn't agree" part.
No shit dad doesn't agree--I know few and far in between who would be.
What do you feel a judge
What do you feel a judge would say about this message? Also, I'm of the opinion that every time you have sex a baby WILL come out of it. So sure if your ready and SD is ready to have a baby. . Have as much sex as you want. Condoms aren't 100 percent so go ahead get pregnant and get HIV and die. That's my take.
Your DH should have a talk to
Your DH should have a talk to his daughter about that just like her mother knows how it is being a teen girl he knows exactly how teen boys think because he was one. And then he should tell her a few home truths about what boys say and why they say it. And how they talk about the easy girls and how to get in their pants. When girls get a heads up (no pun intended!) they may be able to filter through the boy-speak for "wanna f..k?"
oneoffour has a great idea
oneoffour has a great idea there. Personally BM sounds like she is encouraging to me. Yes you would hope that a mother would be understanding but no where does she say that sex is a big decision that shouldn't be taken lightly.
What I would want to tell a
What I would want to tell a young girl is that she has decisions to make about her behavior. She should never try to take advantage of someone sexually anymore than she should take advantage of a friend financially. It is not a good thing to use people.
And that she needs to respect herself and the decisions that she makes. She will most likely make some bad decisions but she needs to learn from those too.
It is important that young women learn to like and respect themselves enough to demand respect in all areas. That focuses on the feelings behind actions not a list of things you should not do.
I disagree with it being in a
I disagree with it being in a text, really? That is where we are at now in communicating with our children?
As for dissing Dad's house, PAS at it's finest...