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I’m exhausted and drained

Pavarotti's picture

I’ve tried for two years with these kids (2 SD) and nothing works or has changed. They are the rudest and nastiest children I have ever met. Zero manners, zero respect - the youngest of the two purposely would try to kick my stomach hard while I was pregnant. She thought it was hilarious.  I have bruises on my body from where they have kicked me and bite me. I can’t do this anymore. My anxiety goes through the roof when I know they are coming to visit. I try so hard to do nice activities and provide nice things for them - but they always ruin it. Every single time. And they go out of their damn way to distroy their baby brothers things. Just recently they went into my closet and distroyed his Easter stuff - though left theirs fully intact. They have ruined my furniture - the 7 year old will sit there on my couch, wide awake, and piss on it. I can’t have anything, and neither can my son. And the worst part? I get stuck with them cause of their dads job. I’m losing my goddamn mind. 


I dont drink but boy I might start. 


SteppedOut's picture

My dear, this might be hard to hear, but you have a HUSBAND problem. 

What does he do when his daughter's harm you and damage you and your son's things? 

Why are they there when he is gone? They are visiting to see him, not you. 

Seriously, kicked you when you were pregnant? You should have left then. If your husband doesn't do anything to correct this behavior, it will never get better - actually, it will get worse. 

Are you able to support yourself? Do you have a job? If not you need to start looking. I know it is a difficult time to start a job search, but it is time for you to take action (if your husband will not).

ETA: throw their Easter stuff in the trash. 

Pavarotti's picture

Him and I are supposed to start therapy soon, but I believe it won’t do much. He’s so closed off it’s sad. He went through a nasty custody battle (BM kept the kids from him for about a year and a half) and I feel like he lets them get away with murder because of it. He threatens punishment but never follows through with it. It sucks major ass tbh

When I was pregnant with my son I had a lot of health problems (lost his sister - twin - and almost lost him) so I was going through a lot of things and was stuck. I hate saying that, but it’s true. I settled and got stuck. i know if (or even) I leave I’ll be ok, but damn taking that step is so hard. I’m still dealing with PPD and PT - which makes it all worse. 

I truley do love him, but his kids - love isn’t that strong. 

shamds's picture

After losing a baby doesn’t make it any easier or less risk. You need to stand up for yourself and firmly tell hubby they leave now, he handles custody time away from you!!

its absolutely disgusting and pathetic that he lets them get away with this

SteppedOut's picture

I am so sorry you lost your daughter. It is a pain that scars the soul. 

I agree with above poster. The kicking and stress of having these little monsters around did not help your already high risk pregnancy. 

There is no way I would allow these ferals in my home. 

It will only be a matter of time before they start targeting your son. Please start making an exit plan. 

thinkthrice's picture

to get a different job, nor leave you with his ferals.  He'll need to hire a babysitter or have custody outside of your home.  Therapy will not change anything generally especially if you get a "conventional" therapist who will tell you to sacrifice yourself on the failed first family's altar..

No doubt their BM is telling them to destroy your stuff and be ferals at Daaadddeeee's house when Daaaddeee is not there. 

Taking your son and run would be the best option.   Looks like he "hired" you as nanny, laundress, maid, cook, chauffeur, personal assistant, teacher and bed buddy.

These situations seldom change and putting your foot down will ramp up the skid, BM and Daaaddeeee rotten behaviour.  He's got it good now.  He can be the "fun" spoiling Daaddeeee as he is afraid of losing his brats due to the conflict and competition with the BM to see which household has the least rules and guidance (none).  Whereas Pavarotti is the mean, eeeeeevvvvviiiiil SM. (TM)

Your son will notice the double standards. 


Kes's picture

No way could I live with these vile feral children, and you shouldn't, either.  I'm sorry to say, with a DH like yours, ie totally ineffective, it's never, ever going to be any different - the SKIDs will just get worse and worse, if that's possible. Even if you are short of money, better to tolerate this than carry on living in this nightmare.  Start making exit plans for yourself and your baby.  

Starbright08's picture

Kes is right, it will only get worse trust me. Children who are like this, 9 times out of 10 it is because of the parenting (or lack there of). If bio mom and bio dad, for whatever illogical reason refused to do their jobs as parents, and parent their children the right way, the kids would not behave like this. Unfortunately, the step kids haven't been taught respect because clearly the bio parents don't have respect, and I'm sorry don't mean to be crass but seems your husband also has no respect for you. I would never tolerate my son behaving that way towards anyone, and he knows this. I hope you find peace and wish you the best.

Left out mama's picture

The SD easater baskets need to go. And they need to know why! Make them throw them in the trash themselves!  What is your DH thinking allowing them to behave like this!?.. if the 7 year old is still peeing herself maybe she should be in pull ups. 
your job is to protect your son since your DH is obviously not going to. 

Monkeysee's picture

Your son needs to be your top priority, which means telling your H you’re no longer his babysitter, his feral children will be with their BM when he’s at work, and if that’s not ok with him he’ll be getting a new job.

I had a visceral reaction when you said that little cretin kicked your stomach whilst you’re pregnant. No ones child is worth keeping around when they endanger the life or well being of your own child. The fact that your H allowed this speaks volumes of the double standards that already exist between his kids. His daughters already come first, the well-being of your son will be entirely up to you. Please protect him and draw clear boundaries with your H, or leave him altogether. Those girls are lost causes, protect your son from them & your H’s lack of action. 

Kee-khe's picture

Hell no! how do you women put up with stuff like this! PLEASE love yourself more! Nobody deserves a life like this.

SDs should not be home if your husband isn't either. they are HIS problem.

So sorry you went through this!