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Would you get a tattoo of something your step kids wrote for you?

BlueDiamond1986's picture

My step daughter wrote me a note that said "Dear "my nickname" I love you". She written it like 5 years ago and I thought about getting it tattooed on me sometime. My husband and I get along great with his ex wife and her husband. We coparent great and go to the kids events together. Even if me and BM get along, would this be overstepping boundaries for me if I got the note tattooed? Should I be respectful and not do it? What are your thoughts? 


JRI's picture

I'm not a tattoo fan anyway but it seems like overstepping somehow.  I'm glad your relationship is good, though.  Good luck and may it continue!

MissK03's picture

Don't do it.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

If you and BM get along well, you should probably ask her directly. 

ndc's picture

I personally wouldn't get any tattoo, but I especially wouldn't get one based on a note written by a stepchild. I do think it's overstepping, plus skid relationships can change on a dime, even when there is a good coparenting relationship.

Crspyew's picture

Not a tattoo fan and think you would be overstepping.  Do you really need a tattoo to know she loves you or is it to show others she loves you?  

Yesterdays's picture

You wrote it yourself.. 

 Should I be respectful and not do it?



CastleJJ's picture

I wouldn't. As someone mentioned above, stepkid relationships can change at any point and I would hate to have something on my body permanently as a daily reminder of what used to be. 

ESMOD's picture

I'm in the "no" collumn.. Yes... a nice sentiment.. but seems boundary "peeing" activity somehow.  I would not risk upsetting the applecart if it isn't upset.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

No.  You'd be overstepping

CajunMom's picture

Definitely overstepping. As someone else said, frame it. I get along great with my kid's SM and that would be a bit much for me. 

Stepdrama2020's picture

Not into tatoos, but thats not the question.

Is it overstepping, maybe maybe not.

The biggest regrets people have is getting tatoos with names of spouses or BF/Gf's and then oops they are no longer and now you have a not so pleasant reminder.

As another poster noted step relationships can be changed faster than the bat mobile.

Have it framed, like another poster said, and hang it up in a special place.

Thats sweet though, but remember you are the SM and thats a very precarious position.

advice.only2's picture

I have tattoos so I’m not opposed to people doing that, but when it comes to something that personal I would say no.  It’s kind of like if you get your spouse’s name tattooed on you then you are more than likely to end up divorced…I think the same could be said about kids and skids.  You get the tattoo and then BAM relationship goes sour and now you have this permanent reminder.

Aniki-Moderator's picture


Dogmom1321's picture

No. Just no. SD12 wrote me letter about five years ago about how much she loved me. Fast forward to now... we don't have a relationship, seem more like roommates, and isn't accepting of our bio son. Not saying your relationship is doomed to go south... but if it ever did, it was simply be a reminder that I wouldn't want. 

This is even assuming BM is okay with it in the first place. 

missgingersnap2021's picture

HARD NO!!!!!

Birchclimber's picture

Absolute no.

Shieldmaiden's picture

Its your body. As far as I am concerned - you can tattoo anything you like on it. You don't need BM's permission.All she did to have kids was get knocked up. It doesn't make her a saint.

However - if and when you have a falling out with the stepkids - which will happen sooner or later - you may find it hard to look at that tattoo. 

My SD liked to sew dolls for me and DH each Christmas. I collected them all, even though I am not a hug doll fan. Then when it became clear that my SD thought very little of us this past Thanksgiving - I threw every single doll in the trash. Not because I wanted to hurt her, but because looking at them symbolized the betrayal I felt. It broke my heart - so I chucked them. You can't do that with a tattoo. That is why I might think twice about it. 

So exhausted's picture

I think it depends on your relationship with kid. I have both my step kids names on me and don't regret it. I have been with their dad for 21 years since they were three. Got their names when they were 8 after we got married. I very fortunately have a really good relationship with both. Had ups and downs but mostly just teenage stuff. They are 23 almost 24 now. SD and I also got matching tattoos - her idea. DH thinks we're stupid lol but we love them. They are the only kiddos I have and getting ready to add another tattoo for my little granddaughter who we help out a lot with and is our little sunshine. 

Livingoutloud's picture

I'd not even tatoo my own daughter's notes. Why? Keep it for a memory in the album or something. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Take that note and frame it beautifully.  Then when she's a bratty teen, you can use it as a reminder of better days and have no regrets over a tattoo.  IMO, it's not so much about BM but you.  You can do anything you want with your body but there are plenty of people in the world that regret a tattoo and most have a name involved.  

If the feeling is still there in 20 years you can get it done then.   Somehow you found this site so all can not be perfect in your steplife.  Slow your roll for your own sake.  

Rags's picture

Though why would you want to get someone else's kid's scrawl reproduced on  your skin?


NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

BM's first child's name (who he believed at the time and years later was his bio child and turned out not to be) tattooed on the inside of his forearm. Well he ended up covering it up in 2021 and now takes the same stance I do of never having words tattooed on me of any kind. Personally, even if it was my bio child, I still wouldn't get it tattooed on me. I think imagery is the best without words. I agree with others who said to frame the note. You don't want later to have to cover it up