This is bad....
I have been pretty lucky for the past year since BM came back. She got of drugs and alcohol, completed rehab and her sober living stay. She has been a positive influence in SS's life and has really seemed to pull herself together. It has honestly been nice having her around. I talked to her last night about letting SS go over my mom's house this friday even though it is her weekend b/c my mom wanted to do something special with all the grandkids before Christmas. She agreed that it was fine and mentioned that her works Christmas party was Saturday night and that she hoped she wouldn't be hung over Sunday 
. She said that since she has been sober she has only drank once at her sister's wedding about a month ago. It terrifies me that this is a gateway for going back to the life she was living before.
I really can't handle her deserting SS again! In his little mind it will be my fault because he will need someone to take the anger out on. If she is using again we won't be able to let him over there anymore and there goes my 4 days of peace a month!!! I am just very very sad about this whole situation.
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For her it was a combination
For her it was a combination of prescriptions (anything she could get her hands on uppers or downers) and alcohol. Her addiction led her to be homeless and abandoning her 2 children. It wasn't until she was faced with jail or rehab did she clean up. The only reason that she even got the option was because she was pregnant with #3 at the time. She has so much to lose, I just don't get why she would even allow herself to be tempted.
wait your bm is Dumbass!!!
wait your bm is Dumbass!!! except subtract the pregnancy and add occasional meth. (yup, "but i dont use it every day!")
i wish dumbass would go to rehab. she's been before just to clear her system, but it wont stick until she hits rock bottom. she hasnt yet...
It just sucks because she is
It just sucks because she is FINALLY doing so well!!! She has a real full time job (she may only make $8/hr but it is in a nursing home and they will pay for her to continue training to move up in the medical field). She is very regular with her visitation. We have good communication. She is currently trying to get custody of SS's 1/2 sister (13yr old). I just want to smack her back into reality!!!
Please try to let go and let
Please try to let go and let God. It's easier said than done, I know. But no one has control over her behavior except for her. Sounds like she's flirting with disaster. When I was younger my Dad had 6 months of sobriety and it was the best time of my life. When he went back to drinking, I was devastated. Luckily as I got older I understood that he had a disease. I was able to separate that I hated the disease, but loved my Dad.
When my Dad was 63, he had a stroke that left his unable to drive. He could no longer drive to get his drink of choice, which left him sober. Occasionally I could see the alcoholic behavior/ attitude come out. He was in denial that he ever had a drinking problem, but he was at least sober.
Hopefully as your SS gets older you can explain the disease his mother has and that he can still love his mother, kwim?
Hang in there and (((((HUGS)))))
I know that there is nothing
I know that there is nothing I can say or do to stop it. Well, other than the fact that if she is showing any signs of using or drinking around SS that she will never see him again. Addiction sucks, and it is horrible on children who have to deal with the fall out. Letting go and letting God deal with it sounds like a good plan, but honestly, I know that God only helps those who help themselves. And if she won't, than my job is to protect the children that He has brought into my life.
Absolutely, I agree in taking
Absolutely, I agree in taking care of the children but if they ask what is happening, I would simply say mom is sick. What I said about letting go and letting God, I meant that we have no control over the addict. Let go of your worries for her to God and let God deal with her.
Hang in there
You can drive yourself crazy
You can drive yourself crazy dwelling on the "What Ifs?". If you find yourself with BM on your mind too much, try to distract yourself by doing something else that will not remind you of BM.
I know it is easier said than done but there is way too much uncertainty in the world and you cannot control anyone but yourself.