Virginia Laws
Hello. This is only my second blog and I have already gotten so many good ideas! I appriciate everyone who responded, I think I know which direction I am going to take. I believe we are going to get a lawyer, even for the mediation. BM tends to bully my BF into getting her way and by getting a lawyer hopefully we can squash some of the drama (but I realize it will always be there). I was just wondering if anyone had any specific information on VA child custody and divorce laws? I would like to know if living together affects his chances if we are not married? How long after a divorce can someone get remarried? Thanks!
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In Va they often tack on
In Va they often tack on standard clauses to visitation orders. One of those clauses is a prohibition of cohabitation with a non-family member of the opposite sex. Check to see if that clause is part of your BFs visitation. If not, make sure that it doesn't get arbitrarily added.
It was a part of my FDH's order and he is the custodial parent. BM filed for custody shorty after I moved in. A GAL was appointed to assess custody & living arrangements. Ultimately, the order was amended to allow FDH to cohabitate with me and custody did not change. I jokingly said I should get Court Approved tattooed on my ass!
Va is a very conservative state and does takes the issue seriously. We were told by the lawyer that the longer it's been since the divorce is final and BD & BM have lived together, the better the chances. The court's view it as psychologically confusing to the children to have a new adult in a partner role with the parent until the kids have adjusted to the divorce.
I hope this helps but it's probably not what you want to hear.
I will check and see if it is
I will check and see if it is included but I do not believe that it is. I had heard that about Virginia and it was one of the things that concerned me. The gray area with him is that they are still married but have been separated for almost 4 years (it will be four years in Jan). The divorce will hopefully be final soon. What is a GAL?
Would it also help our case that the BM had an affair (which is also a misdemeanor in VA) and she is the reason that the marriage dissolved. My BF tried to make it work even after he found out about the affair (which he has a hand written letter from her stating that she has been cheating on him with so and so and she doesn't want to be married anymore and she hopes that he will find someone who deserves him). To me it would seem like a double standard to punish us for making a stable home after she rocked it. Does that make sense? Ok let me explain it this way lol, after she had the affair he had to get out of the house because it was her parents house. He lost his job and had to move around a little bit, he did not have a steady place to live. We got together, while we were both going through a rough time, and we worked together to pick ourselves up. We now have a nice, clean, and warm home. He is working as a mechanic and I am a bank teller going to school full time to be a teacher (I graduate in May YAY) We eat dinner together every night, say the blessing, have game night, read bedtime, and excreta. So the fact that we live together provides SS with a more stable home.
I forgot to thank you for
I forgot to thank you for your post. whether it is what I want to hear or not it is what I need to know and hear so thank you