This is what SO said to me when I got home from the grocery store this morning.
The kicker, SO has been working EVERY SINGLE day this weekend. So who has really been the one to deal with her the majority of the weekend? Yeah me. On Friday evening he was praising her for a great week and promising extra treats and priviledges. I finally opened my mouth and said "WTF are you talking about?!" He thought she had a dry week, behaved at school, taken care of her responsibilities. Well I had to stop him, he usually works from when SD11 gets home from school until after shes already in bed so I am the one thats been dealing with all the behavior issues. He confronted SD about all this and she denied and lied and covered up so he comes down fuming and accusing me of lying. I calmly go and point out the evidence she had hidden and the notes from teachers ect. That led to a very candid talk about that fact that I don't bring ANYTHING about SD up because he gets so defensive and accuses me of picking on her or being too hard on her or exaggerating the facts. He apologized and promised to try to change. Well, first opportunity came Saturday morning when SD11 woke up, daddy said its a "fresh start" the weeks issues are all wiped clean. Still she lied again and was messing with BD1s stuff and hid her peed in clothes in my clean towels and so I said after being on THIN ice with me she was grounded for the weekend. SO actually without question backed me up. This morning I decided to run to the store I come back to SD11 sitting in the dining room in her "time out" chair(I HATE that he thinks time-outs are enough to punish an 11 year old) and he was in the living room with a very angry look on his face. I ask him if hes ok and his response was, "Does she WANT to be in trouble!? I really want to just take her and drop her off at her mother's doorstep. HOW SAD IS THAT!?" I can't remember what I said but it was understanding and that of course made him mad that I would possibly want SD11 gone. I am not the only one at my witts end with this girl. I think the most unfair part is, I AM THE ONE that takes care of her. This week I think SO will actually be here with her 2 nights. I really honestly think its time for her mom to step up. He has physically had her for the last 6 years. First, BM2 raised her now I am raising her. I think its her mothers turn to raise her. I know that giving up is horrible and no one is a lost cause, but I'm done with this. This girl is getting worse no matter what we do. Counseling has done NOTHING for her at all. How bad am I really for hoping he follows through on his threat?!