I think they are cheeting behind my back and I don't know what to do.

My husband had split from the ex before I came along although they still lived together. As soon as she found out about me the s@@t hit the fan and its been trouble. Been together 5 years, been married for 3. His kids are 9 and 7 and we get on great. He is still round her place two if not 3 evenings a week from school kick out up to like 9:00pm and its driving me insane. They are not allowed to stay, and she makes sure to cause as many problems as she can. Financially it's a huge drain, I am mostly kept as far away for. Them as she can make it. I have found texts from her declaring her undying love for him to which they both denied. I went away with my mum for the evening and he spent most the evening at hers getting home at like 11:30pm and refusing to take my calls or texts. He swears there is nothing going on but I really don't trust him. He accuses me of cheating all the time and I never have and never would, but it seems like I'm being made a fool of time and time again. Is there arrangement reasonable? Do you think I'm being made a fool of? I just don't know what to do and he won't change a thing. I have tired talking and got upsets and begged even, still he spends so much time there. I'm desperate and don't know what to do or think. Looking for help and advice

nataliewoo's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

It doesn't really matter if

It doesn't really matter if they are having a physical relationship or not. He is acting in a way that leaves you out in the cold and unhappy. Don't count on changing him. Look into how you can improve your life.

If he isn't cheating he is

If he isn't cheating he is putting his ex and their kids before his wife. So in actuality he wasn't ready for remarriage to you. He is still hung up on being 24/7 Dad to his kids which means he somewhat lives with his ex even if there isn't a physical relationship.

I would make a move to move on. Make an exit plan and explain that as he likes being with her more than being alone and waiting for your return it is painfully obvious he is still emotionally attached to this woman. So it would only be fair to give him all the freedom he wants to spend all his free time with her and not be worried about you.

Also if he is challenging you about cheating it is likely to be a case of deflection "I will accuse you of doing what I am doing so you spend all your time proving me wrong and I don't have to explain myself."

By letting him go to have the kind of relationships he wants (and you and most of the civilised world DON'T!)he has no recourse or cannot accuse you of infidelity or anything else.