Dealing with exes & Os
For the past 5 years I have been dealing with my blended family issues..
My BF EX and their 2 kids aged 4 & 8 at the time
my Ex and our children aged 3 & 7 at the time
Ive stood by his side through all the Bullshit Court dates ( and there was alot) for my BF to atleast have fortnightly visits with his kids..
The lies and bullshit she would put into court documents just to deface the father of her children. the Stories she would tell my S kids about there father. the crocodile tears his ex put on and then smurked when she got her way in court.
All because he left her and couldn't deal with him not coming back this time..
she was and possibly is still in love with him and obsessed on seeing him be alone Unhappy and close to killing himself.
My S kid ( now 13yrs) is aware that his mother is diagnosed bipolar and doesn't take her prescribed medication like she should. He would often call her a mental BITCH when at our house, which I quickly reacted that he shouldn't talk like that about his mum. His also showed us text messages x 4 that his sent his Now S dad . 1 asking him to come home from work because his mum was going crazy and screaming in the baby's face and throwing things. 2. if he knew where she was because she took off and left him home with her newest infant child. 3. that his scared because his mother was again screaming over a dish that wasn't washed up properly.. 4.. that his mother has left again and no one knows where she is.
I've always been a firm believer even with my 2 biological kids father. never put the other parent down in front or too the kids. in time they will see the lying deceitful abusive person for who they are. true colours always come out..
after 4 loooong years through court.
we finally got a court order In place for my BF to have permanent visiting rights.
it was and still is a WHY THE F##K ARE YOU STILL HERE lesson..
Do I feel that if I wasn't as strong of a person I am . could I have dealt with the ex baggage.. defiantly not
his ex would message atleast every second day abuse both our phones.
telling me that I deserve better and I should bread up with him now..
it was draining on my mental health having to deal with his psycho ex..
My children's father was easy to deal with when it come to sorting the kids out, we went to mediation. sat in front of one another and talked it through.
but in saying that he wasn't an easy person to deal with in general.. his abusive messages / stalking . telling my kids lies about me. in between sorting this shit out.
I found that in my 5 yrs of dealing with exes on either side all they want to do is make themselves look like the good guy by putting the other parent down.. which does my f-ing head in trying to be the smarter parent and just brushing it off.. behind closed doors I was a mess.
skip forward years. and things were going good.
both S kids seems to have free run of the house at there mum's. xbox till 3am. not bed time. the swearing ( I swear .. I'm an adult)
but at our home. we have structured rules. bed at 10pm weekend's. rinse your own dishes after you use them. manners. and no swearing ( we have little kids )
I have great Close Relationships with both of my S Kids aged 8 yrs & 12 yrs now. my S kids would come and visit fortnightly / school holidays . now the past month guaranteed every week on the Thursday before they were due to come my S Kid Now age 12 would message saying his not coming because of me , because he doesn't like the way I talk about his mum. I call her names but only when my BF is not around Now this is the second time his stated that I do that. last time I confronted him and he apologized for lying . but again I'm kinda taken back from what he says. because I've always been a firm believer as i said before of not talking shit about the other parent.
My BF asked me if I had said them things and i was like are you serious.. u know me and u know i dont like talking about her at the best of times let alone telling your son.. that his mother is blah blah...
I felt like in that moment he doubted me...
My questions are .
Will my BF resent me because his kid doesn't want to come to our home...
is his son trying to make him choose between us.
is it teenage hormones and anger issues coming into play..
do i just let them win and say F it. I'm out
or is it the kaos of his mother's house hold compared to our normal home with rules. that he resents??
help. I need adivice on how to deal