My step daughter needs an apartment and a job.
Hello everyone. I’m resentful married. I knew his kids lived with him. But I didn’t know the 25 year old step daughter was lazy, manipulative, uses my husband as an atm. I resent her laying around my house eating and reading the books on the cell phone until school starts, basically doing nothing all day and don’t clean because “she feels like slave”
Well the Son 23 and daughter 6 are normal. He works. The baby is in school. The baby momma is easier to deal with than this Sd. I love my husband but,I’m planning my escape.
I suggested to him that we live separate until sd 25 finishes school (1 1/2 Years left).
I’m fed up. I love my husband but can’t stand his daughter. When he and I are having issues she’ll post an I miss you mom to her dead mother. Coincidence or no. She sneaky too. When I’m home during the day she’ll keep her distance but calls Dad to let him know what I’m doing. My husband believes everything his “big” princess says
I can’t take this too much longer!!!
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Once again.
It’s. Husband problem!!! Putting his DD over the one that he sleeps with.
Your plan to exit is wise. I
Your plan to exit is wise. I imagine my SD will be like this too. I’m scared. I’m slowly exiting as well.
Why on earth are Skids 25 and
Why on earth are Skids 25 and 23 still living with their dad!!! The thing with being a step mom is you may think you know what you are getting into but you have absolutely no idea. Rude awakening! if your husband's trusts his daughter over you his better half then there is a big problem. Before planning your escape go for counselling if it doesn't help then say goodbye.
There is absolutely no way
There is absolutely no way that I would live like this. SD reporting to your husband what you are doing, in your own home? Nope.
I’m resentful married.
I’m resentful married.
That's quite the Freudian slip and I think that, subconciously, you meant that.
Your husband believes his daughter over his wife. Wow. Even if you live apart until SD finishes school, there is NO guarantee she will move out. I could not and would not live like this. Continue to plan your escape.
Freudian slip
I know exactly what I said. Lol
Have you
have you asked your husband if it's "Slavery" to ask an adult woman to clean up after herself then what is it to ask someone else to clean up after her?
Next time she texts your husband about you, have a woman to woman chat with her.
"SD, you're a grown up woman, right?"
"yeah"
"The next time you sit in my home and "tattle" on me to my own husband, I will take your phone and lock it in a safe. You can have it back the day you get your own home that you pay for. Btw, here is the list of housemate chores that I've written up. Your share is in in purple. You will do them or I will consider you no longer a member of my household. I will hire movers to come pack your room and put your things in storage. There is no place in the world that you can live and not be expected to help clean. It's not slavery, it's adulthood."
edit: I'm not just blowing smoke about that. I did the same exact thing to my BS18. A few months ago he thought he'd get lippy with DH because "I'm an adult and can do what I want". Lol. Ok, bubba. He's a totally different person now.
But, the difference is you
But, the difference is you said it to your own BS. I'm not sure OP's DH would let her speak that way to his «Big Princess»
A friend/acquaintance is
A friend/acquaintance is going through something similar with her 14yo daughter. She doesn't want her mom bothering her or telling her to do things; like a really angry, resentful teenager - on the verge of SD14 behavior. I suggest she sit down with the kid and ask her what she wants then. And I'll bet it's "be an adult and do my own thing." So I suggested, if she says that then GREAT - DO IT. Tell her from then on she's a roommate. She'll be expected to do all her own cleaning, laundry and help around the house. That she will do her own cooking/meal making. That she will need to get a job (part time / babysitting / that sort of thing) and a portion of that will go to her 'rent.' That there will be quiet hours and regular inspections of her living quaters (like in any apartment). Etc., etc. Because THAT is adult life.
She looked at me in silence for a few seconds and then said, "Why didn't I think of that - that's exactly right."
I don't know what happened as I haven't run into her but next time I do will be interesting.
If the 25 year old is still
If the 25 year old is still in school, she needs to be working as well and Dad needs to stop the cash handouts. That's what adults do. If she wants to live at home, she needs to contribute to the home--if she lived in her own apartment she'd have to cook and clean, so no different when she's living in somebody else's house. If she creates the mess and you clean up the mess, tell me WHO is the slave? It sure ain't her.
Could be your DH is getting something out of keeping his daughter dependent on him. I had no idea that happened so frequently until I joined here. HE is your problem just as much as she is. WHY is he not encouraging her independence and full adult functioning? He's doing her a great disservice.
I would have no problem at all living apart until she moves out. You can still have a happy marriage, and it might be the only way you CAN have a happy marriage.