hey I'm new here...
Hello,
NOT sure if this is the correct way to introduce myself but...
I'm 44 and in the process of a divorce and have 2 teen boys. I am dating a man I've known all my life with teens of his own. His teens seem to hate me.. even though we have never met. They have blocked myself and my boys from facebook... etc. LOL
I know sounds sorta silly now that I type that huh?
But anyhow... his Ex hates me and always has. I guess what has happened in the past is she refused to let the family ever talk about me etc.. because she knew we had a history.. even though I haven't seen him in 25 years!
We plan on being married once our divorces are both final. He's been separated for over a year and me for about 8 months... I know sounds sudden huh? But we have both admitted to being in love with each other basically our entire lives just took the "scenic" route to get here.
I guess what I'm hoping for is some advice on how to handle the kids.. who will ultimately be my step children.
The daughter is 13 and a real cute girl.. I think we would definitely get along if given me the chance... boy is in between my two and I think they would all get along tremendously..
I have so much to ask and will ask as I go along searching your site..
Looking forward to finding out information to help my situation!
- mom2boyz's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Welcome!
Welcome!
Hi Mom2boys. Ugh, how to
Hi Mom2boys. Ugh, how to handle the stepchildren (skids) GOOD QUESTION. I think the most important thing for you to do before you get married is for you and your fiance to talk about it together. If he does not support you and expect his children to respect you (and vice versa) because if they dislike you now and he doesn't tell them to knock it off you are in for a long haul!! Hopefully the kids will settle down enough to get to know you.
It could be tough with that
It could be tough with that many teens in one house, especially with both divorces so fresh. I lucked out in that both of my sons (18 & 20 at the time) were on there own and in college before SO and I moved in together with his 4 (11-19 at the time). If we all lived together, my sons might have killed them :o
Well, first we won't have any
Well, first we won't have any teens in the house by the time we move in together. My oldest is a sophomore in college at the moment and youngest is a jr. in high school and by the time we move in together he will be off in college too. His children will be one in college the other in high school and she'll be fulltime with her mom. So the kids living under the same roof won't happen. So that is one worry we wont' have.
As for the confusion ... we were not having an affair because he's been 400+ miles away since he was 20 years old. I spoke to him before I got married to shut "that door"... and thought I did.. til my marriage fell apart and I told his sister my marriage broke up and she told me his did too..LOL So no we didnt' have an affair and while the kids may have issues believing that.. time will tell.
I do think his daughter's issues aren't just me.. I think she's at a bad age at 13 years old.. we all remember those years... it's tough.
I'm just not sure what to do... I feel like I'm making him choose... but he insists we're a package deal and the kids will just have to get over it... but why do I still have issues with feeling guilty that he'll maybe not see his daughter much if at all after I move there.. not like he sees her much now..
I guess I wanted you all to know we're not just rushing into things.. we've known each other forever... and I've been friends with his sister and family since I was 13 years old...so not like we just met.
Oh and don't worry we both went through the "are we in love with the teens we used to be" and while we were concerned .. that is not the case at all. While we both loved each other as kids.. we both love who the other has become as an adult. If that makes any sense... different yet the same.. we just fell right back into place...