Hi there everyone - I have written a couple of blogs in the past so let me give you an update. My husband and I are doing OK, not great but much better. I have decided to have my DD, 16, live with her dad right now. It was so stressful with her and her SD. They don't get along and it is hard. He has tried so hard over the last few years to connect with her. They will have a relationship and then BOOM!, it's like he doesnt exist to her. Everyday is a new day. From her point of view, any time she improves, we find something new to critize her on and she has just given up caring. She told me today she wants to stay with her dad - it is much easier there, less stressful. I am working on improving my relationship with her and we plan to meet for hikes and bike rides. Its not the same though and it hurts me.
Now, I am worried about my youngest daughter - I am worried that she wont want to come to my house anymore either. She gets upset when she is here because we are too strict and there are too many rules. Let me be clear - I am somewhat strict but not super strict by any stretch of the means. The problem is that my exhusband has absolutely NO rules. We give the kids each one chore that they take care of during the week (emptying garbage, etc) and they each clean one thing in the bathroom each week. That is it. Other than that, they are expected to have clean rooms, make their bed, put their stuff away - basic stuff. So, the struggle here is that her dad has no rules. Now, I took my daughters cell phone away from her at night because I don't want a daughter who grows up attached to it - she is 11.
I don't know if I am doing the right thing - it seems like I can either have my husband or my kids, but not both. I don't know how things are going to work out but right now, I dont have a lot of confidence in my marriage lasting. If we didn't have young kids, definitely. But, the kids make it so hard - I feel like if they aren't perfect, he gets upset. It is like he is looking for something to get upset with at times. And, he will get on my girls about communicating, saying hi and bye when he goes out of his way to shut people out when he is upset. Seems pretty childish in my eyes - expecting kids to meet you half way when you won't even go any distance.
So - I guess my question is - would you stay? I love my husband very much but I love my kids more than life itself. Do I stick it out with the kids until they are grown or should I cut my losses and go? Right now, I just dont see a whole lot of signs telling me I should stay.